Let Me Know
by ashleyss27
Summary: "Spencer" I said in barley a whisper. She looked at me with an unreadable expression. "Yeah Ash?" Finally i was going to tell her, I knew it had to be now or never. "I...I think...I'm in love with you.."
1. Mashed potato bombs

Being in love with your best friend isn't that terrible is it? I mean even if the person probably wont ever love you back, it still isn't that bad, right? The pain can't possibly hurt that much right? Well my name is Ashley Davies, and I'm oh-so-in-love with my best friend in the whole world, Spencer Carlin. And trust me, it isn't the easiest thing in the world.

It all started in the eighth grade. We had almost all of our classes together. We met how any two typical kids in junior high meet, we started a food fight! I was sitting across from her on the last day of eighth grade, just contemplating on if I could nail the teacher in the head with my roll that was standing approximately ten yards away.

One of my friends that was sitting next to me that day, Aiden, asked "Ash, what did that poor teacher do to make you give him that look?" I just rolled my eyes and said, "I want to start a food fight, here!" I say as I hand him half of my roll. "Throw this as far as you can to the other side, and see if you hit someone!" He just looks at me like I'm off my crazy pills and puts the roll down. "Na Ash, I think I'm good, they still will give you detention on the last day of school you know!" Aiden had never been one to go along with my plans. He was on the basketball team and was always worried about getting in trouble or having detention, gods forbid he misses practice! I stuck my tongue out at him "Fine, if you are going to be a wuss I'll find someone else!" And that's when we first spoke, the girl of my dreams looked and me and said, "I'll do it."

She didn't look like the trouble making type, she wore a dinosaur shirt with some blue jeans and black converse. I myself was very, how do you say, style challenged, back then. I was wearing what all the other kids in my group wore. We all wore big black baggy pants, like with chains and shit from hottopic, black gloves, dark makeup, black shirts. Okay just the goth look pretty much. I knew who were the trouble makers in school and who weren't. My butt had a permanent imprint on the chair outside of the principals office. The counselors and secretaries knew me by name within the first week of school. I thought it was an impressive record myself! "Your going to throw a roll...at someone...and hit them with it?" I said back slowly in just in case she misunderstood what she was volunteering for. She got an annoyed look on her face and rolled her eyes. Hey, no one is aloud to roll their eyes at me! I was about to let her know exactly that when she interrupted my conversation with myself and said, "No actually, I think I'm going to just use my cookie instead."

And just like that she was standing up before my very eyes and chucking her cookie, (haha that sounds kinda gross) across the lunch room like a Frisbee and nailing Mr. Martin right on the side of the head like a pro! By the time Mr. Martin could turn around I was on my feet with a huge grin on my face yelling at the top of my lungs, "FOOOOD FIIIGHT!" And just like it does in the movies, those words set off mashed potato bombs and chocolate milk grenades flying across the room. Spencer and I were actually on top of our table counting how many kids we hit. "14, ooo that one got in her hair" I'd yell backwards at her. "27, right in the face!" She would reply back. Now as you might have guessed by now, the teachers have come from down the hall and from outside to stop the food massacre that was happening. When it was all said and done Spencer and I were on the floor laughing so hard we didn't even notice that our principal Mr. Harvick was in front of us looking not very chipper with milk dripping from his glasses and a nice mixture of corn and mashed potatoes in his hair.

And all I could say for myself once we both finally stopped laughing was, "Told you I got him with the milk." All that did was start up a whole new round of laughter between the two of us. Mr. Harvick however, did not find it as humorous. Spencer and I sat out side of that office until our parents came to get us after school. He saved me for last. Spencer had never gotten in trouble before, I found that out while we waited for our parents. "This is probably the worst thing I've ever done in my whole life." she squeaked out once we were in our assigned spots outside the office. "Well you've only had about 14 years of living to compare it too squrt, so don't get too rough on yourself." I joked back trying to make her ease up a bit. It worked I saw her crack the same smile that I've become addicted to over the past 7 years. 'I'm actually 15." she says. "I got held back once, but no one really notices me being older than them. I guess its because I'm kinda short for my age." We kept talking for a few more minuets enjoying the others company. I only got to enjoy a brief moment of it though because not soon after that her parents walked in the door. That was the first time I had the pleasure of meeting the one and only Paula Carlin. And let me tell you, I wish it was the last time I met that woman.


	2. Next Year, I Promise

**Thanks for all the story alerts and ClosetRomeo thank you for the review! :) I like reviews guys, I hope this chapter will encourage you to do so. The chapters will be longer the more you review ;)**

**I don't own spence and ash, but the story line is all me.**

Now let me have just a moment of your time to tell you about Spencers mother. Paula Carlin, about 5"7 blonde, very attractive blue eyes, that's where Spencer gets them from. She is a loving, protective mother, she is a doctor that recently moved her children from Ohio to the upbeat fast paced streets of my hometown of LA. She is a doctor, and oh yeah I forgot to mention, a bible thumping christian that thinks all gays will burn in hell for the rest of eternity (breathes). Whoo now that I've gotten that out of the way, if you haven't already caught on to this, I'm gay. Which would make this encounter I'm about to have with my soon to be best friends mother, a not so fun one.

"Spencer Ray Carlin!" she almost yelled across the lobby. I make a mental note that her middle name is Ray, wait...why am I trying to learn things about this girl, I just started talking to her while trying to dodge a flying potpie, or was it a pop-tart...Sorry I digress! I look over to see Spencer hunched over in her seat, her face a bright shade of red as she is trying not to make eye contact with anything but the floor. "What were you thinking! A food fight would be a great way to start the summer off with?" Paula nearly growls at her daughter. "Well missy I'll have you know that your first month of summer is canceled as of now!"

I cannot believe what I'm hearing. Did this Nazi lady really just tell her 15 year old she is grounded for a whole month, just because she got in trouble one time? Man my parents just look at me and roll their eyes. Then take me home after apologizing to the principals. I guess this would be a good time to touch base with you about my parents. My mom doesn't really like to acknowledge that I'm alive much less try and discipline me. My dad, well he is a rock star. His name is Raife Davies, heard of him? Yeahh lots of people have. He isn't ever around much due to his tours and just living his dream. Him and mom called it quits when I was about seven, so I don't really know what a normal family is supposed to do in this situation. I guess just yell at their kids and take away their summer freedom.

I also haven't been taught to keep my mouth shut around adults, or what is appropriate to say to them and what is not. So naturally I say, "Are you really going to take away a month of her summer vacation? Geez you must be on your rag." Out of the corner of my eye I see Spencer look at me with wide eyes, but stays quiet. Her mom on the other hand, has no problem saying what is on her mind.

"Excuse me? I do not believe your input was asked for you little delinquent! Spencer get up we're going home." I watch as Spencer gets up like a she has been set on fire. She looks at me with a look in her eyes that can only be taken as an embarrassed apology. I just smile at her and wave my hand as if to say I've heard worse. She gives me a smile back that makes my stomach have butterflies. Gosh this girl is really getting to me. Right as she walks out of the office my mother walks in, Christine. Oh Christine. She looks at me and I just point to Mr. Harvick's office. My mother rolls her eyes and walks in shutting the door behind her. As I'm sitting there waiting I shut my eyes and day dream about Spencer. Its not long before I actually fall asleep and start dreaming, and what an awesome dream it was. Spencer and I were at the beach, we were older, about 17 or 18.

We skipped school to hang out just the two of us. We had just gotten out of the water after playing and having tickle fights, I could feel her warm skin contrasting with the cool waves against my body. I was laying out on my favorite blue towel and she had a bright tie die one. My eyes were closed and I could hear her steady breathing next to me. " I think I like girls." Suddenly comes from the girl next to me. I open my eyes and look at her for a moment, her eyes are still closed. "Like, like?" I say back. Right as she is about to answer me, I wake up to my mothers high pitched fake laugh and the office door flying open.

"Oh Mr. Harvick you are too kind to Ashley." she says while touching his arm, yuck! " Its no trouble at all, and call me Daren." he says trying to be sly about his intentions. I clear my throat and they snap out of whatever weird little thing that just happened between them. " Mr. Harvick, I mean, Daren, has decided to let you off easy this time Ashley, no detention this year," I almost leap out of my seat with joy at my mothers words, " But," she continues making all hope drain from my face. " You have to join two clubs next year and a sport, and that means you have to keep up your grades, stay out of trouble, and for godsakes make some new friends." I can't believe what I am hearing. Suddenly I would take Spencer's punishment easily. "Are- Are you serious?" I sputter out. "Yes I am." She uses her final voice and I know she means business. That's the same voice she used when she told my dad to get out.

All I could do was sit there with my mouth open. Mr Harvick decided to break the deafening silence that had filled the room. "Ashley, if you'll just go across the hall Mrs. Stafford will help you change your schedule for next year." I get up assuming my mother will follow me. "Aren't you coming?" I ask when she stays put. "No dear, Daren and I have some important things to discuss in his office. When your done just call Roberto to come pick you up." By the red shade of my principals face, I didn't think they would be doing much talking. Gross!

I walk into Mrs. Staffords office and just plop down on the seat with a sigh. "Tough day Ash?" she asks why finishing up some paper work. Mrs. Stafford is one of the only adults in this school who actually like me. I don't know why but ever since the first time I came to the office she's always had a soft spot for me. "Yeah" I say in a huff, " Started the food fight today with Spencer Carlin, and now my mom is getting it on with the principal. So now I'm here to add two new clubs and a sport on my list of reasons why I hate school." She doesn't even look up at my reference to my mom and principal 'getting interment'. I've always been able to be open and honest with Mrs. Stafford, she knew a lot about me.

Probably because she was only 23 or at most 25. Not to mention she was SMOKIN HOT! She pulled up some files on the screen and looked at me and said, "Spencer Carlin was in that mess today? Isn't she usually a good student?" I can't help the smile that spreads across my face. Its one of those smiles that makes my nose crinkle up. "Yep!" I say through a giggle, "I guess I just bring out the naughty side in people." Mrs. Stafford just smiled and shook her head. "Alright, we've got speech and drama club, agriculture, chess club, science club, debate club,music,and math club. And for sports we have swimming, powder puff football, softball, lacrosse, basketball, and track." As she finished up the list I couldn't decide. Then I get an idea. "Mrs. S, you couldn't possibly tell me if Spencer is in any of those clubs or sports?"

When she just gives me a puzzled look I explain, "Well I was just thinking maybe, if I already knew someone it would be easier for me to fit in." I give her my best puppy dog look and wait for her to answer. When she starts to type in Spencer name on the computer I try to hide my smile. "Out of those particular subjects she is taking, math club, agriculture, and swimming." When she finishes she gives me an expectant look.

I think it over very carefully. "Alright." I finally say, "Put me in agri- what ever and swimming, but instead of math club go ahead and put me in music." She nods her head and seems pleased by my choices. When she gets done typing all she needs she shuts down the machine and starts packing up. "Is your mother taking you home?" She asks as she looks at the office door, she shudders as if she got the heebee jeebee's.

I laugh because her thoughts mirror my own and say, "No I'm supposed to call Roberto to come pick me up, but I don't think she remembers she fired him a long time ago for taking me to get ice cream with Aiden when I was grounded once." She sighs and mumbles something about good for nothing something something somethings. When she realizes I'm still in the room, she pats my shoulder and says, "Come on sweetie, I'll take you home." We walk out of the school and start to talk about summer plans and things like that. When we are almost to her car I notice a black SUV still in the parking lot, I don't think anything of it. When we drive by I can see in the car is Spencer, her mother is still yelling at her. I can see her brother looking smug in the back seat. The cars pass and I see Spencer is crying. I get all sick feeling inside and feel horrible as we drive by. I think back to my statement earlier about wishing I had Spencer's punishment and quickly retract my thought. "Next year," I say to myself, "next year I'll make it up to you."


	3. Picasso

The summer came and went fairly quick. I went to Vegas with my dad for a few weeks, but only ended up sitting in the hotel room by myself for most of the time. The only time I got to see him was when he came stumbling into the room at six in the morning and on the plane ride home.

As you can guess, he didn't feel like talking much. So now it's the week before school and I get the schedule in the mail. I'm only slightly interested in the words on the page.

"First hour English, Second hour Art,(hmmm dont remember signing up for that) Third hour Music, Fourth hour Math, Fifth hour History, Sixth hour Agri-whatever, and finally Seventh hour Swimming." I say out loud to myself.

I shove the list back into the envelope and lay it on the counter for my mother to see when she gets home from her weekend date with 'Daren' YUCK!

I still have a hard time dealing with my mom dating my principal. The week flies by and only too soon am I waking up to the beautiful hour of six am. This year I decided to change up my look a lot. More rocker, less vampire. I have baggy jeans with holes in the knees, a vintage Joan Jett t-shirt, some red converse, and some decent makeup. I must say I look pretty awesome myself.

I hear Aiden's dad honk in the drive way so I run down stairs and sling my new black and red Quick Silver bag over my shoulder, and out the door I go. As soon as I get in the car me and Aiden compare our classes. We have English and History together. Lame, we never get the same fun classes together, probably for good reason though. I suddenly remember about Spencer, and what her face looked like the last time I saw it.

I would make it up to her this year, I just had too.

When we got to school my eyes started scanning for her almost automatically. I didn't see her out in the front anywhere, but that didn't mean anything.

She could be inside for breakfast or not even at school yet. Aiden and I go to our usual spot with our old group of friends, Kenny, Desiree, Kymber, Michael, and Madison. Madison and Aiden were a thing now. They had gone out for 4 months last year, and stayed dating through the summer.

And let me tell you in the 8th grade, when you go out for over four months, people just say you might as well get married. Everyone knew Aiden had a crush on me but I was into girls, what could I do. Desiree was my big crush of the moment.

She and I had kissed in her bedroom once, and I was "in love" ever since, or so I thought. But, just as fate would have it she was not interested in me as anything more than a friend and a quick kiss every now and then. She was into my pal Kenny. And if your catching on to the pattern here, you should know who Kenny likes...anyone? You in the back! That's right! He likes Madison! Good job here is a cookie! If you think this is a tangled web, just wait, I have a lot more to weave in.

I was facing the street, talking to Desiree when I saw Spencer get off the bus. Now as lame as this sounds, it was one of those slow motion moments that happen in the movies.

She got off the bus wearing a tight plain black shirt, jeans, and of course her black converse. I was completely zoned out on her the entire time. I don't know why I didn't notice last year, but she was one of the most beautiful girls I'd ever seen in my whole life.

I learned just how beautiful she was by the way she acted through the years i've known her, and every day it gets more and more obvious in my eyes. She walked right past me, not even giving me a second glance. I don't even know if she recognized me. We had only met that once in the cafeteria, but her face was burned in my mind forever. I had to know this girl.

First hour was a blur. A long, boring, drawn out blur! Aiden and I just threw notes back and forth making fun of our teacher Mrs. Garrison the whole time. We were in high school now so we didn't know any of the teachers, and even better, the teachers didn't know us! Needless to say both of us have detention for the remainder of the week. I told her she wouldn't like what was in the note. She should have listened to me and not read it! Second hour was when I talked to Spencer. I saw her sitting alone at a table in art, I guess I'm glad this class got put on my schedule after all.

I sat down across from her. "Hey." I said looking at her only for a second. I began getting out a folder and paper, along with a pen and pencil. She started laughing. "What are you doing?" She got out between giggles. "Getting out some school supplies for class, why? Whats so funny?" I said confused. She still had a smile on her face. "You've never taken art before have you?" I just shook my head no, getting lost in the way she her eyes lit up when she laughed. "Put that stuff away, you wont be needing it in this class." Right when she finished saying that Mr. Avila walked into the room and said, "Everyone close your eyes." Everyone in the class did what they were told right away, I was a little late just because I was caught off guard by this odd demand from a teacher. Usually they want us to keep out eyes open in class, but hey I wasn't going to argue with this. "Now picture the one thing in the world that makes you happy no matter what, get a good picture of it in your mind." Do not think about boobs Ashley do not think about boobs! "Now open your eyes." Thank goodness!

"Take what you pictured in your mind, and describe in detail to the person next to you what you saw. Now once the other person has told you what they saw, draw it out. This is a test to both people on using description and ability to take what you hear and make it appear on paper. No looking at the other persons work until they are done! Now get started, there are sheets of drawing paper up at the front and all the drawing supplies you'll need. This will count as your first test grade so try your best." With that said he sat at his desk and turned on the local rock station 93.5 The Bone and let it blast through the room. A test? On the first day of school? This class was nuts! Spencer started to get up first, "Do you want me to go grab you some stuff while I'm up there?" She asked on her way. "Yeah sure." I said dismissively. No way in hell was I about to try to draw something that I couldn't even see! My drawing skills have not improved since about third grade. My stick people were pretty sick though I wasn't gana lie.

She came back with a pretty decent sized piece of paper for me with a lot of colors, and a huge piece of paper for her with three different types of pencils, paints, and oil pastels. "Damn, what do you think makes me happy, an entire amusement park?" I said trying to be funny. She smiled a little, "No, I just love art so even if you said a frog, I was prepared to draw an entire pond, with maybe even a few zombie frogs in it too!" I just started to laugh. "Wow, I never thought I would hear something like that come out of your mouth." She looked a little offended. "How do you know what would come out of my mouth, do you even know my name?" The look on her face was expectant. She obviously didn't remember me from last year. I did look pretty different with out dressing like the living dead. I suddenly felt like a creeper, this girl was all I thought about during summer. I knew her middle name and everything. I didn't want her to know any of that, so I just played it off. "No, my names Ashley by the way," I stuck my hand across the table, "what's yours?" I thought I saw her face fall a little bit, but I could be imagining it. With out missing a beat she put her hand in mine and said, "Spencer." She shook my hand once, and then took her hand out of mine. "So, Spencer, tell me what makes you happy."

This assignment couldn't be more perfect. I wanted nothing more than to get to know this girl the best that I could. She answered a lot faster than I thought she would, "That's easy. Art." Really? Could she not have given me something more pinpointed? Like, I don't know, stick people! "Hmm, care to be a little more specific?" I said when she didn't explain more. "Well, I like painting the most, so I guess you can use that one." She said this like it was supposed to be helpful. I'd just have to pull something out of my butt on this one. "Okay, I have a perfect idea for that one." I lied. "Good. Okay Ash go ahead and tell me what makes you happy, is it going to be an amusement park?" Oh this girl has jokes now does she? I try not to let it show on my face that she called me Ash. I think about it for a moment. I shouldn't say boobs...even though they make me happy. And if I say 'your smile' she will probably get up and walk away! Well I guess I'll give her something just as vague as she gave me, "Music" I said matter-of-factually. This didn't even phase her though, she just nodded her head and got to work. I assumed the conversation wasn't going to go any further, so I ducked my head down and got to work on my picture of "art", oh brother this wasn't going to be easy.


	4. Stick Figure Memories

'Alright Ashley concentrate.' I thought to myself. I had my tounge between my teeth and was giving all my focus to this project in front of me.

I was using different colors, going back and forth from colored pencils to paint, ya know really giving it my all here! I think I might get wrinkles between my eyes from looking so focused at this. "Alright class you have five more minuets to finish up."

I heard Mr. Avilas warning to our class and it only made me work faster. I was almost done with my master piece. "AHA! IM DONE!" I nearly shouted from my seat causing the whole class to look at me in confusion. Realizing that I had just yelled that out loud instead of just in my head.

So I did what any mature high school freshman would do, I stuck my tongue out at them and turned back around.

When I looked back at Spencer I could tell she was fighting a smile. She had gotten done about fifteen minuets ago and had been watching me in silence.

"You better not have looked at my picture!" I tell her in a warning voice. I wanted it to be a surprise. "Oh don't worry," she said stifling a laugh, " I couldn't look away from your face the whole time, you seemed to uh, really be into your project."

By the end her sentence she couldn't hold in her giggles anymore. I didn't know if I should feel offended or not. I honestly couldn't get the elephants in my stomach to stop dancing. That's right people, you may get butterflies, but Spencer Carlin gives me elephants. "It wasn't that funny." I say laughing right along with her.

"Sure it was!" She gets out between fits, "The way you eyebrows were knitted together was adorable." I immediately stop laughing. Adorable? Did she just call me adorable? I am NOT adorable.

Hot, sexy, stunning, intimidating, yes, but adorable?

She noticed my face go serious and started back tracking. "I mean not saying that your adorable or anything, I mean cause I'm a girl, and your a girl so that wouldn't be right and I really don't even know you..." She kept rambling, but I honestly got lost in my own thoughts after she said 'that wouldn't be right'. "Are you homophobic?" I blurt out before I can stop my self.

The tone in my voice stops her ramble and abruptly sends her on another one. "N-no! That's not what I'm trying to say at all, its just my mother is really catholic and old fashioned so I guess its a habit to spout out the things she taught me and how I was raised, but please don't take it like that, I'm not homophobic at all I swear, you could even call me a homophilliacist!"

Just in case your wondering, a phillia is this opposite of phobia. "So wait, are you saying your gay?" I ask now slightly amused by her rant.

I may not be the brightest crayon in the box, but I'm pretty sure homophiliacist isn't an actual word. The look on her face was the most hilarious thing I can say I've seen. She instantly got red and her eyes went wide. "NO! That is not it, what I'm saying-"

I cut her off before she could attempt to justify her addition to the english language. "So your addicted to gay people?" I say with a smirk. I raise my eyebrow and stare at her. She is so flustered by this point that she can't even form sentences. "No I just, well you, I didn't want you to think,-"

I honestly think she would have went on until she ran out of air, the poor girl, but luckily for her Mr. Avila saved the day. "Alright class time is up, switch with your partners and discuss what you see on the picture in front of you. Answer the questions on this sheet of paper and hand it in before you leave class. You guys can keep your artwork or even give it to your partner."

Mr. Avila passed out the questioner and went back to his desk. Spencer had yet to raise her head from the table she so gracefully slammed her forehead on while Mr. Avila was talking. "Uh...Spence? Are we gana trade pictures?"

She didn't lift her head but slid her picture toward me face down and grabbed mine in return. I had to laugh at her antics, I mean really her rant wasn't that bad. I looked at the piece of paper Mr. Avila had handed us before looking at Spencers picture.

The questions weren't even hard. They were just general questions like, 'did they listen to what you said', and 'did you like the colors they used in their work.' What kind of test was this? Apparently the first one I'm going to pass without studying! Spencer still hadn't moved from her previous position. "Spencer, come on get up it was funny!"

She still didn't move, she actually just made this gurggling groan noise that I wasn't sure what to think of. "Is that the 'homophiliacist' symptoms kicking in, or are you about to throw up?" I asked while giggling slightly. That caused her to lift her head. I thought she was going to get angry at me for a second before she started laughing.

Soon enough I was laughing right along with her. Once we settled down again she broke our silence, "No, I'm not gay." She said looking down in a whisper, like she wasn't entirely sure. "No, I'm not homophobic. I don't have a problem with gay people."

She finally said looking back at me this time with more assurance in her voice. The last bit made me smile. "Well good, or else I might not let you keep the awesome master piece I just made you." I said while nodding my head towards my still upside down picture. She looked like she wanted to ask me something, she opened her mouth but shut it just as quickly.

I already knew what she wanted to ask me. "Yes I am gay." I said with no hesitation or embarrassment in my voice. I had known I was gay since I was about five. I wanted my malibu barbie to date my cheer barbie, while ken was their servant. I knew something was up after that whole scene went down. She just smiled and nodded her head before Mr. Avila came over to our table.

"Well girls I can see why you haven't written anything on your questioner, looks like both of your pictures are blank." He said while laughing. "Now Spencer I had heard I would get puzzled by some of the things you would draw but this, is more than puzzling to me." He continued on with his joke. Spencer seemed to find it just as funny as he did for some reason. I was the only one lost in this conversation I guess.

"Sorry Mr. Avila, we just got caught up talking. Ash you ready to flip over the pictures now?" Mr. Avila seemed content with our effort to finish the rest of the project so he walked off leaving Spencer and I just looking at each other waiting for the other to make the first move. "Want to do it on the count of three?" I suggested. She nodded her head and started counting. "One, two, three." When I flipped over the picture I was completely memorized.

She had drawn me sitting on a bench, with my head leaned back and my eyes closed. In my right hand I had my Ipod, with skullcandy headphones coming to rest on my ears. In my left hand I had a pair of drumsticks entangled in my fingers.

Behind me were music notes looking like they were being carried by a light breeze up into the air. My feet were crossed in front of me in the green grass. There was a tree about 3 yards to my left casting some shade over the bench that I was sitting on.

The look on my face was one of concentration, my eyes brows were knit together and my tongue was between my teeth on the side of my mouth. As I looked at the picture more I realized how much detail she put into the picture. The piece of hair on one side of my bangs that always hung lower than the other pieces, the way the laces of my shoes were never tied all the way, one string always was out making one of the rabbit ears disappear.

How I always preferred to write important things down on my hand instead of on paper. She had payed amazing detail to the littlest things about me. "Oh my gosh...Spencer this is, just amazing. I'm speechless." I don't know if she even heard what I said, she was staring at my picture just smiling her head off.

See my picture wasn't as great as hers but I did put some thought into it. It was Spencer, as a stick figure of course, in her dinosaur shirt and black converse standing in front of a wall covered in mashed potatoes, cookies, corn, and milk cartons.

She had a fork in her hand that resembled a paint brush and a lunch tray on her hand that had a whole for her thumb to stick through like a paint palet. A man covered in food with milk dripping from his glasses had a conversation bubble coming from his mouth that said 'what did you do to the wall ', Her simple reply in her own conversation bubble said, 'I painted it.'

When she didn't look up from the picture I began to ramble. " I know its not as good as yours, I really can't draw, I don't know why I'm even in this class to begin with, I didn't even sign up for it, I bet it was Stafford, she knew I was artistically challenged and found it hilarious, this is all her fault I knew it..." I would have gone on for a while trying to explain how I was no Picasso, but her hand on mine shut me up fairly quick. She was smiling still but was looking at me instead of the picture.

"It was you wasn't it?" She said after a few minuets. Her hand being on mine had slightly made my brain turn to goo. "Huh?" Real intelligent, I know. Spencer just giggled "Last year on the last day of school, the food fight?" She gave me this head tilt-smile-I'm-the-cutest-freakin-thing-in-the world, look. My insides melted.

"Yeah," I finally managed to get out. "Yeah, it was me. I didn't think you recognized me earlier and I didn't want to seem creepy and bring it up." She nodded and kept smiling. She still had her hand on mine, and I couldn't help but look at it.

My brain needed my eyes to see what was making my hand feel like it was burning, but burning so good. As soon as I looked at our touching hands she removed hers quickly. "Sorry its a habit." Spencer said while tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

I just smiled to let her know that it was fine with me. If this was a habit of hers I wouldn't mind one bit if she did that all the time. "Alright class, bring your papers up to the front of the room along with your art work so I can see what you've done."

Spencer looked at me alarmed and started scrambling answers down as fast as her hands could write. Not wanting to get on the teachers bad side on the first day I soon followed her actions. I liked this class and didn't want to risk getting kicked out for some reason. "Do you want me to take them up there since you got our art supplies?" I asked her.

"No its okay, I wanted to talk with Mr. Avila about my picture if you don't mind me borrowing it for a few minuets." Spencer said while standing up with me. While we were in line I could feel her looking at me from behind. The class room was small so we had to stand close together while all of the students were in line to turn in the assignment.

Every now and then her hand would brush mine and the elephants would do the macarina in my stomach every time. I'd smile to myself and share a shy smile with her. When we finally made it to the front I showed him my picture and handed him my 'test'.

"Well Ashley lets see here..." He trailed off once he got a good look at it. I sighed and rolled my eyes I knew what was coming next. "Yeah I know, I have zero artistic talent." He just smiled and shook his head, "No that's not it. I'm just surprised at the, uh, inventiveness of the picture." Suuure he was. "Thanks." Was all I said as I started walking back to my table with my picture in hand.

From my desk I could vaguley hear his comments about Spencers picture over the Led Zepplin that was coming from the sterio. I caught a few words like, 'genius' and 'beautiful'.

I had to agree, I mean he was talking about a picture of me.

A few seconds later Spencer rejoined me at our table. I noticed she didn't have her picture with her. "Can I keep your picture?" She asked after a few seconds of silence. "Uh, sure" I said confused. "But do you mind me asking why in the hell you would want to keep this?"

She took the picture from my out streched hand and said, "Its a good reminder of one of the funnest days of my life, so far." She added the last part in there as a reference to when I told her she had only lived for fifteen years, and not to be hard on herself. Once she said that the bell rang. She started packing up her things as I did the same.

"Hey where is your picture?" I asked as I was pulling my bag on my shoulders. "Oh, Mr. Avila wanted to enter it into this art contest. My teacher from junior high, Mr. Snyder, had told him that I got entered in them all the time last year so he wants to keep up the tradition I guess." She said as she shrugged on her Hello Kitty shoulder bag.

"Really you got entered in contests?" I wasn't saying it in a non believing way, I was just surprised. Usually you have to be a sophomore before you can do those kinds of things. "Yeah it wasn't really a big deal." Spencer said vaguely.

It didn't seem as if she wanted to explain any further so I let the subject go for now. "Well I got to get to class, but maybe we'll have some other classes together. Maybe even start another food fight at lunch." I had to laugh at the last part of her sentence.

I really doubted she would want to get in that much trouble again on the first day. "I'm actually trying to stay away from food violence these days, but if you want to sit with me at lunch I wouldn't be opposed to that."

"Yeah that would be really nice actually. Wait for me by the pop machines if you get there before me. I gota run but I hope i'll see you later!" With that said she sprinted off to her next class. Little did she know, she would definitely be seeing me later. In three more of her classes actually. I was beginning to think I might actually enjoy coming to school this year.


	5. Ash and Aiden BFF Right?

**: Thanks I thought that it was a pretty neat way to let her know. In this story like the show Ashley has trouble expressing her feelings or thoughts with words, so she is going to find alternative ways to let Spencer and others know exactly how she was feeling.**

**Carmelsweetnezz99: Lol thanks! I get elephants around someone so I thought I'd put that in there! I'm glad I could start your day off well :) oh and thanks for calling me awesome ;) Gave me an ego boost!**

**Rainbowlover93: Well thank you! I hope you will continue to read and review. And most of all I hope you enjoy the story!**

**ClosetRomeo: Thank you for being my first reviewer! You have a special place in my heart now :)**

**Thanks to everyone who is reading and adding me to their favorite stories and story alerts! I appreciate it a lot! I hope you continue to enjoy and read this story! Im open to criticism and ideas! **

**But for now, I think I see trouble starting for Spencer and Ashley already! **

**I don't own.**

The whole way to my music class I couldn't keep the smile off of my face. That is until I ran into Madison. Don't get me wrong, we were friends...well not really, but we tolerated each other for Aidens sake.

Him being my best friend and her being his girlfriend forced us to be civil to one another.

"Sup bitch."

What? I said civil, in the Ashley Davies dictionary, civil means I don't knock your teeth out when you make me mad.

"Hey whore."

See, she reads my dictionary too!

"Hows the rash today? Healing yet?"

"Oh shut up Ashley I'm not in the mood."

"Whats your problem today? You were fine two hours ago outside when you and Aiden were tasting each others stomach acid." She and Aiden made out like lizards, it wasn't pleasant to be around.

"He is my problem. I broke up with him last hour and he wont stop sending me texts."

As much as I hated seeing their tongue duels, Madison made Aiden really happy and vice versa, or so I thought.

"What the hell? Why?"

"We're in high school now Ashley! That means I have more options than some freshman bench warmer."

Wow even I have to admit that was a bitch move, and my mother wrote the playbook on that shit. "Are you serious? You broke up with him, to go sleep around and get MORE diseases. Even for you Madison that is messed up."

I didn't wait around to hear her answer. Madison had been extra arrogant since she found out she made the cheer leading squad.

As I walked into my music class and found a chair in the front row I had an amazing thought. Now that Madison and Aiden weren't together anymore...I could punch her in the face when she got on my nerves! Oh the silver linings of life!

My music class went great! I found out that in two weeks we would have a show off night. We all had to participate in the group songs that we had to learn, but we could also perform on our own. We could sing a cover of a song or even play our own stuff if we had it. You know I had some original stuff, because I'm awesome like that. I couldn't wait to tell Aiden.

He had gym this period and it was right down the hall from the music room. When the bell rang I went and waited for him to get changed and showered. While I was waiting I decided to shoot some baskets. Well I was _trying _to shoot some baskets. The ball didn't make it high enough and hit the rim. It hit it with such force that it bounced right back at my face. Luckily I ducked in time.

When I looked back up the basketball was swishing in the goal in front of me. I turned around to see Aiden laughing from about half court. He may only be a freshman, but he was an amazing basketball player. I always went to his games to support him. His parents were like mine and weren't ever around much. So we were practically all the other had.

Like myself Aiden changed up his look a lot over the summer too. He was starting to settle into the look he would sport for the rest of his high school career. Jock. He had on a black American Eagle polo with some dark blue Holister jeans and black Nike shocks. It did make me laugh however, that even though he was dressing more like a jock, he was still wearing black.

"Nice shot dufas!" I said as I gave him a hug.

"Thanks midget." He put his arm around my neck and gave me a nuggie. I hated those! Just because he had gotten to six feet, he felt the need to make fun of my 5'2 frame. I elbowed him in the ribs effectively making him stop giving me a nuggie.

"If you would stop being an ass for five seconds, I had something I wanted to tell you!" This made him just roll his eyes and say, "I don't care how hot your teacher is Ash."

I was offended! Its not like all I wanted to talk about with him was hot girls. "Ha ha ha. No meat head I was going to tell you that in two weeks my music class is going to put on a concert. I'm going to perform some of my songs. I want you to be there!"

"That's awesome Ash, of course I'll be there." He was so supportive of everything I did no matter what it was. He was always there to help me and would never do anything to hurt me.

As we were walking out of the gym I stopped, which in turn made him stop too since we had since linked our arms and were walking together.

"Whats up?" He asked confused. I was so excited about my concert I completely forgot Madison broke up with him.

"I heard that walking infection broke up with you." Aiden took a deep breath and un hooked his arm from mine. "Yep, she did." His eyes were starting to glass over. Not knowing what else to do, I put my arms around his waste and gave him a hard hug.

"I'm so sorry Aiden." I felt more than heard him sigh as he returned my hug.  
>"Its alright Ash, I know you and her were practically best friends and I know you'll miss her." As soon as he said this I broke our hug and shoved his chest.<p>

"Yeah, you got me I'm real broken up about this for my own personal reasons." My best friend was laughing again and that's how I wanted to keep it. "So what class do you have next meat head?"

"Um, I think I have french. What about you?" "I have math, they are down the same hall way if you want to walk with me so I can tell you about this awesome girl I met!" I was walking backwards about to tell Aiden all about Spencer when I backed right into someone, falling right on top of them.

In an effort to see who I was hitting before I went down, I turned my body forward making me fall face to face on top of the person I ran into.

"Oh my gosh Ashley I'm so sorry! I didn't even see you there, are you okay?" The only thing I could see was blue eyes, but I could feel everything like my body was hyper sensitive. I could feel her breath on my lips that were just inches away from hers. I could feel her leg pressed deliciously in between mine, even if it was by accident.

I'm sure it was only seconds but it felt like hours that we lay there looking in each others eyes. The next thing I know I was being lifted off the girl by a strong pair of arms. "Sorry about her, she can be a little slow at times." That was my lovely best friend.

Once he put me down, after man handling me, he helped Spencer up. "Oh its okay, it was my fault too. Where are you guys headed?" I decided that if I stayed quiet any longer Spencer might really start to think I was slow.

"Uh, I'm going to math and the bohemian here is headed to french class." That got me a shove from my best friend and a laugh from my dream girl. "I'm going to french also, do you mind if I walk with you guys?"

"No we don't mind!" Came from both Aiden and I. I finally looked away from Spencer to look at Aiden. He had a goofy smile on his face and was ringing his hands together like he was nervous. There was a small twinge in my chest, but I wasn't sure why yet.

The three of us walked down the hallway with Spencer in the middle. Like in art class my hand would brush Spencers, and we would smile at each other. And every time we smiled at each other, Aiden thought of some random subject to bring up to talk with Spencer about.

The twinge in my chest was getting worse. We finally reached our classes, they were right across the hall from each other. "Well Ash, me and Spencer are gana get into class so we can get seats by each other, I'll see you at lunch!" Spencer didn't even have time to say anything as Aiden took her hand and took her to class. That twinge I talked about earlier, yeah its turned into a burn. I didn't think I was going to like coming to school this year anymore.


	6. So, do you have a boyfriend?

I couldn't tell you anything that happened during that class period. I was too preoccupied looking across the hall into the other class room. Spencer and Aiden had chosen the two seats closest to the door of the class.

In my own classroom I had decided to take the front chair of the middle row. I didn't know that both doors would remain open giving me a clear view of what was happening. Aiden talked to Spencer the entire class period. If it wasn't out loud it was by passing notes.

She seemed to be trying to pay attention but didn't want to be rude and ignore him. I had a bad feeling about this.

He made her laugh way too much.

Finally the class ended and I bolted out the door to meet my friends. Spencer was laughing at something Aiden had said when I stepped between them, making me be in the middle this time as we walked down the hall.

"What's so funny?" I asked, not really interested, but just wanted to make myself be known in the conversation.

"Aiden was telling me about the time you and him got caught going through your moms underwear draw."

"Eww! Aiden I told you I never wanted to relive those memories ever again! That took some major therapy to erase!" One day while my mom was out with one of her boy toys Aiden and I decided to explore my moms room. While we were looking through her draws we found a couple of porn dvd's. And if that wasn't bad enough my mom walked in and caught us reading the cover.

So as a punishment for snooping through her stuff, and aparently being too "sexual interested" at my age, she made us watch them with her. She only let it play for maybe a minuet, but still. It was probably one of the most disturbing, sick punishments I'd ever heard of. Still to this day I can't bring my self to even talk about porn, let alone watch it.

"Oh come on Ash it was hilarious! The look on your moms face was priceless when she asked you what you thought." Okay being the rebel child that I am, I didn't want my mom to know how much her punishment actually worked. So when she asked what I thought about it, I said that girl had nice boobs. I thought her eyes were gana pop out on the floor!

"Okay that was really funny, she didn't talk to me for two weeks after that!" Spencer seemed confused by that.

"Your mom didn't talk to you for two weeks? How did she not talk to you when you were in the same house and saw her every day?"

I was about to explain that my mother isn't ever home anyway. I didn't want Spencer to know about me being rich yet. I wanted her to get to know me with out all the other stuff, but someone beat me too it.

"Her mom is AWAL most of the time and Ashley's house is HUGE! Like, I got lost in there for twenty minuets just trying to find the bathroom."

"Well if you would have just listened to my directions you wouldn't have gotten lost. Honestly, how hard is go four doors down and take a right."

"I thought you said left, not right."

"Whatever. Anyways, yeah my mom isn't around a whole lot. Its nice though, most of the time its just me and the human compass there." Spencer seemed to find our little rant funny because she hadn't stopped smiling.

"Sounds like you two are pretty close." she said after a beat of silence. Aiden and I just looked at each other and smiled.

"Maybe you can come hang out with us today after school or something?" I said.

"Asssh I have practice after school!" Aiden pouted.

"Oh yeah I forgot that I was going to have to wait until you got out."

That caught Spencers attention. "Why do you have to wait for him?" I shrugged and said,

"His dad drives us to school in the mornings. So I'm going to have to watch him get sweaty and pat other guys on the ass for an hour and a half every day for the next 4 months." Aiden shoulder checked me for the ass patting comment.

"What happens in four months?" Spencer asked as we approached the cafeteria. "I finally get my permit! Even though I'm only supposed to drive with an adult in the car, my mom said it would be easier for her if she just got me a car and let me learn on my own."

The look on her face let me know that she wasn't used to parents not caring about their kids. It made me wonder what her home life was like. No one said much else until we got our food and sat down.

That was interesting. The table we chose had two chairs on one side and one chair on the other. I wanted to sit by Spencer. But apparently so did Aiden because he snuck in front of me and took the chair next to her. I was still standing when they both got seated. Spencer looked at Aiden as he plopped down next to her, then back at me.

She gave me a half smile like she knew I wanted to be next to her. I sat down and pushed my tray forward.

"Whats wrong Ash? Not hungry?" Aiden asked as he dug into his food. He knew that if I didn't eat, I was either upset, or not feeling well.

I didn't want him to know that I had feelings for Spencer when he clearly liked her too. I drew the short straw so to speak in this situation. I mean she was straight after all right? So why should I throw a hissy fit and make Aiden feel bad when he had just gotten his heart broken today.

Although I must say this was the fastest rebound I had ever seen.

"No, I just don't feel well. My stomach had been feeling funny all day." I wanted to smile because of the reason it had been feeling funny. I had elephants tangoing in there.

"Do you want me to walk with you to the nurse?" Spencer asked. She stood up and came over to my side of the table and felt my head. As soon as her hands touched my skin I remembered what it had felt like when she was under me when we fell earlier.

My cheeks immediately got hot, but it wasn't because I was sick. "You do feel a little warm. Come on I'll walk with you." She didn't even give me a chance to say no before she had my hand in hers and escorted me out of the cafeteria. Once we got outside she still had my hand in hers.

"You know I'm fine right? I don't really need to go to the nurse. I probably just got nauseous watching Aid turn into a human vacuum." That got her to laugh.

"I know you aren't really sick, I just needed to get some fresh air. Aiden is nice, but he is a little intense." She said while laughing. I had to laugh too. The boy had just met her not even two hours ago and already was following her like a puppy.

I understood exactly what he was going through though.

"Yeah he can be people illiterate sometimes, but he means well." I told her as we sat on a bench in front of the school. She still was holding my hand. I didn't want to ruin the moment and have her realize it and let go. But my thumb was aching to move across the back of her hand.

It looked so soft. And just like in art class, as soon as my eyes landed on our joined hands she let go. "Sorry I told you it was a habit." She mumbled out her apology. I don't know if it was the high from having her skin on mine, or if I was just feeling particularly brave, but I took her hand back in mine. This time I didn't hesitate to rub my thumb across her soft skin.

"It's okay, I don't mind. Its nice. Just feels natural, ya know?" I told her. She looked from our hands back up to me, before smiling and intertwining our fingers.

"Yeah. It does, doesn't it." We sat there looking at each other with goofy grins on our faces. Then her smile was gone, and she ripped her hand out of mine. I was still looking at her when I heard him.

"I thought you guys were going to the nurses office?" Aiden asked as he walked toward us. Spencer looked at me, then Aiden, then back at me. I didn't what had just happened, but she was panicking.

"I told her I didn't need a fucking nurse. I just had to get some air. I'm fine now." I said standing up.

"But I do have to figure out where my next class is." Before I could walk off Aiden stopped me.

"We have our next class together Ash, do you want me to walk with you?" He was looking at me with pleading eyes. I knew he wanted me to say no and that I could get there on my own. He wanted to be alone with Spencer more.

Even though I had no idea what had just happened between Spencer and I, she was straight. And Aiden was my best friend. I looked past Aiden to Spencer. When I made eye contact she averted her gaze. That was enough of an answer for me.

"No Aiden I'm not a two year old. I can find it by myself, I'll see you in a little bit." I tried making eye contact with Spencer one more time, "Bye Spencer." She didn't bother to look up from the ground and said "See ya."

I spun on my heels quickly in the other direction so Aiden wouldn't notice the confused hurt in my eyes. Before I got out of hearing range I heard Aiden ask the question that started everything.

"So...do you have a boyfriend?"


	7. The Hard Thing and The Right Thing

I didn't want to be there anymore. I didn't care if it was the first day of school. I just needed to get away. I was feeling so many emotions all at once and I didn't know what to do about them. I dug in my pocket for my cell phone texting the one person I needed to take my mind off this.

Carmen.

Carmen and I had met at a party over the summer. She and I could talk for hours about nothing. She wasn't bad to look at either. We had tried to hook up once but it just felt wrong so we were just friends that flirted a lot. A few minuets later I got her reply that said she would pick me up in front of the school in five.

When I left Spencer and Aiden I was walking so fast that I had now ended up on the opposite direction of the front of school as them. As promised five minuets later Carmen pulled up in her black mustang shelby gt 500.

It had chrome wheels and a red racing stripe down the middle. The windows were tinted far past the legal limit. Inside the car had custom made seats with race style seat belts. To top it all off she had a sound system that could be heard from a block away. It was a bad ass ride.

"Hey pretty girl, looking for some company?" she said as she revved her engine. It had a deep roar that was music to my ears. I loved fast cars.

"Yeah, you know of any hotties around here?" I said while sliding into the passengers seat and giving her a hug.

"As a matter a fact, about two feet to you left is one." She said while changing the song on her Ipod. I looked out her window past her.

"Where? I don't see her?" I asked just to mess with her.

"Shut up and put on your seat belt bitch." I giggled and did what she said. Carmen peeled out making her tires squeal as we flew past Spencer and Aiden.

They were still on the bench where I left them. Aiden knew Carmens car so he smiled and waved. She flipped him off in return and kept going. It wasn't that she didn't like Aiden, they actually hung out whenever I couldn't do anything or was busy.

Carmen was just, well Carmen.

"So mind telling me why I'm busting you out half way through the first day?" the raven haired girl asked me when we got to a stop light.

"Maybe when we get to your house. I need to have a chat with Mary Jane to get my thoughts together first."

She knew it had to be bad when I said that. I only smoked when I was at my breaking point. If your wondering how Carmen was able to come pick me up, its because she is eighteen and graduated last year. She only has classes at UCLA from eight to eleven.

About twenty minuets later we pulled up to her house. I unbuckled myself and exited the car, following my friend inside. She lived by herself so I didn't hesitate, and only gave Carmen a three second warning to cover her ears before I let out a frustrated scream in her living room.

"Much better." I sighed out after I had collected myself.

"Damn, if I had a glass cup in front of you, it totally would have broke." Carmen said when she uncovered her ears. We sat on her couch and I proceeded to tell her all about Spencer, and Aiden.

"Do you even know if anything happened between them yet?" She asked once I had said everything.

"No, I walked away before I heard something I didn't want too." I said putting my arm over my eyes. I had my head in her lap and she was running her fingers through my hair.

"Well maybe you should talk to Spencer before you run away from school and bust up my ear drums." Carmen said as she lifted me up. She has decided not to let me smoke, because she planned on taking me back to school.

"Now lets go. You can make it back in time for swimming." When I was reluctant to move she hoisted me up and threw me over her shoulder slapping my ass in the process. It was really getting annoying being shorter than every one else. I hope I grew by the time I was a senior or I was in for some major man handling.

Carmen pulled into the pools parking lot and cut her engine. "What are you doing?" I asked alarmed when she unbuckled her seat belt.

"I'm going to hang out with Coach Wigington while you swim, I was always her favorite." She said clearly excited to visit her old swim coach.

"I am not going in there if your going also, your bound to embarrass me somehow." I held on to my seat for emphasis.

Some how Carmen managed to get me out of her car, over her shoulder, slap my ass, and lock her car before carrying me inside.

"This is exactly the kind of thing I was talking about! Put me down right now!" I yelled as we entered the pool. "Oh hush your always so whiney. Its okay your little pouty lips are just ADORABLE!" She said the last word just to make me mad.

Before I could go on my rant about me not being adorable I was being tossed into a chair. "Look what I found Wig, a little lost fishy!" Carmen said to the older lady standing in her office. She wasn't the only one in the office either.

Guess who just saw me get man handled by a crazy person. You guessed it, Spencer. I had forgotten I asked to be in this class because she would be in it also.

"I see you didn't change at all Carmen, how are you?" The coach asked, giving Carmen a hug.

I guess she wasn't kidding about being her favorite. That made me fearful of what the other students acted like!

"I've been doing good, just thought I would stop by when I dropped Ashley back off at school."

Was she trying to get me suspended?

"Well I'm glad you found her, we were about to start. Spencer do you mind helping Ashley get caught up with all the safety rules and get her a suit please?" The older woman asked Spencer.

"And as for you," the coach turned back to me, " You will not be late again, even if it does mean I get to see my favorite former student. Understood?" All I could do was nod my head.

"Okay girls get going." She ushered us out the door and closed it leaving Carmen and her alone.

"She really likes her, doesn't she?" Spencer asked looking at the door.

"Yeah, I have absolutely no idea why. Maybe coach has a crush." I said laughing, making Spencer do the same.

"Maybe." She said looking at me. We held eye contact for a seconds before her smile was gone again. "Um, come on the changing room is this way." She said walking down the hall ahead of me.

All of the other kids were already in the pool splashing and goofing off since their coach was occupied. So that just left her and I alone to get changed. Once I had put my one piece practice suit on I walked out of the changing stall. Spencer emerged from hers seconds after with a towel around her body.

I went over to the mirror to put my hair up in a pony tail. As soon as I raised my arms above my head my back cracked. It felt nice so I decided to stretch a little. While I was stretching the rest of my back popped and I let out a satisfied moan and went back to doing my hair.

In the mirror I could see Spencers eyes wondering over my back side. I immediately broke out in goose bumps.

I turned around and looked at her. Her eyes had gotten a little bit darker. I slowly made a few steps toward her. I was right in front of her when she blurted out,

"I have a date with Aiden this weekend."

Well talk about a buzz kill.

I took half a step back. "Oh." Was all I could manage to get out.

"Yeah, he seems like a really nice guy. So I thought I would go out with him." She said looking away from me and crossing her arms across her chest.

I didn't know what to think. I was happy for Aiden, I really was. He was my best friend and he deserved to be happy.

At least that's what I had to keep telling myself.

"Good." I finally said. "He is a really great guy, and he has never done anything to hurt me."

Until now I thought to myself. I had to let this go. Spencer and Aiden were going to date. Me and Spencer were going to be...friends. Just friends.

I couldn't let either one of them know how much it really hurt me. "Well come on lets go get our coach before she and Carmen get into a heated make out session." She looked a mix between relieved and confused from my answer to the obvious tension that had built up between us.

And that is how the next two years of high school went. Spencer and Aiden stayed together from freshman to junior year. All the while I hid the ever growing love I had for my best friends girlfriend. That is until one day, I couldn't hide it anymore.

And apparently, neither could she.

**I hope you guys don't mind me jumping a head a little. There is a lot of the story in my head that I want to get too, but it doesn't happen for a little bit. Let me know if you want me to add a little more to when they were younger, or go ahead and post the next chapter I have written. If I get enough reviews I'll post the other chapter later tonight.**

**Thanks again for reading and reviewing! Keep it up :)**


	8. I See You All Over Me, In My Head

**Alright guys I was happy with my reviews so here is your reward :) Thanks again so much for the reviews and story alerts I appreciate all of them! Here is the next chapter. Get ready.**

**Two Years Later**

"_I think I like girls." Suddenly came from the girl next to me. I looked over at her. Her eyes were still closed. "Like, like?" I said back. Spencer rolled on her side, propping her head up with her hand, some how getting closer to my face. She reached out and grabbed my hand intertwining our fingers. "Yeah." She said after a moment. "I like girls."_

"ASHLEEEEEYYYYY!" My eyes shoot open from my dream. I hear someone running up the stairs towards my room. I throw my comforter off of me prepared to run from what I know is coming. But I wasn't fast enough.

"No, NO NONONONONONO NOOOO!"

I tried to move out of the way but it was too late.

Spencer jumped right as she was about to hit the foot of my bed. Next thing I know I'm being plowed back into my pillows by a hysterically laughing Spencer. She immediately straddles my waist and starts tickling me.

"Wake up Ash! Its time to rise and shiiiiine!" the girl on top of me says in a sing song voice.

I'm laughing so hard I start to snort, which in turn makes her laugh even harder. I finally manage to get both her hands and hold them above my head.

Now that I have her hands captive, she is barley five inches in front of my face. We are both breathing hard from laughing and wrestling. We are just silently looking in each others eyes.

These moments have been happening a lot lately. Spencer some how always ends up on top of me with me holding her hands above my head. This is usually the point where I push her off and we act like nothing happened.

But today I can't.

Today I start running my hands up her arms until they are around her neck. My finger nails slowly scratch at the base of her hair line. Its when her eyes get a darker shade of blue that my breathing becomes heavy for another reason.

I know I shouldn't be doing this.

I know I shouldn't but I can't help it anymore.

She leans down further into my body letting her chest lay on mine. I can feel her heart beating. Its going about as fast as mine.

She needs to move.

She needs to get off of me or I'm not going to be able to stop myself from kissing her.

When she shifts so her leg in between mine, my hands loosely grip themselves in her hair. This was not a good move on my part.

All that does is make her press her thigh harder into me. I had very little clothing as a barrier between us. My breath hitched in my throat. I don't know if it is a blessing or a curse when we both hear Aidens voice from down stairs as he runs into the house slamming the front door.

"Spencer, I told you I wanted to jump on her this time!" clearly frustrated that she arrived before him.

Spencers eyes get wide but she remains on top of me while we hear Aiden running up the stairs. I can't have him find us like this. I don't even know what just happened. I push Spencer off of me onto the floor about five seconds before Aiden comes jogging in the door.

I pull my comforter back over me to cover my body. I wasn't wearing anything but a half shirt and underwear to sleep in.

"Aw man, you already woke her up." It was four in the afternoon, I had gone out to Grey last night with Carmen. We both drank to much and stayed up waay to late.

Aiden walks over to his girlfriend and helps her off the floor and pulls her into a kiss. I can't see that right now.

"Alright ass holes get out of my room, I'm awake now leave me alone." I say in a hiss.

Spencer starts to make her way to the door but Aiden stays put just smiling at me.

"What meat head?" I ask him annoyed.

"How do I know your really going to get up?" He says crossing his arms.

I swear he does this only to show off his stupid biceps and peck muscles. He has gotten a lot more muscles from begin the starting shooting guard on our basketball team at school. Spencer has stopped her advance towards the door and is now smiling at her boyfriend. I know the perfect way to get him to leave.

"Unless you want to see me with out pants on you better get out in 5, 4, 3..."

By four he was already out the door. Spencer wasn't running out of the room, but she wasn't leaving either.

"Hey, uh, that goes for you too missy. No free show. Scoot your boot." I tell her waving my hand shoo-ing her out.

That made her snap out of whatever daze she was in. She smiled and rolled her eyes as she was leaving. As soon as she shut the door I flopped back on my bed. What the hell just happened? I grab my pillow and put it over my mouth screaming. I decide I long hot shower will help clear my head.

When I get out of the bathroom I text Carmen.

_It happened again-Ash_

I had been telling Carmen about what had been happening with Spencer the last couple of weeks.

She said not to talk about it and see what happened. She was going to shit when I told her this. Its not that I wanted to put Spencer and I's business out there, but I needed some serious help with this.

I didn't know what to think. And her advice seemed to be working. Don't talk about it, and things keep getting more intense. I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing.

_N E thing new? Or just the same stare down- Carm_

I proceeded to tell her in detail what happened while I was getting dressed. A few seconds after I sent the last text my phone starts ringing.

"Hey Carm." I say and immediately hold the phone away from my ear because I know whats coming.

"_HOLY FUCKING SANTA CLAUSE SHIT! SHE WANTS TO FUCK YOU!" _ She screams into the phone.

"That's a new one. So what do I do? She is still..." I lower my voice. "...Aidens girlfriend."

"_And he is your best friend and blah blah family blah blah blah. You were in love with Spencer first. And no matter what you say you know she has feelings for you. You need to talk to her. Pronto."_

After she says this Carmen hangs up the phone. I was used to never knowing when she was done talking. I tried to do the same thing once. She came over to my house and carried me around over her shoulder for an hour saying 'Hang up on me now bitch!'

And just in case your wondering, I am no longer 5'2! I am officially 5'5 bitches! Yes I finally grew. The only bad thing is, so did everyone else. So I'm still short.

Other things that have changed, would be my style, yet again.

For instance, right now I'm wearing a white vest with a red bra underneath. I have on short white shorts and red heels.

I look hot, I know.

I have some amazing abs from sticking with swimming these past two years.

I was just putting the finishing touches on my make up when someone knocked on the door.

"Come in." I said not looking to see who it was.

When I hear the door close and lock behind me I turn around. It was Spencer.

She was standing with her back against my door. Her eyes were inspecting every inch of me starting from my toes to my eyes.

Once she looked in my eyes, the elephants did their thing dancing away.

I know what your thinking, yes I still get elephants around this girl. I have even named them since they make an appearance so often.

Their names are George and Herbet. Sorry I digress!

Neither one of us moved for a while. We just stood there starting at each other.

"Where is Aiden?" I asked once I snapped out of my daze.

I turned back around to continue putting on my make up. Spencer didn't say anything, she just came closer and stood behind me. I turned back around too look at her I noticed how close she was.

"He left."

Is all she said to my earlier question. I know Carmen said I should talk to her about what happened, but I didn't know if I was ready yet.

"Where did he go?" I asked turning around to finish my make up again.

I was just going to treat this like all the other times.

Act like nothing happened.

She seemed to know I wasn't going to talk about, what ever that was.

"I don't know, probably to hang out with my brother."

Aiden and Glen were always together. If Aiden wasn't with Spencer or me, he was with Glen.

"I swear they are having an affair behind your back Spence. No two boys should hang out that much. They even finish each others sentences." I said applying my lip gloss.

Spencer had taken her usual spot in the middle of my bed with her legs crossed indian stlye.

"Probably. They are the definition of bromance." She said laughing.

Just then her phone started playing Kiss Me Through The Phone. Aiden decided it should be his ring tone on her phone.

I roll my eyes and walk into my closet and shut the door. I didn't feel like hearing the 'aww I miss you too, no you hang up first, no you, blah, blah blah blah blah, blah!'

I just couldn't put on a fake smile after what happened this morning.

After a few minuets I decided it was safe to come back out. When I open my closet door, Spencer is laying on my bed with her arms behind her head.

"What took you so long?" She asked sitting up.

"I was deciding on if I wanted to change or not." I said to her while looking at myself in the mirror. "I chose not too."

"Good. You look great in that."

I got a goofy grin on my face and told her thanks. "So what did Aiden want?"

"He wanted to ask if he could stay with Glen tonight. I think you were right about that affair." the blonde quipped.

"So what are you going to do tonight? You can always stay here with me. It is Saturday night. We could go to Ego if you wanted."

I knew with the weirdness this morning she would probably say no.

"Yeah I would love that, thanks Ash."

Then again maybe not!

"Alright sounds good. Do you want to go back to your house before we go? If not you can always borrow some of mine."

I loved it when Spencer wore my clothes. I thought it was so hot for some reason.

"I think I'll borrow that black skirt and white halter top you wore to the dance last week if, thats okay with you?"

"Yeah that's totally fine. I'll be downstairs. Do you want to go out to eat before we go? We have a few hours to kill."

"Yes! I'm starving!" Spencer said as she folded her arms over her stomach like she hadn't eaten in days.

I had to laugh. Spencer was always hungry, and she could put away some food!

I never knew where it all went though, she was the same size as me, but ate everything she could get her hands on!

Once she had changed and redone her make up and hair she met me in the living room. As soon as I saw her my mouth dropped. She. Looked. HOT! This is why I liked her to wear my clothes. The mini skirt she was wearing cut off barley below her ass. The heels she had on made her thigh and calf muscles be far more pronounced. She had on a white halter top that showed a good amount of cleavage and the middle of her black bra. My eyes raked over her body more than once, I knew she saw me looking but I didn't care.

"Do I look alright?" She asked spinning around.

"You look amazing Spencer." I still couldn't stop staring.

"Thanks." She said smiling and blushing slightly. "Lets go" She grabbed my hand and led me out the door to my car.

Remember my love for Carmens car. Well it doesn't have shit on my baby.

I had a 2011 black Audi R8. It could go from 0 to 60 in 3.7 seconds and had a tops speed of 196. Google the car. Do it. You'll want one too.

"Can I drive Ash pleeeeeeease! I promise I'll be careful this time!" Spencer clasped her hands together and pouted at me.

The last time I let Spencer drive my baby, it had to be in the car doctor for a week.

It's a stick shift.

She doesn't know how to drive a stick shift.

I had to get a new transmission.

"No." Was all I said before getting in.

"Fine." She huffed as she slid in beside me.

"Aww don't pout. I'll let you play with the radio if you want too." I said to her. Her pouty face was so cute I couldn't let her wear it for too long with out kissing it off.

"Really!" She squealed.

Her face looked like I told her I was giving her a million dollars. There were two things I never aloud Spencer to do in my car.

One, be in the drivers seat.

Two touch the radio.

It wasn't that I was one of those people that had it set in their mind, since it was my car, I choose the music.

That wasn't the problem. The radio was touch screen. Lets just say through a series of events, the screen got cracked and I had to make another trip to the car doctor.

"Yes really, but you have to PROMISE to be gentle." I said holding my pinky out for her to take. Spencer got a serious look on her face as she took my pinky with hers.

"I promise I will not hurt Kevin anymore." she said in a sincere tone.

Oh did I forget to mention she named my car Kevin? I don't even want to get into that right now. I mean really? Couldn't she have picked a cool foreign name or something?

Anyways, after we eat and go shop for a little bit we arrive at Ego. The club is really packed tonight, there is hardly any open space on the dance floor. Looks like it'll be great for close dancing.

Spencer tells me she is going to find a table and asks me to grab drinks. When I finally find her again she is talking to a boy from our school.

Partrick.

He was so annoying. He thought he was gods gift to women and had his sights set on Spencer.

"Hey Ashley, your looking very sexy tonight."

Eww. "Thanks." I said trying to hold back the bile rising in my throat.

"Spencer do you want to dance?" He asked holding his hand out to her.

She looked from him to me. "Uh sure, for one song. You okay here Ash?" She asked taking his hand and standing up.

"Sure." I mumbled and downed my drink.

As I watched them dance I downed Spencers drink too. I had a pretty good buzz going. I watched as Spencer was laughing and dancing with Patrick. He was getting a little to handsy with her. I didn't like that too much. As I was making my way towards them, the perfect song came on. I got to them while the intro was still playing. "Spencer." I said over the music.

_Jasoon Deruloooo_

"Your dancing with me." I said pulling her far away from Patrick and into my front as the first chorus started. We instantly moved to the music as I sang in her ear.

_Everybody's looking for love. Oh. Oh.  
>Ain't that the reason you're at this club. Oh. Oh.<br>You ain't gonna find it dancing with him. No. Oh.  
>I got a better solution for you girl. Oh. Oh.<em>

By this point she had her head leaned back against my should so my lips were brushing her ear as I sang the next part meaningfully in her ear.

_Just leave with me now. Say the word and we'll go.  
>I'll be your teacher. I'll show you the ropes.<br>You'll see a side of love you've never known.  
>I can see it going down, going down.<em>

Spencer then turned around and put her thigh between mine and threw her arms around my neck drawing my closer. I kept singing directly to her, looking her in the eyes.

_In my head, I see you all over me.  
>In my head, you fulfill my fantasy.<br>You'll be screaming out.  
>In my head, it's going down.<br>In my head, it's going down.  
>In my head. Yeah. In my head. Oh yeah.<em>

Spencer pulled me close and sang the next part right below my ear against my neck.

_Some dudes know all the right things to say.  
>When it comes down to it, it's all just game.<br>Instead of talking let me demonstrate. Yeah._

As she sang that line she bit my neck and turned around. She bent low and grinded on me from my shins all the way up to my front again and looked over her shoulder to look at me while she sang the next line._  
>Get down to business and skip foreplay.<em>

I put my arms around her waist and held her even tighter against me. I took back over singing the next part.

_Just leave with me now. Say the word and we'll go.  
>I'll be your teacher. I'll show you the ropes.<br>You'll see a side of love you've never known.  
>I can see it going down, going down.<em>

I started running my hands down her bare thighs and grazed her ear lob with my teeth. I felt more than heard her moan vibrate through her back that was pressed against my chest.

_In my head, I see you all over me.  
>In my head, you fulfill my fantasy.<br>You'll be screaming out.  
>In my head, it's going down.<br>In my head, it's going down._  
><em>In my head. <em>

We kept dancing to the song. She was driving me crazy. I needed to see her eyes again so I spun her around and slid my leg between hers. I could feel how warm her center was. I'm sure mine felt the exact same way.

When she sang the next part a breath away from my lips I thought I was done for_  
>Your singing to me baby in my head right now.<em>

_She'll be screaming out when it all goes down._

I put my hands in her hair and pulled her forehead to mine. We were mere milometers from our lips touching but neither one of us was about to cross the line.

_Just leave with me now, Say the word and we'll go. We can go.  
>I'll be your teacher. I'll show you the ropes.<em>

_You'll see a side of love you've never known.  
>I can see it going down, going down.<br>_

My hands roamed down her back and squeezed her ass pulling her impossibly closer and harder into me. I heard her try to hold back a moan and it only made me grind into her harder. Our breathing was heavy and a light layer of sweat was coming from both of our worked up bodies.

__

_In my head, I see you all over me.  
>In my head, you fulfill my fantasy.<br>You'll be screaming out.  
>In my head, it's going down.<em> 

As the song ended and another started we stopped moving.

We didn't pull apart right away.

I think both of us knew that as soon as we moved the reality of what just happened between us would set in. This time it was far to big to ignore.

My hands were no longer on her ass, but her lower back, still holding her against me. We were cheek to cheek so I couldn't see her face. But I heard her breathing get faster and her body start to tense as it was all setting in. Not wanting to deal with what was about to happen next I gripped my hands around her shirt and whispered in her ear.

"Don't go yet. Please."

I knew we couldn't stay like this for long. We were in the middle of a crowded dance floor. If two people were standing still for too long it was bound to draw some kind of attention.

She buried her head in my neck. I felt her breath hit my neck as she sighed and hugged me. I fought the feeling that it was a goodbye hug and something bad was about to happen between us.

My feeling was confirmed when I felt her give a final squeeze and take off through the crowd without even looking at me. I was so stunned at how cold my body felt with out her in my arms that I couldn't even go after her at first. I watched her get half way through the crowd before my brain kick started and my feet were scrambling towards the exit.

I caught up with her out side. She was standing by the curb trying to get a taxi.

"Spencer!" I shouted as I jogged over to her. Thats right people. I was jogging...in heels.

As soon as she turned and saw me coming she started walking in the other direction down the sidewalk.

"Spencer wait! At least let me drive you home! Its dangerous out here. Please just stop for a second!"

I could feel my heart breaking slowly and painfully in my chest. This wasn't supposed to happen. Carmen said she had feelings for me too. Why was she running like this.

She finally stopped. She was still facing away from me.

"Spence, just let me take you home." It was a quiet request. And as much as I hated to admit it, it even sounded like a final request as it left my lips.

When she finally faced me she had tears running down her face. It broke my heart to see her crying. Especially knowing that I made her cry, even if I didn't know exactly what I did. I knew it was my fault.

"Come on." I said as I held my hand out for her to take.

She didn't take my hand, but she did follow me into my car. She was still crying when we got inside. I reached for my glove box in front of her to grab her a tissue. As I was leaning over I saw her shrink away from me as if she was afraid to touch me.

She saw that I noticed when she took the tissue from my hand when I was back on my side of the car. I had tears welling up in my eyes at this point. Spencer seemed to want to say something, but the words weren't coming out of her mouth as she was opening it and closing it again and again.

I couldn't look away as I waited for whatever it was she was trying to say to come out. The beautiful crying girl in front of me finally gave up and looked out the window.

I felt the tears start to spill down my cheeks as I started my car and pulled away from the club. We didn't say anything the whole way to her house. There wasn't even music on. The only sound that could be heard was the sniffling of us both.

I was trying so hard to think of anything to say to get her to stay once we pulled in her drive way. Before I even put the car in park she was undoing her seat belt.

I threw the car in park and grabbed her hand before she could get out. I heard her let out a sigh and hang her head.

"I can't do this Ashley." She said it so quiet I wasn't sure if I had heard her correctly.

"What?" was my croaked reply. My voice always got so raspy when I cried.

"I _can't _ do this." she repeated with more emphasis on can't. She still hadn't looked at me.

I could always read her eyes and she knew it. That's why she was hiding them from me right now.

"We aren't doing anything wrong Spencer." I tried to plead with her.

"Yes we are!" She said more frantic.

I was starting to panic and get angry.

"According to who!" I raised my voice a little bit. That got her to look at me.

"Aiden!" She yelled back in my face.

That made my stomach drop and my chest feel heavy. She had a point, she was my best friends girlfriend of almost two years. Spencer started crying harder.

"I tried so hard to fight this Ash. I have felt it from the first day we met." She help up our still combined hands as an example. "Like you said, it just felt natural."

My tears were coming down as hard as hers now. I was looking down at our hands. When I didn't say anything she continued.

"I was so scared of how you made me feel, so I went out with Aiden. He has been so great, and for a while he helped me ignore how you made me feel, and become one of my best friends. I love him."

My throat closed up at the last of her sentence, until she continued.

"But I'm not in love with him." My brown eyes snapped onto her blue ones.

"I can't make myself feel that way for him, he's not you." I couldn't say anything.

She was telling me that everything I ever wanted was happening, but I couldn't have it.

"I'm sorry Ash, but I can't do this to him." She took her hand from mine and turned to get out of the car.

"Wait!" I said grabbing her hand again.

I intertwined our fingers and rubbed my thumb on the back of her hand like I had done the first day we met.

My dream girl let out a shaky breath and tightened her grip in mine. I knew what I had to say.

"Spencer" I said in barley a whisper. She looked at me with an unreadable expression. "Yeah Ash?" Finally i was going to tell her, I knew it had to be now or never. "I...I think...I know, I'm in love with you.."

**Don't hate me for leaving it at that. Its a just a motivator to get you to review :) The more you review the faster I post the next chapter!**

**Songs used: Jason Derulo-In my head.**


	9. Perfect For Now

**I didn't want to make you guys wait too long since you were so awesome about reviewing. :) If I get enough reviews for this chapter I'll post another one tonight. Enjoy! :)**

_"Spencer" I said in barley a whisper. She looked at me with an unreadable expression. "Yeah Ash?" Finally i was going to tell her, I knew it had to be now or never. "I...I think...I know, I'm in love with you.." _

It had been five minuets and forty five seconds since that sentence left my mouth.

Spencer was staring at me.

Her mouth was slightly open, eyes wide, not saying anything.

My thumb was still rubbing the back of her hand, that was still interlocked with mine.

I don't know if Spencer already knew how I felt about her or not. I had tried not to let it show to anyone. I even went out and hooked up with random girls. Judging by the look on her face, she had no idea.

"When." comes out of the blondes mouth with out warning.

"When what?" I ask softly.

"When did you know you were... in love with me."

I didn't know if I should tell her the truth. Enough was already said that I guess honesty couldn't hurt. A smile spread across my face as I remembered our food fight.

"The second you hit Mr. Martin in the head with your cookie." I said with a smile I couldn't fight. I had never really thought about the exact moment, so it never occurred to me, that I really was in love with her, from the moment I saw her. Spencer smiled at the memory.

"You were so scary back then." She laughed. I couldn't help but laugh too.

"I know, I still hide those pictures from myself. Aiden tries too..." I trail off after reality comes back into the picture with the mention of my best friends name. I take my hand from hers and look out the window.

"This sucks." my voice cracks as my emotions start to get the better of me.

"I know." She whispers.

No she didn't.

She didn't know. She wasn't the one who had been longing for a girl who she couldn't have. A girl she had to watch her best friend be in love with, and pretend to be happy about it!

I start to get angry.

"You said you don't love him." I say turning back to her.

Spencer just nods.

"Then break up with him." I say like its the most obvious thing in the world.

"I can't Ash. I _can't _be gay." the girl in front of me says shaking her head side to side.

I knew I needed to be calm right now or I was going to say something that I would regret.

"Listen," I started softly. "I know your afraid to feel these things. I know your scared of how your parents will react, but don't you owe it to yourself to be happy and in love for real? Doesn't Aiden deserve that?."

She is crying again.

"I'm not saying dump Aiden and then be with me. But at least give yourself a chance to figure out who you are, with out having to worry about keeping up an appearance and lying to him. If he is really your best friend, you should want him to have the chance to find real love." When I finished my little speech, I waited for her to take in my words.

"I can't break up with him for no reason." She said after a few minuets. "I need to wait for the right time to do it."

I nodded to her answer. "Just try and find a good time soon Spence. The longer you wait, the worse its going to get."

Spencer sighed and leaned her head back into the seat. She turned her head to look at her house. I already knew what she was thinking. Aiden was in there.

"Look, I know some heavy stuff just happened, but if you still want to, you can stay with me. I do have a million rooms for you to choose from, and your favorite rubber ducky pj shorts." I said trying to lighten the mood.

She laughed thinking about the ducky shorts. She went through a phase sophomore year, where everything had to be rubber ducks. Her bathroom, her locker, her folders. Everything. When I got my car, she bought me one that would hang from my review mirror.

I looked up to find it still in place. Even after her phase ended, I wanted to keep around the little memento to remind me of her. It probably would have worked, if she wasn't on my mind all the time anyway.

"Ducky pj's sound nice right now." my dream girl said facing me again.

I smiled and put the car in reverse. "Put your seat belt on." I reminded her as we got onto the road.

Once we were back at my house I told Spencer she could go take a bubble bath in my room and I would be downstairs when she got out. I grabbed my own pj's and changed in the guest bathroom. I washed my face getting rid of my make up and headed downstairs to wait for her. Half an hour later she came down to join me.

As soon as she walked in the room I smiled at her. She smiled shyly back at me but stayed put. She was rocking on her heels like she was trying to decide if she should do something or not.

"Come sit down Spence." I say patting the spot next to me on the couch.

She stays standing for a bit longer before she sighs and makes her way towards me. I was expecting her to sit on the other side of the couch.

But she didn't.

She came and sat down right next to me. She then moved my arm to the back of the couch and settled to where her head was between my chest and my shoulder. Spencer draped her arm around my waist and put her legs on the couch so she was leaning into me. I was so shocked that I didn't move.

My arm was still on the back of the couch. I was barley breathing, afraid that too much movement would frighten her away from me. I heard her let out a content sigh and tighten her grip on my waist.

"Your hearts beating really fast." She points out.

"I, uh...I'm nervous." I manage to get out with some difficulty.

Spencer chuckles at this. "You? Miss Ashley, "the player", Davies is nervous cuddling on a couch? You've been with lots of girls, doing a lot more than this I'm sure." She doesn't say it as anything more than a joke.

"So why are you nervous?" She asked looking up into my eyes.

I don't hesitate in my reply, "Because none of them were you. I was never in love with them."

My answer causes her to break out in a heart warming smile. I can't help myself. I lean in and press my lips to her forehead. I hold them there for a few seconds before pulling away.

I look into her eyes and she is still smiling, even bigger now.

"I've always wanted to do that." I confess in a whisper. She settles back into my shoulder.

"I've always wanted you too." I hear her say once she is comfortable again.

I giggle and let out a sigh at how almost perfect this feels. I can't seem to place whats missing.

I soon realize what it is when Spencer blindly reaches behind her and brings my arm around her waist, effectively making me hold her. She then reaches out and takes the hand that isn't around her body and laces our fingers together.

"Perfect." she says rubbing her thumb on the back of my hand.

"Yeah, it is." I say and hold her tighter.

We stay like that until we fall asleep. It was perfect. This moment with Spencer was the definition of perfect.

But nothing is really perfect. Soon we would have to wake up and continue living a lie. Hiding our feelings and pretending not to care. But I didn't want to think about that. Instead I had a perfect dream, where my perfect girl and I were together. Nothing is perfect, but a girl can dream right?


	10. She's My Kind of Crazy

You know the point when your coming out of sleep but it still feels like your dreaming? That's how I feel right now for two reasons. I had a dream last night that Spencer and I were together, and had been since 8th grade. There was no Aiden to keep us apart, or a crazy psycho Paula to make her daughter repress who she was for so long.

It was an amazing dream. And I thought I was still dreaming. I slowly opened my eyes to a head of blonde hair. We were still on the couch but instead of siting, we were laying down. Spencer was on top of me, her head resting just under my chin. My arms were around her waist holding her sleeping form. I take a deep breath breathing in her smell. It isn't something you could buy from a store. Its just, Spencer.

"I was wondering when you were going to wake up." Spencer says making me jump.

She laughs at this. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." She says sheepishly while getting off of me.

"It's okay, I just thought I was still dreaming." I tell her while rubbing the sleep from my eyes and sitting up with her.

"You had a dream about me?" She asks while yawning. I laugh because I understood what she said through her yawn.

"Yeah I did. I have dreams about you frequently." I guess the honesty thing needs sometime to wear off.

"Oh realllly?" She says scooting closer. "What kinda dreams?" Spencer wiggled her eyebrows.

"Spencer Carlin! Are you implying I have a dirty mind?" I ask feigning hurt.

"Well I thought it was only when you were awake but I guess it's when your asleep too!" The blonde girl said earning a pillow to the face from me. "Hey!" She shouted coming after me with her own pillow.

Before she could hit me I ducked and took off running. As I was going around the corner into the kitchen Spencer threw her pillow at my feet making me fall.

I guess Spencer didn't know she managed to trip me, because seconds later she came barreling around the corner tripping and falling on top of me.

"First you trip me, then attack me? That's it your done for!" I yell as Spencer tries to scramble away from me.

I catch her by her ankle and work my way up her body. I hold both her hands above her head with one hand tickling her with the other.

"Ashleeeey! Sttooppp!" Spencer squealed out wiggling around on the floor.

I used my body to hold her down. "Hell no! This is pay back!" I said laughing at her giggling pleas for mercy.

She finally gets her hands free and grab mine holding them above her head. Well this seems familiar. Only this time I'm the one on top of her. I think she realizes it about the same time as I do. She mirrors my actions of the previous day, trailing her hands up my arms and into my hair, massaging my scalp lightly. My eyes flutter closed at the sensation.

"Ash." I hear Spencer whisper.

I open my eyes to find myself staring into hers. She is leaning up towards my face. When I don't move she starts pulling me towards her by my neck. This was it. I was finally going to kiss Spencer Carlin. I close my eyes and start to move towards her.

"Spencer! Ashley! Where are you guys? I've been calling your phones all morning.!"

Aiden.

I have never been more irritated with him than I am now.

I jump off of Spencer faster than...well something really fast! I help Spencer off the floor and walk around to the fridge pretending to look for something to eat.

"There you guys are." He says coming into the kitchen.

"Hey meat head." I say not looking at him.

"Hey Ash. Hello baby!" He says pulling my dream girl into his arms and kissing her deeply.

"Can you not stick your tongue down her throat while I'm in the room!" I yell slamming the fridge door shut.

"Oh Ashley stop being cranky, just because your nervous about today." My best friend said wrapping his arms around his girlfriend from behind. "Whats today?" The blonde girl asked looking from me to Aiden.

"Yeah what the hell are you talking about?" I said just as confused.

"You know..." When I didn't anything, he continued. "Your playing at Grey today!" He said annoyed.

"Oh shit! I completely forgot about that! I have to go get ready, what time is it?" I said running out of the room and upstairs. With everything that happened yesterday I totally spaced about me playing at Grey today. After another few hours I was ready to go. I walked out of my bathroom to find a note on my bed.

_Ash,_

_Aiden and I went back to my house so I could get changed. I can't wait to see you play. You'll be perfect :) _

_Love Spence._

I was so excited walking in the club. It was packed. At least 70 people were crammed into the small room. I had come here three days ago to practice a few songs.

I was glad Spencer was going to be here, I had written them about her. Of course she didn't know that.

"Hey Ash! Oh my gosh this is so cool! I've never been back stage before!" I felt Spencer slip her arms around me and give me a hug.

I was too busy looking at the crowd. I was nervous.

"Look Ash I'm a rockstar!" I turned around to see Spencer dancing around.

I had to laugh at the silly look on her face. She had her eyes squeezed shut with her tongue out. She had done this before a couple months ago.

It actually inspired one of the songs I was going to sing tonight.

"You look awesome Spence. Now please put my baby down!" She giggle and set down my dads first guitar.

"Sorry, its just so fun!"

"Five minuets Ashley and your on." The stage manager came over and said to me.

"Ohh this is so exciting! I'm going too go sit down, I have a seat in the front row. Good luck!" She kissed me on the cheek and ran out front. I pulled my hand up and touched my cheek where her lips had just been. I'm not nervous anymore. Now if only I could stop smiling like an idiot!

"Next up ladies and gentlemen, Ashley Davies!"

Thats my cue. I walk on the stage to see Spencer and Aiden standing up in the front row screaming their heads off. I walk up to the microphone and began my performance.

"Thank you guys, thanks very much! The first song I'm going to play for you tonight is called She's My Kind of Crazy. I had someone really great inspire me to write this song and I hope they enjoy it."

With that I grabbed my acoustic guitar and stared the song.

_She says  
>"Hey look I'm a rock star"<br>Grabs my old guitar  
>Playin' it upside down<br>Dancin' around  
>In front of the tv<em>

I look at Spencer and see the look of realization on her face. She knows this is a song about her.

_I can't see the movie  
>So I just wave my lighter and say<br>Yeah, rock on baby  
>I'd rather watch you anyway<em>

_But when you're done  
>Can I come backstage<br>And get you to sign your name  
><em>_On that zeppelin shirt of mine you're wearin'  
>I'll never wash that thing again<em>

_Yeah and she's my kinda crazy  
>The little games she plays<br>Lord they'll never get old  
>She's too cute to get on my last nerve<br>The way she throws her little fits_

_Pokin' out her lip  
>There ain't a fight that she can't win<br>That's my baby  
>And she's my kinda crazy<em>

_You ought to see her when I pick her up  
>She's gotta have that radio up<br>Bless her heart, she can't sit still  
>Head in my lap, bare feet on the windshield<br>Says, C'mon please let me drive_

_Now honey it's a stick shift  
>Remember what you did last time<br>Oh..._

_She never let's me rest  
><em>_She keeps me up all night  
>Known to roll me off the bed<br>And steal the covers off my side_

_But I hear, "Wake up sleepy head"  
>And I open up my eyes<br>And it's all worth the while_

_That's my baby  
>And she's my kinda crazy<em>

The crowd erupted with applause. It was truly humbling. I looked in the front at Spencer and Aiden. My best friend had his fingers in his mouth whistling like their was no tomorrow. I looked next to him to Spencer. She had tears in her eyes and was clapping and hollering.

"Thank you! Wow I've never played in front of this many people before! You guys are awesome. We have one more song to play before the next band comes out. I just recently wrote this song. Some things have been happening in my life and I feel like this song sums it up pretty well. This is Think Twice."

I trade my acoustic for my electric guitar and start strumming the intro. I can't help but watch Spencer while I sing the first chorus.

___When all is said and done  
><em>_And dead does he love you  
>The way that I do<br>Breathing in lightning  
>Tonight's for fighting<br>I feel the hurt so physical_

_Think twice before you touch my girl  
>Come around I'll let you feel the burn<br>Think twice before you touch my girl  
>Come around come around no more<br>Think twice before you touch my girl  
>Come around I'll let you feel the burn<br>Think twice before you touch my girl  
>Come around no more<em>

The crowd was really getting into it. Everyone was up on their feet with their hands in the air.__

_She spreads her love  
>She burns me up<br>I can't let go  
>I can't get out<br>I've said enough  
>Enough by now<br>I can't let go  
>I can't get out<em>

I turned from the ecstatic crowd to look back at the girl of my dreams.__

_Wait till the day you finally see  
>I've been here waiting patiently<br>Crossing my fingers and my t's  
>She cried on my shoulder begging please<em>

_Think twice before you touch my girl  
>Come around I'll let you feel the burn<br>Think twice before you touch my girl  
>Come around come around no more<br>Think twice before you touch my girl  
>Come around I'll let you feel the burn<br>Think twice before you touch my girl  
>Come around no more<em>

_She spreads her love  
>She burns me up<br>I can't let go  
>I can't get out<br>I've said enough  
>Enough by now<br>I can't let go  
>I can't get out<em>

_What is it you really want  
>I'm tired of asking<br>You're gone I'm wasted_

My eyes drift from Spencer to Aiden.

__

_When I showed up and he was there  
>I tried my best to grin and bear<br>And took the stairs but didn't stop at the street  
>And as we speak I'm going down<em>

_Cause she spread her love  
>And burnt me up<br>I can't let go  
>I can't get out<br>I've said enough  
>Enough by now<br>I can't let go  
>I can't get out<em>

_Think twice before you touch my girl  
>Come around I'll let you feel the burn<br>Think twice before you touch my girl  
><em>_Come around come around no more  
>Think twice before you touch my girl<br>Come around I'll let you feel the burn  
>Think twice before you touch my girl<br>Come around no more _

I get a little to end to my song and slam my guitar down on the stage. The crowd goes nuts! It wasn't an expensive guitar so I'm not to worried about it.

I look down to the front row to see Spencer and Aiden going just as crazy as the rest of them. "Goodnight everybody!" I yell in the mic. I've always wanted to say that!

After the show the three of us headed out to eat at our favorite restaurant, Eddies. Aiden and I walk to the table first and take our seats on opposite sides of the table. Spencer hesitates for a second before sliding next to me in the booth. My best friend gave his girlfriend a confused look.

"What are you doing over there?" He asked a little irritated.

"It's Ashley's big night. She gets all my attention tonight." My dream girl answers sticking her tongue out at her boyfriend.

As we are looking over the menus I feel her hand slide onto my thigh. My knee jerks up into the table almost knocking our drinks over.

"What the hell Ashley?" the dark haired boy asked me. "I..Uh...Felt something crawl on my foot?" I said as more of a question. Aiden just shook his head and went back to reading. Spencer was laughing next to me when I shot her a dirty look. I went back to looking at my menu. The waitress came over to take our order a few minuets later.

"Hey guys welcome to..Oh my gosh Ashley hi!" the girl says a little too loud.

"Umm, hello.." I squint to see her name tag. "Tiff..Tiffany!"

"You never called me." the girl said offended.

"I lost your number." I said to the girl hoping she would buy it.

"Oh okay! Well here you can have it again." Tiffany said reaching for the palm of my hand.

"Actually she is seeing someone!" Spencer said out of nowhere.

"What?" Aiden and I said at the same time.

"Who are you dating Ash, you never told me that." My best friend said hurt.

"Uh.." I didn't know who to say.

"Carmen!" Spencer shouted suddenly from beside me.

"What!" I shrieked. The girl sitting next to me and squeezed my thigh trying to convince me to go along with the story. "I mean...yeah..I'm dating Carmen?"

**Sorry if this chapter wasn't very good. My sister was trying to talk to me the whole time I was writing this. I wanted to give you guys something for reviewing. Again my apologizes if this sucks.**

**Songs used: She's My Kind of Crazy by Brantley Gilbert**

** Think Twice by Eve 6**


	11. Jealousy

**Hey guys! Thank you so much again for all the reviews! I think everyone is really going to enjoy this chapter. If you like it, leave me a review and let me know :) More you review, more I post!**

"SHE SAID WHAT!" Carmen yells throwing her hands into the air.

"Shhhh! Shut up they are downstairs." I tell her in a hiss.

After Spencer blurted out I was dating Carmen, the rest of the meal went smoothly. Aiden asked me questions about Carmen and I. I had to make up answer of course. Spencers hand remained on my thigh throughout the entire meal, never moving. Simply resting on it. When we finally got back to my house I called Carmen and told her to come over immediately.

"What the hell Ashley!"

"SHHH! I didn't want this to happen either okay! Spencer just yelled it out when that girl tried to give me her number." I told the raven haired girl.

I was lying on the floor, the days events being to much to do anything thing else. Carmen however was pacing around the room.

"Wait," she said stopping her pace.

"She said it so a girl wouldn't hit on you?" She ask sitting next to me.

"Yeah, I don't know what is going on with us now, but she sat next to me in the restaurant instead of Aiden. She even put her hand on my thigh the whole time."

"Is she going to break up with Aiden?"

"She says she is, but I don't know when."

"Hmm.." Carmen said thoughtfully.

"What are you thinking?" I cautiously asked.

"Maybe us 'dating' could work out in your favor." She said with an evil smile.

"What do you mean?" I asked sitting up.

"You'll see. Come on, just follow my lead." She said hoisting me up to stand.

"Hold my hand." she said offering hers to me.

"What? Why?"

"Just do it!" I took her hand and she laced our fingers together.

We went back downstairs to join up with Aiden and Spencer. As soon as we walked in the door, the blondes eyes were narrowed at our joined hands.

"Theres the happy couple." Aiden said to us. "Aren't they cute babe?" he said putting his arm around Spencer.

"Yeah, cute." Spencer said crossing her arms.

"I have an idea, why don't we all go out to ego tonight." My 'girlfriend' suggested.

"Yeah that sounds like fun!" Aiden agreed.

Spencer and I just stared at each other.

When we got to Ego it was another crowded night.

"I'm going to try and find a table." Aiden yelled over the music leaving the three of us to wander.

As soon as he was out of sight I dropped Carmens hand.

"I'm going to go get drinks." My 'girlfriend' said as she left Spencer and I alone.

She hadn't said a word to me since I came downstairs earlier.

"What's wrong?" I asked grabbing her hand to get her attention.

"Nothing." She spat out pulling her hand from mine and stalking off into the crowd.

"Looks like its working." Carmen said appearing by my side.

"What, your plan was to get her pissed at me?" I said taking my drink from her.

"She's not mad." Carmen said laughing. "She's jealous."

We found the other two at a booth towards the back of the club.

"Come on Spence, just one song." We heard Aiden plea when we walked up.

"No, I don't feel like dancing right now. Just give me a few minuets." She said touching his arm.

"I'll dance with you Aid come on." Carmen said pulling him from the booth onto the floor.

I sat next to Spencer so we could talk with out having to yell.

"You don't feel like dancing?" I asked next to her ear.

I noticed her shiver as my lips brushed the shell of her ear. She didn't say anything. She just remained staring at the drink in front of her.

"Come on Spence what did I do?" I pleaded with her.

"What was that with you and Carmen?" She asked frustrated.

Was she serious?

"Are you serious? This was your idea!" I said pointing at her.

"Well I didn't expect you to.." She trailed off.

"To what Spencer? Act like a couple? You are not aloud to be mad at me for this. Especially since I have to watch you and Aiden suck face all the time." I said getting angry.

"Fine. Whatever!" Spencer yelled turning away from me.

I saw Carmen and Aiden coming back to the table so I got up and met Carmen half way dragging her out to the floor.

"What's wrong?" Carmen asked as we started to dance to the song.

We weren't dancing to dirty just the acceptable amount between friends.

"You were right, Spencer is jealous. She is mad at me for holding you hand earlier." I told her in her ear.

"Oh really?" Carmen asked smiling. "She got jealous over that?"

I just nodded.

"Well then she probably wont like this too much."

With that said she started grinding into me with the beat of the music.

I was hesitant and she felt it.

"She hasn't stopped watching us since we came out here. Why don't you give her something to watch."

I looked over to our table. Carmen was right. She was staring us down with a scowl on her face. She had no right to be jealous.

The song changed to Grind On Me by Pretty Ricky.

You can't not dance dirty to that song.

I slipped my leg between Carmens and started grinding into her to the beat. She had her arms around my neck leaning back. The next thing I know I feel someone behind me pulling me into them using the belt loops of my jeans.

I glance over my shoulder and see Spencer grinding into my backside. Carmen then turns around using her ass to press me into Spencer more.

This was awesome! I mean come on if you were being grinded on between two girls would you not be excited? Thats what I thought.

I feel Spencers hands start to wander all over my bare back. The top I had on right now had no back in it at all. I start to push myself into her harder feeling her coming closer to my body. Her hands then snake themselves around my waist.

Her thumbs dip into the top of my jeans and pull me into her. Carmen sees things are getting heated and stealthily slips away to dance with another girl.

We are really close to a wall in the corner of the club. I have a great idea. I turn around and take Spencers hand leading her to the wall singing to her.

_Step One: You're kissin' on me  
>Step Two: Girl, I'm caressin' your body<br>Step Three: Now I'm lickin' off the whipped cream  
>Step Four: And oooh you're grindin' on me<br>_

I back her against the wall and turn around to grind on her.

Have you ever had someone wall dance on you? No? It is probably one of the hottest things EVER!

I have my my hand reached around behind me grabbing her neck. Her mouth is right next to my ear so I can hear her let out little moans when I grind extra hard into her. Her hands are feeling my hips gripping them.

She nips at my ear and I start to really push into her. "Oh god Ash." She breaths in my ear.

Her hands on sliding down my thighs. I bite my lips to keep from moaning. The song is starting to come to and end so I slow my movements. When the song ends and the other one begins I step away and turn around to face Spencer.

Even in the low light of the club I can tell how dark her eyes are right now. I smile at her breathless form in front of me.

"Damn Ashley what did you too to her?" Carmen says laughing as she finds us.

"Come on Spencer lets go get you some fresh air." She says taking the blonde outside.

I go back to the table to take a breather of my own. Its empty when I get back to it.

I take a big sip of my drink that Carmen got for me and almost spit it out. It's straight tequila.

"Have you seen Spencer? I went to the bathroom, and now she's gone." Aiden asks sitting across from me.

"I think her and Carmen went outside or something." I told him cautiously taking another drink.

"Oh okay, I think I need to go home, I just threw up in the bathroom." My best friend said laying his head down on the table.

"I can take you home." Carmen said magically reappearing at the table. "You live close to me so it wouldn't be a problem. Ash you can take Spencer home right?" She asked giving me a pointed look.

"Yeah its no problem." I say easily.

"Actually I was going to ask if I could stay with you tonight Ash, my parents are gone and I don't want to be there with Glen." Spencer says coming from behind Carmen.

Just then Aiden gets up and runs into the bathroom.

"Poor dude." I say to no one in particular.

"Why don't you two get going and I'll wait for Aiden." Carmen said pushing Spencer and I towards the exit.

When we reach my car I go around and open the door for Spencer. I don't know why, I just did. "Thanks." She says shyly and slides in.

When I get in the drivers seat I start up the car and pull away from the club.

"Sorry for being a jerk earlier." Spencer says looking at me. "I know I had no right to get jealous. I just hated seeing you hold her hand. And don't even get me started about the dancing." the blonde girl said sighing.

I reached over and grabbed her hand locking our fingers.

"Its not easy to see, is it." I ask pointedly.

She knows I'm talking about her and Aiden.

"I'm going to do it Ash. I just don't know if I can break his heart yet. And all the questions my parents are going to ask. My dad and him hang out all the time and grill together. Him and my mom get along so great. She always calls him her future son in law. It drives me crazy. They aren't going to accept the answer it just didn't work out. And when I don't get another boyfriend they are really going to start asking questions."Spencer rushes out looking down.

I bring our joined hands up to my lips and press a soft kiss on the back of her hand.

"Hey," I say getting her to look at me.

"You don't have to figure everything out right now. I know this is going to be hard for you. Its just now you know how I feel, how I have felt this whole time. But as long as your with Aiden I'm going to have to pretend to be with Carmen. I won't be able to stay sane being the only one being jealous." I tell her knowing she wont like the answer.

But hey, if I had to watch her be with him, she had to watch me and Carmen be together.

Even if it is just pretend.

My dream girl sighs dejectedly and looks out the window.

"Okay." She finally says when we pull into my drive way. "I'll break up with Aiden after spring break."

Spring break was two months away. It wasn't as soon as I would have liked. But it was a definite date. "Okay." I say getting out of the car.

We both go inside to take showers and get changed. I used my shower and she used the guest bathroom this time. I'm already in bed when she comes into my room. Like yesterday she stands in the door way rocking on her heels.

"If you want to stay in a different room I understand." I tell her looking down at my hands.

I feel the bed dip beside me as she climbs in. I smile and lay down on my side facing her.

She is so beautiful.

I reach my hand out and trace her features with my finger tips. I stop when I reach her chin.

I put my fingers under her chin and trace her lips with my thumb. She closes her eyes and kisses my thumb. I smile at the small gesture. When she opens her eyes again she stares directly into mine.

I move my hand so its framing her face and my thumb is rubbing her cheek. We stay like that for a long time before Spencer reaches her arm under the covers, and puts it around my body.

She scoots over to me so our bodies are pressed against each other and out faces are inches apart. She still has her arm around me like she is afraid I'm going to scoot away.

"What are you doing?" I breath out in a whisper.

"Kiss me." Is all she says back.

I don't say anything.

I don't move.

I stop breathing.

Spencer tightens her grip around me. "Ash, kiss me."

I look in her eyes a few seconds longer before I slowly inch my face towards hers. I guess I was moving too slow for her, because she grabs my neck and brings my lips to hers.

I sigh out at the amazing feeling. The kiss is slow and gentle. Just lips moving together in harmony.

I pull back to look in her eyes and smile.

She smiles back and pulls me back into her.

This kiss starts out the same, but as soon as she grips her hands in my hair I can't help but start to get a little more aggressive.

I speed up the kiss and slip my arm around her waist tugging her against me. Spencer then slips her leg between mine and pushes into me.

I moan into the kiss and that only seems to drive her on.

She rolls on top of me and my hands find the small of her back.

My tongue slowly traces her lips. She doesn't hesitate to let me enter her warm mouth.

Suddenly dancing with her at the club comes back into my mind making me rock my hips up into hers. Spencer lets out a whimper and rocks into me with more force.

My hands find themselves on her ass pulling her into me as our hips get a steady rhythm going.

Then it hits me.

I realize exactly what is about to happen and pull my mouth away from hers.

"Spence stop."

This doesn't deter her actions at all she just starts kissing and biting my neck and rocking harder into me. I can't help but moan.

"Oh god." I say squeezing her ass in my hands.

I could just let her continue a little more right?

No. I had to stop this. It wasn't the right time.

"Spence, please stop."

The tone of my voice get her to bring her head out of my neck and look in my eyes.

Hers are a dark shade of blue much like they were earlier.

"Whats wrong?" She asks breathless.

"We can't do this yet. I want you, trust me I want you so bad right now. But I want you to be mine when this happens." I tell her putting her hair behind her ears.

This gets her to roll off of me but she doesn't go too far.

She is still right next to me. Our bodies are still touching.

We are both lying on our backs with our eyes closed trying to catch our breath. Spencer takes a deep breath and says,

"Your right I'm sorry. I just got caught up. I've thought about kissing you hundreds of times. And after tonight at Ego, I just couldn't stop myself."

I smile and roll on my side to face as as she does the same.

"You've thought about kissing me?" I ask the beautiful girl in front of me.

Spencer blushes and nods.

I suddenly yawn which in turn makes her yawn.

"Lets go to sleep." I suggest.

When she nods in agreement I roll and turn off my bedside lamp. We both lay there in silence before I feel my arm being lifted and a body molding into my side.

"Goodnight Ash." Spencer says once she is comfortable.

I wrap my arms around her and say. "Goodnight Spence."


	12. Word Vomit

**Hey guys! SO sorry about the delay! Work had been kicking my butt lately! No worries I plan on updating frequently again. If I get up to 60 reviews I'll post another chapter tonight! Enjoy :)**

The following two weeks went very well. We went along with our routine as planned. I pretended to be with Carmen and Spencer stayed with Aiden.

Every night Spencer would find some excuse to stay at my house with me until she had to go home. The only time she saw Aiden was when all four of us were together or the classes they had together at school. The four of us would go to the movies, or go bowling.

You know, normal teenager stuff.

I would like to say that Spencer and I were very well behaved during these outings.

But that would be a lie! It really wasn't even my fault!

Spencer would always say she had to go to the bathroom and drag me with her. Once we were in there she would push me into one of the stalls and kiss me like there was no tomorrow. In fact thats where we are right now.

"Oh god Spence"

She had me against the wall and was mercilessly attacking my neck with her mouth. Her hands were everywhere on my body. One minuet they would be on my ass the next they were cupping my breast.

Our little make out sessions were getting more and more intense. It was even worse when we were alone at my house. My self control was dwindling fast and I knew I had to stop before I had our first time be in the bathroom stall of the bowling alley.

"Spence, stop." I whispered out.

Even I didn't believe I wanted her to stop, so it was no surprise when she kept going. She was trailing hot kisses up to my ear.

"I love it when you moan out my name." the blonde says before grazing my ear lobe with her teeth.

Oh fuck it.

I spin her around pressing her up against the wall I had previously occupied. My mouth quickly attached to hers and my hands were rapidly moving down to the button of her jeans.

Her hands are tangling themselves in my hair urging me on with every tug she gave. I slip my hand over her underwear into her pants and cup her center. She tosses her head back as I press my palm against it.

"Fuck Ash." She breaths out rolling her hips more into my hand.

"What the fuck are you guys doing in here? Its been twenty minuets Aiden is starting to get suspicious!" Carmen yells out barreling into the girls bathroom.

Spencer and I spring away from each other and trying to make ourselves look decent. When we open the door Carmen takes one look at us and breaks down in a fit of laughter.

"Holy shit did you guys just fuck in the stall? Oh my gosh, Ashley you have a giant hickey! Wow this is effing hilarious!"

I rush over to the mirror to look.

Oh. My. God.

The hickey was already a dark shade of purple.

"What the fuck am I going to to do? I can't go back out there like this! I obviously didn't have this when I came in here!" I said looking from Carmen to Spencer.

Spencers eyes were wide and her mouth was opening and closing.

"Spencer you go back out there and I'll stay in here with Ashley. That way when we come back out, I can just say I did it." Carmen suggested.

Smart girl.

"Okay" Spencer squeaked out. She got about half way to the door before turning around to come back and kiss me. As soon as she is gone Carmen turns to me with a serious look and says,

"I think Aiden knows."

My mouth goes dry and my heart rate increases.

"W-w-what? How do you know?" I ask panicked.

"I guess he's been picking up on things. When we do stuff you and Spencer always are next to each other, the subtle touches and the twenty minuet bathroom trips. He said Spencer hasn't had sex with him since a few days before your show at Grey."

That's when we started acknowledging our feelings for each other.

"Did he say he knows? Or are you just assuming he knows?" I said trying to calm my heart rate.

"No he didn't say he knows. But he said he hasn't felt comfortable with how much Spencer has been around you lately. He knows that you like her a lot and he doesn't want you to try and take her away." Carmen said grabbing my shoulders.

"This has got to end soon or its all going to blow up in your face Ash. You either wait until she's broken it off with him, or she needs to end it tonight."

With that she takes my hand and leads me back to the group. Aiden and Spencer are sitting down next to each other having a quiet argument. They are facing the opposite direction so they don't see us coming.

"Look, I just want you stay away from her for a little while." Aiden said in a hushed voice.

"No! I'm not going to do that, your being ridiculous." Spencer said loosing her hushed tone towards the end of her sentence.

We decide to make our entrance at this.

"Aiden is always ridiculous, but what is he asking you to do this time?" Carmen says as we both sit down.

She throws he arm around me and turns my face towards hers to give me a kiss. It wasn't a long kiss. Just something to try and deflect the situation at hand.

"I was, uh, just trying to get her to bowl with out bumpers on the next game." Aiden said clearly trying to cover up his lie.

"Oh my god Ashley, what is on your neck!" The boy said pointing like a child.

"Oh that's just some of my handy work. Got a little rough in the bathroom." Carmen said winking at him.

"Ha, nice." he said.

The rest of the day drug on very slowly. I avoided making eye contact with Spencer the rest of the day. When it was time to go home I didn't know if Spencer would be coming with me as usual or headed with Aiden.

"Well guys that was fun, but I would really like to get home so I can sleep on my sofa and ignore my 5 brothers." Carmen said as we were walking out.

Every one had driven their own cars but Spencer. The three of us stood at our cars waiting for her to ask someone to take her home.

"Hey Carmen can you give me a ride?" She suddenly said not looking at Aiden or me as she got in the car and they drove off.

"Well Aid, I'll see you around." I said quickly trying to avoid talking.

"Wait Ashley hold on." He said walking over to me.

That is the second time he has called me 'Ashley' he always calls me Ash so I knew this wasn't going to end well.

"Okaaay", I said slowly, "What about?"

"I want you to stay away from Spencer. At least until you get over this little crush your having on her."

Wow gets right to the point doesn't he.

"I have no idea what your talking about Aiden."

"Yes you do! Stop trying to lie to me Ashley, we've been best friends since the 5th grade! I know when your lying to me and when your not!"

The guilt in all of this was becoming way to much.

"Fine! I have feelings for her! Are you happy now?" I yell in his face.

I am such an idiot!

He looks sad.

"Why didn't you tell me Ash? How long have you liked her?" He said softly.

I guess he could see all over my face that this was killing me.

"Since her and I started that food fight in eighth grade." I told him wiping away the tears that were falling from my eyes.

I hadn't even noticed I was crying.

The look on his face could only be described as confused and hurt.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" He said resting his hands on my shoulders.

He was being way to comforting about this. If only he knew about everything that had been happening between Spencer and I.

"Because I thought she was straight."

I noticed how I worded that as soon as it left my mouth.

I said I 'thought' she was straight. I guess he noticed too.

"Wait, what do you mean thought?" The dark haired boy asked dropping his hands from my shoulders.

Shit.

"Nothing, I didn't mean anything by it. I suck at grammar." I tried to lie.

"Bullshit Ashley, you have over a hundred average in English. What do you mean thought! When are you going to start treating me like your best friend and stop lying to me huh? Don't I deserve that? Don't I deserve to know whats really going on between my so called best friend, and MY girlfriend? What the fuck Ashley? Do you even care about everything we have been through together? Do you even care that we're the only family either of us really have? Does that mean anything to you?"

I couldn't take this anymore. I felt it coming up in my throat. You know word vomit, from Mean Girls?

Yeah that shit is real.

"She has feelings for me too!" I shouted out.

Oh shit.

That wasn't supposed to happen.

Aiden slowly starts backing away from me. Now we both have tears on our faces.

"Aiden wait, that didn't come out right. Just wait a second let me explain!"

It was too late he was already in his car and driving off.

"FUCK!" I yelled out in the middle of the parking lot.

I cannot believe what just happened. I get in my car and call Spencer as I'm driving to my house. It keeps going straight to voice mail.

"Why does she never charge her fucking phone!" I yell out to no one.

By the tenth time I call and get no answer I throw my phone in my passengers seat and speed home. I'm crying even harder now.

I cannot believe what just happened. Aiden was never supposed to know that this was all going on behind his back. That thought alone makes a whole new string of sobs come. I was a horrible best friend. I could have waited until Spencer broke up with Aiden.

Or made her break up with him sooner. But to continue on like we did, while they were together was horrible, of both of us. When I reach my house I run into my room. When I open my door I see Spencer sitting on my bed waiting for me.

I immediately throw myself in her arms and sob into her chest.

"Oh my gosh Ash whats wrong?" She asks frantic.

The only thing I can say over and over is, "I'm so sorry."

She continues to hold me and run her fingers in my hair until I've calmed down.

I eventually fall asleep in Spencers arms.

When I wake up she isn't holding me anymore. She isn't even in the room. I notice the phone charger plugged into the wall.

"Shit." I say getting out of bed searching for her.

Its dark outside so I guess its been at least four hours since I fell asleep. A lot can happen in four hours. When I look everywhere in the house I go out side to the pool.

I find her sitting on the side of the pool with her legs in the water. Her cell phone is beside her. She's facing away from me so I can't see her face.

"Spence?" I say as I shut the back door and make my way over to her.

When I sit down beside her I can see she has a steady stream of tears rolling down her face.

"Aiden called." She said after a few seconds of silence.

I let out a deep sigh, but remain silent. I don't have words to say how sorry I am.

"At least I know why you were crying earlier." She says letting out a little laugh.

I half smile back at her.

"He asked if I was in love with you." That suddenly had my attention.

"I told him yes." She was staring down at the water swishing her legs around.

"And then he broke up with me." She said bringing her eyes up to face mine.

I was still in shock over her telling him she was in love with me. We both knew we were, but had never actually said the words 'I love you' to each other before.

"I'm afraid he's going to tell Glen." Her voice broke on the last word and she started crying harder.

I brought her into a hug and held her while she cried.

"Its ganna be okay Spence, shh everything will be okay." I told her soothingly.

"How do you know Ash? How do you know everything is going to be okay?" She asked pulling back to look at me.

I brought my hands to her face, using my thumbs to wipe away her tears.

"Because I love you, so very much." I told her. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you, I promise."

A giant smile broke out on her face. She reached up her hands to rest them on my wrists, her thumbs rubbing my soft skin gently. I couldn't help myself, I leaned in and captured her lips.

I tired to tell her exactly how much I loved her in that kiss.

"I love you too Ash." She said before capturing my lips again.

The kiss only lasted a few seconds but it was the most passionate kiss I had ever felt. We stayed out side holding one another for a few more hours before Spencer had to go home.

When I pulled into her driveway I brought our conjoined hands to my lips and kissed the back of her hand.

"I love you Spencer." I told her before she got out.

"I love you too Ashley." Spencer said to me.

We didn't kiss goodbye. Our words would be enough for tonight. I made sure she got inside safely before driving back to my house. I couldn't keep the smile off my face.

Well that is until I pulled in the driveway.

Aidens car was there.

He, like Carmen and Spencer, knew the code to my gait and front door. I assumed he was already inside. I parked my car and got out. Its only when I heard Aidens car door open behind me that I froze on my porch.

"Ash.." His voice sounded so broken.

"We need to talk about this."


	13. Bitter Sweet

**Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews! Keep em coming! :) I really do appreciate all of you guys reading and reviewing! This is a short chapter but hey, it is my second one of the night. :) Tomorrow will be longer if I get more reviews! Enjoy! :)**

We have been sitting in my living room in silence for a good twenty minuets now. Every once in a while one of us would take a breath to say something, and just have it fall from our lips.

"Have you," Aiden paused. "Have you, slept together." He asked not looking at me.

"No." Was the only response I could give.

Saying 'I was waiting until she broke your heart before I would' didn't seem necessary right now.

"Oh" left his lips.

And then the silence was back.

"I'm sorry Aiden." He looked up to meet my eyes.

"I'm sorry that all of this had to happen. I tired for so long to hide the way I felt. I never wanted this, I never wanted us to be like this with each other. Your my family, my best friend. I love you. But," I paused before I let the next words come out. "I'm in love with Spencer."

I heard him let out a defeated sigh before he dropped his head.

"I didn't know Ash. And it bothers me so much, because looking back, I should have known. I should have picked up on it the very first day. But I was so blinded by my own feelings for her, that I never saw yours." He was looking at me again. "I don't blame you for this. I did until I talked to Spencer earlier. When she told me, that she was in love with you. I knew it was her that I was truly mad at."

I opened my mouth to defend her but he cut me off.

"Don't Ash, you know she should have come forward a long time ago about how she felt. Yes, I understand she is scared and going through some heavy shit, but it didn't need to get this far."

I couldn't argue with him.

"So where does this leave us Aid, you and me. What are we going to do?" I asked feeling hopeless about our friendship.

"I really don't know Ash. I really don't know." My best friend sighed.

"Your still my family." I told him firmly. "And I still love you, very much."

He looked up at me and smiled, "Your still my family and I love you too Ash."

I smiled back at the boy.

"I think we're just going to have to figure this out as we go. Because I feel like so much and nothing was just accomplished." I tell him getting up off the couch.

"Yeah probably because we sat there and stared at each other for an hour." Aiden joked back with me. I loved how even after all the messed up stuff we just went through, we could still be ourselves.

"It's not my fault I'm hot." I tell him earning me a shove.

"You can stay, and have me kick your ass in a round of Mario Kart on the plazma in the game room if you want?" I said giving him a should check.

"Your so on!" My best friend said before running into the game room.

We played for a few hours before we finally decided to call it quits.

"I totally had you if you hadn't of tickled me in the last turn!" Aiden said as we headed towards the exit.

"Maybe you shouldn't be so ticklish." I told him, poking his ribs to drive home my point.

"Yeah well next time..."He trailed off. Both of us not really knowing when next time would be.

As I walked him to the door I thought how thankful I was to still have him around.

I knew he probably wouldn't be making an appearance around here so much anymore, considering he knew where Spencer was bound to be.

"Well, I guess I'll be seeing you, sometime." Aiden said as he stood in the door way.

"Yeah, sometime." I agreed.

Before he could walk away I wrapped my arms around his waist and gave him a bone crunching hug.

"I love you meat head." I told him with tears in my eyes.

Our friendship wasn't going to be the same, at least not for a while. And I was going to miss the big lug.

"I love you too midget, don't worry, I'm still here when you need me." He said returning my hug.

We stood like this for a few minuets until he finally kissed my head and pulled away.

"I gata go." He said rubbing his eyes to hide his tears as well.

He was really a big softy deep down.

"Okay, bye Aid." I croaked out.

"Later Ash." He said before he drove off.

I closed my door and leaned against it. I felt a bitter sweet feeling deep in my heart.

I had just lost my best friend in the entire world, but I had just gained the love of my life.

Free of guilt, free of lying, free of sneaking around.

Well, at least when we were alone at my house. Her house on the other hand, was full of gay hating pitch using torch carrying, okay not that bad. But the gay hating part, was totally right on. But I didn't want to worry about that right now.

Right now I just wanted to sit and relish in the fact that Spencer Carlin, was officially, and completely, all mine.


	14. You Owe Me Big!

**Hey guys! I loved all of you reviews! Thank you so so so much! If I can get to 80 reviews tonight I will post another chapter. Things get a little steamy in this chapter so prepare yourself ;) **

_Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!_

"No!" I yell out to the empty room.

_Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! _

"Noooooooo!" I say getting angrier. If you couldn't already tell, my alarm was going off. Why you ask? Although I may not talk about it a lot, and try to avoid the hell hole as much as possible, I have school.

_BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEEEEEEEEP!  
><em> 

I think my alarm clock is literally yelling at me. I scoot my self towards my night stand and blindly shut the stupid thing off. Ahh much better...

"You know if you turn it off, your going to fall back asleep." Suddenly comes from next to me on my bed.

I jolted up quickly covering my chest with my sheet. I was wearing a bra and undies to sleep in.

Once my sleepy eyes have adjusted, I see a heavenly site in front of me. Well Spencer is here also, but she is holding a cup of Starbucks coffee, and two chocolate doughnuts.

"Hey." I said sleepily.

"Hi." She returned with a smile.

"Are you okay, you know, from everything that happened yesterday?" I asked concerned. Spencer looked at me thoughtfully before answering,

"Yeah, it was time for it to happen. I just wish it went smoother. Are you two okay?" the blonde girl asked titling her head.

"Yeah we are, its just going to be different for a while, until he learns to accept it."

"Accept what?" She asked with knitted eyebrows.  
>"That I love you." I said with a huge smile.<p>

"I love you too Ash, which is why I got up at the ass crack of dawn to give you these!"

I look from her to her hands.

"Go a head Ash, I did bring them over here for you to eat, not stare at."

With out another word I shovel to soft chocolatey goodness into my mouth.

"Mmmm, oh my god!" I moan out with my eyes closed.

Once I managed to get the first doughnut down I went for my coffee. She had gotten me a caramel machiatto. Its cooled off enough so I don't have to hesitate as I chug half of it down, before returning to demolish the second doughnut. After I ate that one I polished off the rest of my coffee.

"Mmmmm" Is the only sound I could make as I finished it.

When the last drop had entered my mouth I fell back on my bed with my eyes closed and arms above my head. When I sit back up I see Spencers eyes are wide and she has a little smile playing around her lips.

"What?" I ask with a smirk.

"Did you just have a mouth-gasm?" She said her smile finally breaking free.

I had to laugh. "Yeah, so? I love me some fucking doughnuts, oh and.."

I leaned in to give her a kiss. I sighed out as our lips connected. I traced my tongue along her bottom lip asking for permission. She soon granted it and moaned out when our warm muscles met. I pulled back before things got too heated. I hadn't even brushed my teeth yet after all.

"And thank you for the breakfast." I finish my earlier sentence.

"You taste really good after eating doughnuts." Spencer laughed out.

I couldn't help it, my dirty mind made my mouth move before I could stop it.

"You should see how I taste after eating other things." I tell her.

My voice dropped a little and got a raspy edge to it. I immediately noticed Spencer's pupil dilate. I decided to give her a little payback for the hickey. I leaned in close to her ear and said,

"I can only imagine how good you would taste." I kissed the spot just below her ear before jumping out of bed, running into the bathroom and shutting the door so I could brush my teeth.

"Tease!" I hear her yell from the other room.

While I was in the bathroom I decided to shower. My hair was un fixable while dry at this point.

When I emerged Spencer quickly sat up on my bed and crossed her legs tightly.

"What were you just doing?" I asked more than amused.

Her eyes were still dark and her breathing was heavier.

"Nothing!" She said a little too defensive.

"I-I fell asleep because you took so damn long in the shower and when you opened the door it startled me." She rushed out.

She was so lying.

"Well okay then." I said non nonchalant grabbing a new set of bra and underwear to change into.

I picked a blood red lacy pair and went back into the bathroom to put them on. My hair was still dripping water down my body when I walked back out clad in only my undergarments.

I didn't bother looking at Spencer I knew what her reaction would be. I heard her sharp gasp and breathing quicken.

"Hmm what should I wear today Spence?" I asked reaching up to look in my closet.

I deliberately arched my back and stuck my ass out. I pretended to look through a few of my shirts before turning around placing my hands on my hips with a pout,

"I can't find anything to wear." I said taking a big breath and sighing it out.

Spencers eyes were glued to my chest.

"I, uh, well you, um..the one with the buttons." The flustered girl bummbled out.

I smiled slyly and walked slowly towards her.

"Yeah, I like that one too. But the one with the lace is better don't you think?" I asked stopping a few feet in front of her.

I didn't even have time to realize what happened before I felt myself being pulled onto my bed with Spencer underneath me. The only thing I knew for sure was that, we were kissing, on my bed, and I was half naked.

I was so not complaining though.

Spencers hand were latching on to my ass and squeezing roughly. With every squeeze I couldn't help but bring my hips down into hers. Eventually she stopped squeezing and just started pulling me into her, rocking our hips together.

Her whimpers were only making me push harder into her. Before I knew it I was being flipped over. Spencer never broke our kiss as she changed our positions. But instead of just being on top of me she maneuvered her thigh between mine, and mine was between hers.

My hands took their place on her ass, pulling her into me as hers had done earlier. She was letting out short whimpers with every grind.

Her soft hands found my breast and started to massage it and tweak my nipple through my bra. When I moaned into our kiss, the pace of her grinds sped up and got harder.

She broke away from our kiss and went to work on my neck.

"Oh fuck." I breathed out as she found my pulse point.

"I'm so fucking wet Ashley." She breathed huskily in my ear.

To prove her point she removed one of my hands from her ass and put it between her legs, slowing her grinds, but never stopping.

She was now just rubbing herself on my hand. I could feel her through her jeans as I cupped her mounds firmly. My thumb easily found her clit through the fabric.

"Mmm shit." She moaned out as I slowly rubbed her through her pants.

"More." She breathed out biting my neck. I quickened my pace.

"No, inside my pants." She said grabbing my breast again.

I stopped all my movements causing her to look up at me.

"Spence, a-are you sure, you want to do this right now?" I asked more nervous than I had ever been with any girl.

"Yes Ash I'm sure. And I know you probably had this whole big romantic event planned out where you covered everything is rose petals and candles, probably serenading me,"

I giggled at this, she was so right.

"but I don't need all that stuff to make my first time with you be special. I just need you." She said cupping my face with her hand. She traced her thumb over my lips, and I closed my eyes to kiss the digit.

"Are you 150% sure you want to do this?" I asked giving her one more chance to say no.

"I'm sure Ash. I love you." my beautiful girl smiled down at me.

"I love you too Spence." I said bringing her back down into me. Instead of her being on top I flipped us over so I was in control. Things quickly regained heat and intensity. Knowing that it was actually going to happen made us both even more eager. I leaned up bringing Spencer with me and held the bottom of her shirt.

I looked in her eyes for permission before she raised her arms signaling for me to take off the unwanted article. Once it was off I let my eyes roam her torso before laying her back down and kissing her. My hands were exploring all the soft skin the was being presented to me.

When Spencer started to whimper beneath me I slowly moved my hands down her stomach stopping when I got to the button of her jeans. I looked back up at her to get her eager nod of approval to remove her pants. I sat up on my knees to slid them off.

On my way back to her I skimmed my finger tips up her legs back to her stomach. I began kissing her again and slowly moving my finger tips across the skin above the waistband of her underwear. She must have been getting frustrated because she grabbed my hand and slowly slid it into her underwear.

I was met by her warm wet center and moaned at the heat I felt coming from it. I slowly ran my finger through the slick folds avoiding her clit.

"Ash," She panted out, "Please."

How could I deny her?

I gently ran my finger over her hard bundle of nerves.

"Oh fuck." the girl beneath me panted throwing her head back.

She slowly began rocking her hips to the strokes of my fingers. I increased my pressure making her cry out a quiet string of profanities.

_'Hey answer the phone, hey your moms calling you answer the phone. Hey I know you hear me! ANSWER THE PHONE!'_

That was Spencers ringtone for her mother.

Both of us froze.

The mood was very very gone, even if my hand was still in her underwear.

"Y-you should probably get that." I stuttered out removing my hand.

"Yeah." Spencer nodded but still didn't move.

I got up to retrieve her phone from her pants pocket and gave it too her.

"Hello?" She answered annoyed.

"Nothing, I'm on my way to school." She rolled her eyes. She listened for a few more seconds before her eyes got wide. "Oh my god!" That got my attention. She saw me panic and shook her head at me to tell me no one was hurt or killed. Thank goodness.

"Yeah I'll be right home, can you call the school? …..Okay thanks mom, oh and mom, can you get Ashley excused too, since she is my ride to school?...Okay, yeah we'll see you shortly. Bye mom." She hung up the phone and quickly jumped off the bed.

"Uh, my brother got Madison pregnant, and my mom says we need to have a family day. And I'm totally making you stay with me all day, because for one, I don't want to deal with all that by myself, and two, I am not going to be the only one with blue balls." She finished smiling at me while putting on her clothes.

My mouth was hanging open. No way in hell was I going over to the Carlin house, hornier than a mother fucker, to hear about Glen knocking up Madison...and now I'm not so horny.

"Fine," I said getting off the bed with her.

"But you owe me, big." I said as I stuck my fingers in my mouth.

I could taste her on them.

The second I had removed my fingers I brought her into a kiss.

I heard her moan when she tasted herself.

Needless to say after a good twenty more minuets of making out we finally left my house. When we finally arrived at her house I put the car in park and turned it off.

"Come on." She said stepping out of my car.

This was not exactly how I had seen this morning ending up. I followed Spencers actions and went inside with her.

"Mom, we're here!" She yelled when we got into the house.

"There you are honey, finally. Oh, Ashley, your here."

"Hello to you Paula."

This was going to be AWESOME! ….NOT!


	15. PREVIEW!

**Hey guys, I am getting too tired to wait until I get 80 reviews for tonight, so I'm just going to post a preview of the next chapter. Hopefully I wont make to many people mad. Oh and SammyGirl, I'll totally marry you, but you have to at least buy me dinner first ;)**

"_So Spencer where is Aiden?" Paula asked her daughter as we all sat down to dinner. _

"_He, uh, has been busy lately. Basketball and stuff." The blond girl lied._

"_Well he needs to come over soon, I'm missing my favorite future son in law." Spencers mom said smiling at her plate. _

_If I didn't know any better I would say she had a crush on the boy._

"_Mom, your going to have to stop saying that!" Spencer snapped from next to me. _

"_What do you mean sweety?" The older blond questioned._

"_He isn't going to be your future son in law! Gosh I'm so sick of hearing you say that crap!"_

"_Are you two having a fight? I can't believe that, your so perfect for each other."_

"_We broke up mom! And we were not perfect for each other because,"_

_I put my hand on my knee to stop her from knowing what I know she was about to let slip out._

"_Ugh, just forget it!" Spencer said getting up and storming off to her room leaving me at the table with her family._

"_Did you have something to do with this Ashley?" Paula accuses me._

"_Excuse me?" Is the only remotely polite response I could think of_


	16. Bible Verses

**Hey guys im SO sorry about the delay I hope you like this and it was worth the wait, dont be afaid to let me know what you think!**

6 hours.

That's how long I have been sitting in the Carlin house, on their couch, listening to them give lectures to Glen and Spencer about abstinence, birth control, condoms, saying no, responsible behavior, and my personal favorite, the power of church.

"Oh please." I said under my breath.

That earned me and elbow from Spencer and a death glare from Paula.

"What was that Ashley?" The older blond said.

Shit.

"Oh, um I said um..Better believe!" I sputtered out.

Paula looked taken aback, "I didn't know you were involved in church."

Knowing that he was free from being yelled at for now, Glen and Mr. Carlin went to start dinner. Spencer tired to hide her chuckle.

"Uh, yeah new thing for me actually." I lied.

Was it a really, really big deal to lie about going to church?

Nah.

"Oh, where do you go?" Paula asked not believe a word I said.

I didn't blame her.

"I've just been bouncing around to different ones, ya know trying to find the one for me." I tried to divert the subject.

"Why don't you just come with us this Sunday?" The older blonde offered surprisingly polite.

I guess the thought of me not being a devil worshiper had softened her heart.

"Yeah Ash, since you can't find the right one yet." Spencer jumped in.

The look in her eye was nothing but pure mockery. She would pay for that later.

"I would love to go Mrs. Carlin." I said not looking away from Spencers, now wide eyes.

I just smiled and turned back to her mother. The older blonde looked just as shocked as her daughter. I was pleased.

"Well, thats good then. Yes." Paula said.

"Don't forget to bring Aiden honey, I'm going to help your father with dinner."

With that, Paula left. I had felt Spencer stiffen by me at the mention of Aidens name.

I put my hand on her knee to get her attention. Spencer looked down at my hand and smiled before bringing her eyes to mine. I smiled back at her when she took my hand and laced our pinkies together.

"Your gana have to tell her sooner or later you know Spence." I told the beautiful girl in front of me.

"I know," She sighed out. "I just don't think now is a good time."

I understood. No really I did. If she told them she broke up with Aiden then things would start to get bad when she didn't get another boyfriend. I just wish her parents would understand that.

"Ok Spence, I'll wait. Your definitely worth it." I said fully lacing our fingers together.

"Mom, Ashley and I are going to my room, call for us when its time for dinner!" Spencer yelled out before she drug me up the stairs.

As soon as I pushed the door shut behind me I felt soft lips on mine. I couldn't help but hum my satisfaction at the contact.

"Mmm that was nice, but what was that for?" I asked grinning like a goof at the beautiful girl in front of me.

"Because you are simply amazing Ashley Davies."

I always got a kick out of her saying my full name like that.

"I know," I say brushing the imaginary dirty off of my shoulder, "but what did I do this time."

I really wanted to know what had the blonde so keen on giving me such wonderful gifts, so I could do it more often!

"Your being so patient with everything. Even after waiting for me for so long. It makes me realize just how much I do and have always loved you Ash."

I couldn't say anything, let alone breath as her words. I wanted to tell her just how much I loved her too. I quickly looked around her room.

"Where is your guitar you bought last year." I asked.

She bought it to have me try and teach her, poor girl had no rythem. She looked kinda put off by me blowing off her love confession.

"Um, in my closet. Why?"

I didn't answer. I just brought a chair in the middle of the room and went to get her guitar. "Sit down." I told her nodding to the bed. Spencer looked apprehensive but did as I said.

"Ok," I sighed out getting ready to perform how I felt rather than tell her.

"You know I'm horrible with words. And I know we aren't even officially or anything yet, but I wrote this about you a few days after we first kissed. Please hold your applause and bra throwing until after the show."

I had to throw in the last part to hide my nerves. I started strumming and looked into Spencers eyes as I began singing.

_Your love's a gathered storm I chased across the sky  
>A moment in your arms became the reason why<br>And you're still the only light that fills the emptiness  
>The only one I need until my dying breath<br>And I would give you everything just to  
>Feel your open arms<br>And I'm not sure I believe anything I feel_

And now, now that you're near  
>There's nothing more without you<br>Without you here

And I'm trying to believe  
>In things that I don't know<br>The turning of the world  
>The color of your soul<br>That love could kill the pain  
>Truth is never vain<br>It turns strangers into lovers

And enemies to brothers  
>Just say you understand<p>

_I never had this planned_

And now, now that you're near  
>There's nothing more without you<br>Without you here  
>Without you here<br>There's nothing more without you  
>Without you here<p>

My head lies to my heart  
>And my heart it still believes<br>It seems the ones who love us are the ones  
>That we deceive<br>But you're changing everything  
>You're changing everything in me<p>

And now, now that you're near  
>There's nothing more without you<br>Without you here

I set down the guitar and look back at Spencer. The tears are falling freely and shamelessly down her face.

"Gosh was I that terrible?" I joke.

"Come here Ash." Spencer says in a voice thick with emotion.

I walk over to her bed and sit beside her. Spencer reaches up and cups my face with both her hands. I can't help but close my eyes. I feel her leaning close to me. She stops right before she gets to my lips and whispers,

"I love you so much." and finally closes the gap between us.

The kiss is slow and sensual. I can feel the truth in her words in the kiss and I try to give back the feeling. When we finally break apart I take both her hands in mine while looking in her eyes.

"I love you too baby."

"GIRLS DINNER IS READY!" We hear from downstairs.

"I guess thats our cue huh?" I say leaning my forehead against hers.

"I guess so..." Spencer sighs.

Before me move from her bed, we give each other another kiss.

"So Spencer where is Aiden?" Paula asked her daughter as we all sat down to dinner.

"He, uh, has been busy lately. Basketball and stuff." The blond girl lied.

"Well he needs to come over soon, I'm missing my favorite future son in law." Spencers mom said smiling at her plate.

If I didn't know any better I would say she had a crush on the boy.

"Mom, your going to have to stop saying that!" Spencer snapped from next to me.

"What do you mean sweety?" The older blond questioned.

"He isn't going to be your future son in law! Gosh I'm so sick of hearing you say that crap!"

"Are you two having a fight? I can't believe that, your so perfect for each other."

"We broke up mom! And we were not perfect for each other because,"

I put my hand on her knee to stop her from saying what I know she was about to let slip out.

"Ugh, just forget it!" Spencer said getting up and storming off to her room leaving me at the table with her family.

"Did you have something to do with this Ashley?" Paula accuses me.

"Excuse me?" Is the only remotely polite response I could think of

"Paula!" Her husband warned her.

"What Arthur? You know this girl has not been a good influence on our daughter since she weaseled her way into hanging out with Aiden and Spencer!"

"Weaseled my way in? Are you kidding me? I was the whole reason they even met thank you very much! You know what, I don't know why I even try with you Mrs. Carlin. I have never been anything but respectful and polite to you, and every time you see me, you treat me like a disease or a walking plague, like I disgust you or something?"

"The life you've chosen makes you disgusting!"

"Don't you ever talk to her like that ever again!"

Comes ripping from Spencers throat as she storms into the dining room.

"Spencer, its really fine. Don't do this." I try to ease the fire I see burning behind the blondes eyes.

I know this could get out of hand very quickly if she didn't control her temper.

"How dare you talk to me like that young lady! You see Arthur, this girl is beginning to rub off on our daughter, its only a matter of time before she brain washes her into a life of sin and sickness." Paula spit out.

Okay even for me, that was a little much.

"Seriously? Have you read the bible Mrs. Carlin? Would you say you follow it to the t and do all of what it says?" I ask trying to keep my voice under control.

"Yes!" the woman practically shouts.

"Okay, did you ever have a disagreement with your parents, and not listen to what they told you to do?" I asked still calm.

She seemed to be confused by the turn this conversation had taken.

"Well yes, they didn't want me to marry Arthur. And of course we had our disagreements when I was growing up, but over small things. What does this have to do with anything?"

I was totally about to make her shit herself! My mom made me go to a catholic school when I was little, I took it as a learning experience but never believed in everything.

"Well then they should have stoned you to death shouldn't they?" I ask with every ounce of seriousness I could muster.

"What?" Paula asked confused.

"May I see your bible Mrs. Carlin please?" She skeptically hands it to me.

I knew exactly where it was. I've used this argument on many people trying to tell me I was wrong and the bible was ALWAYS right.

"Well looky here. Let me read this for you." I say clearing my throat.

"If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear. - Deuteronomy 21:18-21"

I snap the book shut and hand it back to the shocked woman.

"So, I think I have made my point here. Mr. Carlin the dinner was wonderful thank you so much for having me here. Glen good luck with your child, that was a result of pre marital sex, which is a sin. Mrs. Carlin, always a pleasure. If you'll excuse me I think I should get home. Spencer could you walk me out please?"

When I turned to the beautiful blonde she had a smug smirk on her face.

"Of course Ash."

Spencer decides to walk me all the way outside to my car to leave her godsmacked (Thought the word fit here haha) family to process what just happened.

"That was so awesome Ash! How did you even know that was in there? I've been dying to shut her up for years!" Spencer said giggling into her rant. "

Long story that involves nuns, some of which were very scary! I'm sorry I went off on your mom. I think she might be comatose now! I just knew that if I let you keep talking, everything was going to come out. I didn't want it to be because of anger, I want it to happen when your ready."

I said looking down, the embarrassment of what just happened catching up to me.

"Hey," Spencer said lifting my chin. "That was so awesome, I've never seen anyone stand up to her like that before. I'm impressed."

"Really? But what if I just got you grounded for a lifetime? Your probably not going to be able to see me anymore and then how will our relationship ever work, and then we'll never officially be girlfriends, then who am I going to take to prom..."

I started rambling on but was soon shut up by a pair of soft lips.

It was quick and chaste, but it was a kiss!

"Ashley will you be my girlfriend?" Spencer asked after I had shut up.

I can't believe she was stealing my thunder here. I was going to ask her!

"Of course I will baby."

I tell her leaning in for another quick kiss.

"I better let you get inside. Please call me if you need anything okay? Try and text me before you go to sleep and tell me how things go."

"I will. I love you Ash."

I don't think it matters how many times she says that to me, I don't think my heart will ever stop racing.

"I love you more baby." I tell her before I pull away and drive home.

All the way there I can't believe what has happened today. I know what I did will have massive consequences. I just hope its not enough to keep me from my girlfriend. A smile breaks out on my face at the thought.

Spencer Carlin is my girlfriend.

I can't help but feel cheated out of it though. I want these mile stones in our relationship to be special but Spencer keeps trying to blow through them. As I pull in my drive way I get a text from Spencer

_They are still sitting at the table. I think you broke them babe lol. XxS_

I smile at the nick name already appearing in our conversations.

_Hurry nows ur chnce! See if ur mom is a robot! XxA_

_Nope no wires or screws, so your theory of her being an alien is next to check off the list ;) xxS_

Spencer and I had sat around one day trying to figure out why her mom was such a bitch. I said robot, or alien. Spencer said catholic family upbringing. Mine is way cooler!

_Lol well get some sleep baby, maybe if your asleep when they come out of their coma, they wont bother you? XxA_

I really hoped everything would be okay when they finally did snap out of their haze. The last thing I wanted was for her to be punished for what I did. I didn't get a reply from Spencer until after I was already changed and ready for bed.

_Dad just said to tell u tht ur still welcome here n e time. He came nd tlked to me a lil. Nuthin bad, jst made sure I was ok. XxS_

_Wel tht is good right? XxA_

_I guess so. Idk bout mom yet :/ Well babe, Ima go to sleep. I love you so much GIRLFRIEND! :) Pic me up n the morning? XxS_

_:D I love you WAY more bby. Of course i'll pic u up. See you n the morning. I love you I love you I love you I love you! :) Sleep sweet bby. XxA_

_Goodnight babe :) XxS_

I can honestly say that im the happiest i've ever been right now. I finally had the girl of my dreams. Now if only I had my best friend to share it with. And if my girlfriends mom wasn't an alien that might help too.

Songs used: With out you here by The GooGoo Dolls


	17. I Would Do Anything For Love

**Hey guys! I really hope you like this chapter! I tried to make it the long because i was so excited i got to 100 reviews! :D You guys are so awesome keep it up! It makes my day to read them! **

* * *

><p>The next morning I woke up five minuets before my alarm went off.<p>

I sat up and the strangest thing happened, I was smiling.

As I got out of bed and got ready for school, it wouldn't go away!

I got in my car and drove to Starbucks for my morning coffee and one for Spencer as well. It was still early and not a lot of people were in the drive through line.

"_Welcome to Starbucks, can I take your order?" _ Came the not so happy voice from the ordering box.

I never know what you call those things, so I'm going to call it an ordering box, if you don't like it, sorry bout cha. :)

"Yes I need one hot and heavy make out session and one under the table favor please." I said back.

Don't worry I'm not crazy.

Well sort of, but not right now!

Carmen is working here this morning, and it was her cheery self on the drive through.

"_So you want a Carmel Machiato, and a... Camrel Frap?"_ Carmen asked.

"Ooo so close! A Mocha Frap. A Carmel Frap would be a quickie in the bathroom. Geez Carmen learn your menu!"

I knew she couldn't talk crap back to me, so I was taking full advantage.

"_Okay Ma'am, what size would you like those to be?" _She said in a snipy voice.

"Umm...how about a screaming orgasm."

This was so much fun, We had come up with code for drinks and sizes when she first started working here. Do you know how much fun it is to watch the peoples reaction behind you when you say shit like that?

"_Alright I have one Venti Carmel Machiato, and one Venti Mocha Frape. Can I get you anything else ma'am?"_

"Nope that will be plenty satisfying thank you."

"_Alright, pull around and I'll have your total."_

In other words, free.

"Hi Carmy Carm! How are you doing today?" I said smile still in place.

I think my face might be broken.

"Who ate your good good this morning?" Carmen asked in a whisper.

"No one." I replied still happy as a lark.

What the.. Okay I'm freaking myself out.

"Then what is with the viagra bob face?" She asked handing me my first drink.

"I don't have a boner, but I might have a girlfriend." I smugly said to my friend.

"Wait.." She said with a thoughtful face.

"Are you talking about our pretend shit, orrrr..." Carmen trailed off waiting for confirmation.

"Spencer asked me to be her girlfriend last night!" I squealed bouncing in my seat.

Carmens reaction wasn't what I was hoping for.

"Isn't all this happening a little fast? She did only become single two days ago! Have you guys already slept together too? Don't tell me, you are already dropping the L bombs."

"Fuck off Carmen! No we haven't slept together! Yes, I tell her I love her, because you know for a fact I DO!" I spat back at my friend.

"Yeah I know you do! But what about her? Does she really love you? I mean this is all coming out of nowhere pretty much. How do you know this is real? What if she is just experimenting. She wont even admit she's gay for christ sake and your already giving her everything you have. Just think about what your getting yourself into Ashley. You may like the idea of you and Spencer being together, but I don't know if your ready for the real thing."

By the time she finished her speech I was no longer wearing my smile.

I had actually replaced it with a frown.

Was Carmen right?

Spencer was rushing everything, but I thought it was just because it was what we both wanted for so long.

"Look I didn't mean to burst your bubble or anything. Here is your other drink Ash."

I took the Mocha Frap and set it in the cup holder.

"Thanks Carmen, but I don't think you know what your talking about with this one." I said before rolling up my window and pulling away.

Although my words to Carmen were confident, inside I was anything but.

In my heart I felt like Spencer loved me, but my head was telling my heart to 'shut the fuck up, pussy!'

My brain was always the one to look at the logical side of things, and my heart was the mushy one.

Yes I know, I'm weird for giving my body parts personification.

Bite me :)

I pulled up to Spencers house and sent her a text saying I was here.

Clouds are starting to roll in fitting my mood.

A few seconds later she was bounding towards my car with a huge smile on her face. I couldn't help but wear my own when I saw her.

"Hey babe!" She said when she got in the car.

"Hi, I got you this." I said as I handed her her drink.

I could tell she was hurt by my lack of affection.

But unfortunately for my heart, my brain actually controlled what came out of my mouth.

And right now my brain was replaying what Carmen had said.

"I missed you." My girlfriend said trying to get through to me.

"Yeah me too." I said with a half smile and backed out of her drive way.

Do you think they could invent a surgery that gives you heart access to your mouth?

The whole way to school I could feel the confusion and tension rolling off of her in waves hitting my heart directly.

It felt like the ocean shore just getting beaten to death in a hurricane. As we were coming up to the exit for our school their were two options.

You could go to the left, and it would take you to our school. Or you could go to the right, and it would take you to the beach.

Kinda messed up right? It was just taunting kids to skip school!

"Take a right." Comes sharply from the girl next to me.

Me being the eager to learn girl I am, didn't hesitate in skipping school.

I pulled up to a parking space and shut the car off.

Spencer got out and headed towards the water not waiting for me.

I've hurt her feelings. I can tell by the way she has her arms wrapped around herself.

"Great." I sigh out as I repeatedly slam my head into my steering wheel.

I'm hitting the horn with every smack, but I am too wrapped in my own self loathing to notice.

It's not until I hear a tap at my window that I stop.

My forehead is still down, but I turn so I can see out my window.

Spencer is standing there with an amused look on her face, a smile threatening to break out.

"Stop it your hurting Kevin." She says and walks back down to the water.

I can't help but let a half smile appear on my face. She would only care that I was hurting the car.

I finally remove myself and meet her down by the shore. Shes sitting so her toes are in the water when the tide rises.

The water is still freezing considering its only the middle of January.

I sit down beside her with a good distance between us. Spencer glances at the sand between us and lets out a frustrated sigh.

"What happened between last night and this morning?"

I can hear the hurt in her voice and it only makes my heart try to round house kick my brain. I drop my head in my hands and make that horse sound with my lips.

"Carmen." I say with my head still down.

"What about Carmen?" I can hear the jealous edge in her voice.

I know where she thinks this is going.

"She just said somethings this morning that I should have never let get to me." I tell my girlfriend looking up to meet her heart breaking face.

"What did she say?" she asks sharply.

I might as well tell her. Honesty seems to be inevitable around the blonde.

"She thinks everything is happening way to fast between us. She doesn't think that you really love me as much as you think you do. She doesn't think we should be together already." I say staring out at the ocean.

Its angry today.

Waves are breaking on each other and pushing the others down and out of the way.

"Okay, but you didn't tell me what you think. I don't care what Carmen or anyone else thinks. What do you think Ashley? Do you believe her?"

"I don't know," I say softly.

"Maybe we are moving to fast, I mean Aiden only did break up with you two days ago." I say glancing at her.

She looks pissed.

She looks hurt.

She looks like she's going to cry.

None of which I want, or ever will want to see on her face.

"What do I have to do to prove it to you Ashley?" she asks standing up.

Her tears are slowly coming down her face.

"Honestly what do I need to do to prove to you that I love you? We almost had sex the other day, is me giving you my body and soul not proof enough? I came clean to my parents about Aiden and I not being together, and I almost told them about us. I would have if you hadn't of stopped me. Is that not proof enough for you? I am risking loosing my whole family to be with you! Is that not proof enough?"

With every accusation her tears are coming harder and her voice is getting more broken.

And I feel like the hugest ass in the whole world.

"Do I need to prove it too you more? I'd do anything for you Ash, this ocean is freezing but I would go swim in it right now if it would make you believe me."

I can't say anything, my mouth is open and my eyes wide.

"Okay fine you still don't fucking believe me, alright." As she is saying this she is taking off her clothes.

"Spencer what are you doing?" I ask standing up panicked.

By the time I get up she is already shin deep in the freezing water.

She's wearing nothing but her bra and underwear. Any other time I would think this was hot. But not right now. Right now I am absolutely scared shitless.

"Spencer that water is freezing get back here right now!" I yell worried.

She could get sick, or if she goes to far out there get carried off by the angry waves.

"No Ashley, if this is the only way I can prove that I am so in love with you, then I'm going to prove it too you!"

Spencer is up to her shoulders in the rapid moving water now. Fuck she is going to keep getting further and further out there.

"Damn it!" I yell as I start to take off my own clothes.

"Holy shit!" I gasp when the water hits my waist.

I'm running as much as I can in water.

When I finally get to my ribs, I use my years of swim team to my advantage and go into a full freestyle sprint towards Spencer.

She is up to her neck when I get to her. I grab her waist and start dragging her back to shore.

I'm worn out from fighting the icy waves when we reach the shore. I collapse bringing us both down next to each other.

I'm slightly on top of her with my arm still around her waist. She is lying on her back looking up at me with worried eyes. She can obviously see I'm very very upset.

"What were you thinking!" I yell my voice breaking from emotion.

She opens her mouth to answer but I cut her off.

"You could have gotten killed Spencer! You could be sick or hurt! You, you..." I couldn't finish.

I was so angry at myself for making her think she needed to go to those lengths to prove she did in fact love me. I could feel the warm tears flowing rapidly down my face.

Spencer looks ready to cry herself.

When she reaches up to wipe away my tears I can't help but lean in and kiss her with everything I have.

Spencer wraps her arms around my neck and crushes our bodies together. I can feel the desperation in her kiss to prove her love. It only makes me cry harder. I try to convey reassurance in my kiss to her. I can't tell you how long we kissed. Eventually I felt the desperation leave her kiss, and nothing but love replace it.

Its only when I started to shiver uncontrollably that she broke our kiss. Even then I couldn't stop kissing her. I peppered kisses all over her face with whispered I love yous and I'm so sorrys.

"Ash babe your shaking." She says lifting my face to look in my eyes.

I can't really feel any part of my body now that I think about it. I finally take a good look at Spencer and her lips have a blue color to them.

"Y-y-your lips are b-b-bb-b-b.." I couldn't say blue before my body was over taken by shivers.

Spencer immediately leans us up and runs for my clothes leaving me on the ground shaking.

Why am I the one getting hypothermia? This is bullshit!

Spencer comes back with both of our clothes and helps me put mine on before she puts on her own and pulls me up to hold me. I still can't stop shaking.

"Can you walk to your car babe or do I need to carry you?" Spencer asks rubbing her hands everywhere on my body trying to warm me up.

"I-I-can m-m-mmake it." I say while taking a wobbly step forward.

Spencer takes a step with me and holds her arms around my waist. We finally make it to my car and it seems my shaking has only gotten worse.

"Thats it, your not driving, give me your keys."

When I start stuttering my refusal she just takes the keys out of my pocket and shoves me in the passengers side.

Okay I was really pissed now. I'm the only one getting hypothermia, and now I'm going to have to get a new car. Today was not my day.

Spencer gets in the drivers side and starts up the car. She cranks the heater up and pulls a hoddie from her bag and puts it on me.

I close my eyes at the warmth coming from the heater. Before I know it I'm drifting off to sleep.

When I open my eyes I'm at home in my bed. I have on long thick sweat pants that I know don't belong to me, and a large basketball hoodie. I'm under a pile of blankets and sweating horribly.

I break out of my furnace cage and begin to take off the layers of clothes. Once I get down to a beater and a pair of boxers I look around.

Next to my bed is a big glass of ice water that I quickly drink. I look next to me and lying in bed next to me in only a hoodie and a thick pair of long cotton shorts, is Spencer.

She's sleeping hard.

I get out of bed to go to the bathroom when I notice another body lying on the couch in my room.

The blanket is pulled up covering the persons face, but from the waist down is un coverd. Only one person I know sleeps like that.

Aiden.

When the body stirs and the blanket comes down to reveal a head of messy brown hair, and sleepy green eyes I cant help but smile. He goes to speak but I put a finger up to my lips and point at the bed.

He nods in understanding and follows me out in the hall.

As soon as I shut the door I turn and hug the boy in front of me.

"I've missed you meat head." I say into his chest.

"I've missed you too midget." He says with a chuckle.

"So," he says pulling back to look at my face. "Mind telling me what the hell happened?"


	18. Doing Things Right

"So," He says pulling back to look at my face.

"Mind telling me what the hell happened?"

I sigh and take his hand pulling us down the stairs and into the kitchen. I get a bottle of water out for both of us and sit on the counter facing him.

"We had a fight." I say simply hoping he will leave it at that.

"Did you decide to try and drown each other in the fucking freezing ocean?" My best friend asks with an edge in his voice.

"No!" I say louder than I was expecting.

"No, we didn't." I correct calmer.

"Then what happened Ashley, I was scared shitless when I got to the beach! You were practically the color of a smurf and Spencer was freaking out to bad to tell me what happened. She just kept saying it was her fault and not to be mad."

"How did you know where we were anyways?" I ask confused.

"Spencer text me and begged me to meet her at the beach. She said something was really wrong with you and to bring my basketball warm ups. Your still avoiding my original question you know." Aiden said bringing me back on track.

"Are you sure you really want to know Aiden?" I ask looking in the boys eyes.

He was in love with Spencer, and I really don't want to tell him what really happened out there.

"What ever it is Ash, you almost got really sick because of it. So it had to be important. If it was that important to you then, I can handle it."

"Carmen said things were happening too fast between Spencer and I. I let it get to me and freaked out. Spencer was trying to prove to me how much she cared for me by going in the ocean. I went in after her and got her back." I could see the surprise on Aidens face.

"I was so scared Aid." I told the boy.

My eyes started to water just thinking about if anything had happened to her. Aiden saw and got up to come hug me.

"I was more scared for you Ash." He says into my hair.

"Why do you think that I got so sick but not her Aid?"

He was going to become a doctor when he went to college.

Spencer gave up being with a doctor for me.

Hello new waves of guilt.

"You said you were scared right?"

I look up nodding at him.

"Well your heart was probably beating a lot faster than Spencers. So your heart was working harder to warm your body back up and it went into a state of shock pretty much. You were even shaking in your sleep Ash."

"I'm sorry I worried you meat head." I say burying my head in his chest.

"Yeah well, the next time you and Spence get in a fight, try to stay away from freezing water. Actually just stay in a padded room or something."

I couldn't help but laugh.

"You got it Dr. Dennison!" I say saluting him.

Aiden shoves me away and starts to walk to the front door.

"Where are you going?" I ask sadly.

"Dr. Dennison has saved his fair share of lives today, and needs to get back to school. And you need to go talk to Spencer." He points up for emphasis.

He turns to walk away again but stops and turns around to ask, "Are you guys together?"

I look down not knowing if I should tell him the truth. I feel a strong finger lift my head to look in his eyes.

"You can tell me anything Ash, your still my best friend."

All I can do is nod my head yes. I'm afraid that my voice will crack. My best friend just nods and kisses my forehead before walking out of my house.

I know how much this is killing him to be there for me.

Ah guilt, there you are! I've been wondering where you were!

A noise from up stairs brings me back to the current situation. I head up the stairs and open my bedroom door. Spencer is in the middle of shredding her layers of clothes like I had done earlier. When she pulls off her hoodie she sees I'm in the room.

"Its freakin hot!" She says pulling off her shorts.

She is now dressed just like I am, a beater and boxers.

"Here drink this" I say handing her a bottle of water.

She takes it immediately and downs half of it. I giggle at her as she pulls the bottle away and sighs. She has water on her chin so I use my thumb to wipe it off. My hand stays on her face longer than I expected. I got lost in the way she was looking at me. There was so much adoration on her face that it killed me knowing I had ever been dumb enough to question it.

"I love you." comes from my lips with out my knowing.

Hey, maybe that freezing water made my mouth and heart cooperate!

Spencer take my hand from her face and kisses each of my finger tips.

"I love you." She says looking in my eyes.

I know she was trying to see if I finally believed her. I did. With out doubt. I wrap my arms around her waist as hers go around my neck.

"I know you do baby." I tell her resting my forehead against hers.

When she lets out a sigh of relief I bring my lips a breath away from hers.

"Say it again." She whispers out.

"I know you love me baby." I bring my lips the rest of the way and connect fully with hers.

I know I will never get tired of this feeling. I think my heart might explode. I wonder if hers beats like mine? I raise my hand slowly from her waist and place it on her chest. I smile into our kiss at the feeling. I can feel it pounding against her trying to break free. I take one of her hands from around my neck and place it over my own heart.

When she feels it mirroring her own it sparks something in her. The only word I could describe it as would be, passion.

I feel her pulling us back towards my bed. She slowly starts to sit down, forcing me on top of her by pulling my shirt. Our kisses are starting to get deeper and rougher.

Spencer starts shimmying up my bed not letting me break our kiss. I was trying to slow down our kisses to calm us down. Spencer was having none of it. She slipped her hands around my waist and pulled me into her. She finally relented from my lips but went to my neck instead. I could feel her soft lips caressing the sensitive spot under my ear.

"Spencer, slow down for a second." I let out in ragged breaths.

The only response I got from the blonde under me, was teasing fingers on my stomach. Spencer was raking her fingernails across the skin above my boxers.

"Spencer, baby hold on for five seconds." I said laughing.

Spencer pulled back and raised her eyebrow. Gosh that was so hot! Focus Ashley focus!

"Uh..I um.." Damn I lost my train of thought.

"You were stopping us from having sex." The blonde says smirking at my brain fart. It didn't help that she had started tracing patterns on my stomach.

"Right! I was wondering, if you uh..."

"Yeah Ash?" Spencer says noticing how nervous I am.

"Would you, want to go out on a date with me? I know we're already together, but I really want to do this right. I have always wanted to be your girlfriend, and now that I have you all to myself, I want to make sure I make everything special for you. I want us to remember every detail years from now. So, Spencer will you please go out to dinner with me tomorrow night?"

The smile on my girlfriends face couldn't possibly be bigger.

"Yes Ash, I would love to go out with you." She pulls me back into a kiss.

I love her lips. I feel a warm tongue ask for entrance to my mouth. It only lasts a few seconds before Spencer pushes me off of her and get off my bed.

"Where are you going?" I ask confused.

"Oh, well if your wanting to do everything right, then we are not sleeping together before we even go on our first date." She says grinning wickedly at me.

Oh no she didn't.

"You are such a little tease!" I say gasping in fake horror.

"Yep! You want to do this right babe, I'm just following orders."

I get off the bed and wrap my beautiful girl in a hug.

"Your right. I do. I know its all kinda backwards, but I want to do at least one thing right."

"I know babe, I think its adorable."

She did not just call me adorable!

"You did not just say that!" I pout at her.

"Aww no, what I meant was sexy. Super duper sexy!" Spencer says pecking my pouting lips.

"Thats better! Now come cuddle with me I'm cold!" I say pulling Spencer back in bed with me.

We spent the rest of the day wrapped up in each others arms. Giving each other light kisses and touches. All the while my head was spinning with all the ideas I had for my first date with Spencer.

Tomorrow was going to be great!


	19. Dance Dance!

School could not go by quick enough!

I know what you thinking, and yes it amazes me that I went also! It meant I got to spend more time with Spencer, so I was all for it.

Now for the actual school part of that devil place, I didn't bother myself with it.

Two words for you.

Rich Father.

Speaking of dad I haven't heard much from him recently. Its not really a surprise it just is nice when he returns my calls.

My mom was home last night. I only know this because she left me some money on the kitchen counter with a note that said. 'Don't buy drugs, and stay out of jail.' It was one of the sweetest things she has ever said to me.

I wonder if she is sick or something.

Anywho!

Tonight was going to be perfect! I just needed to go make sure everything was set before we went. The entire way home from school Spencer kept asking me questions.

"What do I need to wear?" The blonde asked for the third time today.

"Just dress casual Spence, but make sure and bring a hoodie with you." I told the eager girl beside me.

She was bouncing around in her seat and playing with the windows. It was a warm day so I didn't mind.

See the thing about Spencer is, she tires to act like a mature adult around everyone. But around me, she can't help but let her inner child out. Which is why the date I had planned for tonight would be perfect!

Oh you want to know what I have planned? Well toooo baaad! Your going to have to find out when Spencer does :)

"Okay so like dressy casual right?" Spencer asked sticking her arm out the window.

"No, like casual casual. What you have on now would even be fine." I said changing the radio station.

"Um, no! For one, I wore this to school, and two you have already seen me in it so it wouldn't surprise you. I want to at least look a little hot."

"Trust me baby, you could be covered in mud and would still be hot." I told her smiling.

"Wait go back to that song I love it!" Spencer squealed.

I flipped the station back. It was a country song.

"Oh gross Spencer!" I complained, but left it there.

"I know you hate country Ash, but just this song! Please!" She pouted at me.

What she didn't know was I actually loved country music. I loved being in the country. There was nothing more beautiful than the stars when your out in the middle of nowhere.

Well on second thought, I think the girl sitting in my passengers seat had it beat.

My cousin Kyla had a ranch out in Oklahoma that I loved to sneak off too every now and then. I was actually planning on going for spring break.

"What are you doing for spring break?" I asked over the loud twang of Carrie Underwoods voice.

"Um, I'm not sure yet? Why?" She asked playing the air guitar.

She was so cute.

"I want you to go somewhere with me. It wont be anywhere fancy, but I absolutely love it."

"Okay!" She said smiling widely.

Almost as soon as her smile came, it was gone.

"Whats wrong baby?" I asked reaching for her hand.

"What if my parents wont let me go?"

Oh right, them. I forgot she had parents that cared.

"Ask your dad. He still loves me. Just tell your mom that your going to a nunnery with Madison so she can repent or something like that."

"Right!" she said laughing. "Actually that might be a good idea. I know my brother and her are planning on sneaking away together that week anyway. I probably wont say a nunnery, but I could say I was tagging along with them."

Excellent muahahhah! Sorry, I was watching Austin Powers on my ipod during my last class.

"Oh my gosh I love this song!" Comes flying out of my mouth before I can stop myself.

The radio was still on the country station.

Spencer mouth was open and she was staring at me.

"No freakin way! You like country music! Since when?" She says with a huge smile.

"Since you got me listening to it." I say bashfully. "Actually this song reminds me of you a lot."

"I've never heard this one. You should sing it to me Ash." The blonde said jokingly.

I don't think she believed me that I actually knew this song. Boy was she wrong. I glanced at her from the corner of my eye and started belting it out.

Girl, I been thinkin' 'bout us  
>And you know I ain't good at this stuff<br>These feelings pilin' up won't give me no rest

Spencer had her mouth open again. I just laughed and kept singing.

This might come out a little crazy  
>A little sideways, yeah maybe<br>I don't know how long it'll take me but I'll do my best  
>I took our joined hands and used it as a microphone.<p>

If you'll be my soft and sweet  
>I'll be your strong and steady<br>You'll be my glass of wine  
>I'll be your shot of whiskey<br>You'll be my sunny day  
>I'll be your shade tree<br>You'll be my honeysuckle  
>I'll be your honey bee <p>

By this point she was smiling and laughing right along with me.

Yeah, that came out a little country  
>But every word was right on the money<br>And I got you smilin' honey right back at me  
>Now hold on cause I ain't done<br>There's more where that came from  
>Well you know I'm just havin' fun, but seriously<p>

If you'll be my Louisiana  
>I'll be your Mississippi<br>You'll be my little Loretta  
>I'll be your Conway Twitty<br>You'll be my sugar baby  
>I'll be your sweet iced tea<br>You'll be my honeysuckle  
>I'll be your honey bee <p>

Ironic enough she leaned in and kissed me as we rolled up to a stop light. I pulled back and she looked at me confused. I just smiled and sang the next lyrics looking at her.

Your kiss just said it all  
>I'm glad we had this talk<br>Nothing left to do but fall in each others arms

I wiggled my eye brows at her and she hit my arm playfully.

I coulda said I love you  
>Coulda wrote you a line or two<br>Baby, all I know to do is speak right from the heart

If you'll be my soft and sweet  
>I'll be your strong and steady<br>You'll be my glass of wine  
>I'll be your shot of whiskey<br>You'll be my sunny day  
>I'll be your shade tree<br>You'll be my honeysuckle  
>I'll be your honey bee<p>

By the time I finished the song we had arrived at her house.

"I can not believe you complained every time I made us listen to country when you have liked it this whole time!" Spencer said throwing her hands up in the air.

"What can I say, I like to keep the surprises coming. Which reminds me, I need to go make sure everything is set up for tonight! I'll see you at 6?" I asked my girlfriend.

"Yes you will, honey bee." I smiled before she leaned over and kissed me.

It was short, but it was really sweet.

"I love you baby." I said before she got out of the car.

"I love you too."

I made sure she got in her house safely before I pulled away to go see Carmen. I know she caused a lot of unnecessary trouble yesterday, but she was only trying to help. I thought she might cry when I told her what had happened after I left Starbucks. So needless to say she was more than willing to help me out with tonights plans.

"Okay so all you need to do is have the blanket and food there at 9:15 exaclty. We should be getting there around 9:20 or so." I told Carmen again.

"I got it I got it!" She yelled in frustration.

I had told her this at least four times.

"Sorry, I just want to make sure this goes over smoothly." I told her calmly.

"Are you sure she is going to like this Ash? I mean it is kinda, I dont mean to be harsh or anything. But this seems lame to me."

"Shut up! She is going to love it, I hope. Just because your old now doesn't mean you have to try and spoil our young kids fun!" I said sticking my tongue out at her.

She had just turned twenty one.

"Hey you shut up! This 'old lady' can still put you in your place. Would you like to be thrown over my shoulder right now? No, didn't think so." Carmen said with a raised eye brow.

"No, gosh old people are cranky." I took off running before she could catch me.

After that I went home and got changed. I was wearing a pair of dark blue skinny jeans with black converse. I had on a black Hurley shirt with a dark gray Fall Out Boy hoodie over my arm.

Sometimes I couldn't help but go back to my punk rock self. I called Carmen one more time to make sure everything was ready. The whole way to Spencer house I had Fall Out Boy blasting from my speakers.

"I don't blame you for being you, but you cant blame me for hating it. She said what are you waiting for kiss her, kiss her. I set my clocks early cause you know I'm always late!" I was singing at the top of my lungs and trying to fight the nerves that were creeping up.

I pulled into Spencers drive way and was in the middle of air drumming to Dance Dance by FOB when I got a text from Spencer.

_Dance dance! We're falling apart to half time! Xx Spence_

I smiled and turned down the wonderful voice of Patrick Stump.

_Y dnt u show me a lil bit of spark u'v been saving for MY mattress! ;) Xx Ash _

_lol GET IN HERE! My dad said you have to come to my door nd say hi 2 him. Xx Spence_

Well that didn't add to my nerves at all!

_Sugar we're goin down swinging? Lol xx Ash_

I get out of my car and knock on the front door. Not even a second later Spencer answers the door. She look absolutely beautiful.

She has on a light blue fited polo with light blue jeans. She has on white K-Swiss with light blue laces to match her shirt.

Aww my baby had swag...or something like that.

"You look beautiful Spence." I tell her giving her a hug.

She always smelt so good! With out thinking I lean in and kiss her cheek. We're staring at each other when we hear a someone clearing their throat from the hall. My eyes go wide when they see Spencers dad standing there with a smirk on his face.

"Hi Mr. Carlin!"


	20. Night Out part 1

"Hi !" I yelped as I stood back from Spencer.

"Hello Ashley." he said chuckling. "Spencer, your mom wants you to go see her before you leave."

"Okay, I'll be right back Ash." Spencer bounced off to the kitchen.

"It's good to see you Ashley, I was afraid you weren't going to come back after that sermon you gave the other night." the dark haired man laughed walking towards me.

"Oh, um, yeah I wanted to apologize about that. I "

"No need to apologize, I was actually pretty impressed."

"Um, thanks." I said nervously.

"So where are you two girls off to tonight?"

"I'm just going to take Spence to a show and get something to eat. What time would you like her to be back Mr. Carlin?"

"How many times am I going to have to tell you to call me Arthur?"

"At least once more Mr. Carlin." I told my girlfriends father.

"Okay Ash I'm ready to go!" Spencer said as she skipped back into the room. I couldn't help but smile.

She was so cute.

All the time.

"Okie dokie! I was just asking your dad what time he wanted you home." I said looking back to the older Carlin.

"Just whenever you two get done, but it is a school night so try and make it in before the sun comes up will you?" Mr. Carlin said smiling at us.

"Thank you dad!" Spencer said giving him a hug.

"Your welcome sweet heart, you guys have fun. Ashley it was a good seeing you, will you still be joining us this Sunday for church?"

Crap I forgot about that.

"If the invitation is still there, then I would love too Mr. Carlin."

"Good, I will see you then."

"Absolutely, have a good rest of your night." I said holding the door open for Spencer.

Once I shut the front door behind us, Spencers hand found mine.

"I always love hearing you talk to my parents, you get all proper and polite." The blonde says.

"What, can I not act like a civilized person every once in a while?" I asked opening the car door for my girlfriend.

I got in the drivers side and began to pull out of the driveway.

"So do I get to know where we are going now?" Spencer asked bouncing in her seat.

"Nope not yet. Did you bring your jacket?"

"Shoot! I forgot, do you mind turning around?"

I laughed and rolled my eyes. "Of course you didn't. Don't worry, I came prepared." I reached in my back seat and gave her my blue Holister hoodie.

"Aww look it even matches my outfit, were you watching me get dressed Ash?" She asks serious.

"Mayyybe." I tell her wiggling my eyebrows.

The rest of the drive is filled with playful banter and singing along with the radio. Spencer kept asking me to sing her all these country songs and would be totally surprised when I knew every word. When we finally reached our desination I couldn't help but laugh at the look on Spencers face.

"Where the hell are we Ash?" the blonde asked looking around.

"We're at the fair grounds Spencer." I told her as I got out.

I put the child lock on her side of the car so she couldn't get out with out me opening the door for her.

"Aww well aren't you sweet." She says taking my offered hand.

"No I only did that so I could leave you in the car if I wanted to bail on you." I told her kissing her cheek.

"Oh your being a real sweet talker now huh?"

"Only with you baby."

"So what are we doing at the fair grounds Ash? There aren't even any rides here yet."

"I know, just grab your jacket and follow me miss lady." Spencer grabbed her jacket and locked her fingers with mine.

I couldn't help but start swinging our arms back and forth. We were headed towards I big round building with tons of families headed inside. Spencer kept looking at all the kids as we headed inside.

"Okay now I know something is really up. There are tons of kids everywhere, and you hate kids." My girlfriend said looking from me to them.

"Will you just hush and wait until we get inside!"

I reached in my pocket and pulled out our tickets handing them to the woman behind the glass.

"Alright ladies your seats will be located on the right side of the rink on the very first row."

We thanked to woman and went inside. Once we were inside the rink an usher helped us locate our seats.

"Good thing you told me to bring a jacket Ash. It would have helped if you told me we were going to be in an ice rink the whole night though." She laughed shrugging on her jacket.

"Well I didn't want you to think we were going to be watching a hockey game or something." I told her. I grabbed both her hands in mine to keep them warm.

"Okay, so if we're not at a hockey game, what are we doing here?" She asked still confused.

Just then a boy about seven years old sat down next to me with a Buzz Lightyear action figure.

"Look I got Buzz!" The excited boy yelled next to me.

"Yes you sure did buddy!" I told him laughing.

"Wait!" Comes suddenly from my girlfriend. "Is this Toy Story 3 on ice?" She asked a smile breaking out on her gorgeous face.

"You took me to Toy Story 3 on ice!" She yelled excitedly.

Toy Story 3 was Spencers favorite movie. She had made me watch all three of them countless times, but the third one was her absolute favorite. She cried every time at the end when Andy would give that little girl his toys.

"Yes I did. But this is only the first part of the date baby so don't fill up on cotton candy!" I warned her as she spotted the man walking around with the sugary treat.

"Oh my gosh Ash this is going to be so much fun thank you thank you thank you!" She squealed peppering kisses all over my face.

"Your welcome," I laughed through the attack. "And if your good I'll buy you something at intermission!"

That just brought on a new wave of kiss attacks. Not that I was minding at all. The lights flickered to signal for every one to take their seats. The arm rest between our chairs could raise up, so I moved it and brought Spencer into my arms. I had both my arms wrapped around her waist and she was leaning into my chest looking out to the rink in front of us.

The lights finally went off and the characters skated out onto the ice to start the show. About twenty minuets into the performance Spencer was no longer in my arms.

Instead she was leaning onto the wall in front of her trying to get as close as she could. Every now and then she would glance back at me if something funny happened to see if I was laughing, and of course I was. I was having more fun at her reaction than the actual show. As promised at intermission I took her to the lobby of the arena and told her to pick whatever she wanted.

"Ash, I can't decide. I want them all!" She pouted looking at the toys.

"Then get them all baby." I told the blonde.

"Really!" She asked hoping up and down.

"Yes really." I said watching the bouncing girl.

She picked out one stuffed animal of each character. When we hauled every thing over to the clerk I thought her eyes were going to pop out of her head.

"You want all of this?" She asked eying the load of toys.

"Yep!" I told her grinning as Spencer gave me a kiss on the cheek of thanks.

It took three shopping bags to carry all of Spencers stuffed animals.

Then naturally she wanted some pop corn.

But then she saw the cotton candy.

And it wouldn't be a a complete trip if she didn't have one of those light up spinning things. And we needed drinks to go with our pop corn and cotton candy.

I swear I thought my arms were going to fall off by the time I got back to our seats. Spencer tried to pay for our drinks and snacks but I wouldn't let her. I told her I asked her out it was going to be my treat.

"Thank you so much babe, I'm having so much fun. Are you having a good time?" The blonde asked while taking a big bite of cotton candy.

"Yes I'm having a wonderful time baby. Anything I do with you would be fun." I said bringing her into me.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and waited for the show to resume.

"I love you Spence." I whispered in her ear.

"I love you too Ash." She said leaning her head back giving me a kiss.

I tightened my hold on her as our kiss lingered. It was just slow and sweet. The lights lowering broke Spencer out of our kiss and her attention was immediately back on the ice. She didn't move the rest of the show, and at the end I could hear her sniffle as Andy gave his toys away. I giggled and kissed the top of her head before the lights came up. We both stood up and she turned and faced me.

"That was really sweet of you Ashley thank you for taking me here." Spencer said putting her arms around my neck.

"Well your welcome baby I'm glad you enjoyed it, but the night isn't over yet." I leaned in and gave her a short kiss before grabbing my babies stuff and heading to the car.

"There is more?" She laughed helping me carry her toys.

"Yep, we're just getting started."


	21. Night Out part 2

**Hey guys! Sorry its a short chapter but i didnt want to go any further yet. The chapter after this one is going to be rated M just a warning to everyone. Thank you everyone who read and reviewed! I love all of them and they all make me smile! Now here is the second part of the date i hope you enjoy! :)**

* * *

><p>We walked out of the arena and towards my car and I kept sneaking glances at Spencer. She hadn't stopped smiling since the show ended.<p>

"Whatcha smiling about?" I ask bumping my shoulder into hers.

Spencer looks over at me and smiles even wider. "Nothing, I just can't believe you sat through three hours of people singing and dancing in over sized costumes for me."

Shit that thing was three hours?

I didn't even notice.

"Spence I knew you would love it, and it really wasn't that bad. I didn't even know it was that long. I was content with having you in my arms for most of it."

Spencer stopped walking and looked at me.

"What?" I asked stopping along side her.

"I love you." My girlfriend says before leaning in to kiss me.

I put down the sacks of toys and wrap my arms around her waist bringing out bodies together. I can feel a soft patch of skin sneaking out of her shirt on her lower back. I can't help but let my fingernails slowly rake across the exposed area.

I hear Spencer let out a sigh before I feel her tongue sweep across my lower lip. I graciously accept her request and hold her tighter against me.

Then it hits me.

"Wait that was three hours long? What time is it?" I ask frantically looking for my phone. "

Why Ash, whats wrong?" Spencer asks watching me amused.

"Oh hell its ten. Come on we have to hurry." I grab the bags off the ground and get in the car.

I pull out my phone and see seven missed calls and twelve texts from Carmen. I send her a text saying we are just now leaving the arena.

"I didn't realize that was going to be so long and now the rest of the night is behind schedule! Urggh I couldn't just get this" I was quickly cut off my Spencers lips on mine again.

"Babe, this night has been perfect so far, everything else will be too." I sigh and take her hand in mine.

"Thanks baby." I say kissing the back of her hand.

I put the car in drive and head off to our next destination. When we pull into a parking space I see a car speeding away.

I bet that was Carmen.

I get out and open the door for Spencer before taking her hand in mine.

We're out practically in the middle of nowhere. Well as middle of nowhere as you can get for LA.

Its an old park that hardly anyone comes to anymore on the outskirts of the city. Its surrounded by trees and is completely open in the middle.

Off to one side you can see a picnic table with some old christmas lights lighting the area around it. There are only a few pieces of playground equipment that are usable anymore. There is a see saw and one swing. I had already checked the swing to make sure it was stable enough to use.

I led Spencer over to the picnic table to find our food set up already on the table.

Carmen must have run to make some fresh because it was now 10:35 and our food was still hot.

I would have to pay her back for that later.

I had made us mac and cheese and chicken nuggets. What I have trouble cooking anything that would need actual skill!

"Ash oh my gosh, this is amazing." Spencer said jumping up and down.

We sat down next to each other and started eating our gourmet meal.

"So are you having a good time Spence?" I ask feeding her a chicken nugget.

She takes a giggling bite before answering. "Yeah Ash I am. I can't remember the last time I had this much fun. How about you, are you having fun?" She asks feeding me a way too big scoop of mac 'n cheese.

I take in the huge mouth full of food nodding my head up and down.

"I do have one more surprise for you though." I tell her after I swallowed my food.

"Really Ash, all of this has been more than enough. I don't know if I can handle anymore cuteness from you with out kissing you and never stopping." She said grabbing my hands.

"Well in that case, I have many, many more surprises for you baby." I say giving her a quick peck before standing up.

I lead her out into the middle of the clearing and tell her to wait there. I walk over behind one of the trees and find what I was looking for. I reach down and plug it in hoping everything would turn out right.

I let out a sigh of relief when I hear the music start to play and the park light up. I had been out here for hours stringing lights through the trees around the park.

Carmen had helped a lot with the sound system. I walked back around the tree to see Spencer looking around the park with amazement.

"Oh my gosh Ashley how did you do all of this?" She asks spinning around.

"I had some help." I tell her as I walk over.

Once I reach her I grab her hand and spin her around. When she comes back around I bring her into me and we start swaying to the music.

"When did you become so romantic?" She asks tilting her head.

"I have always been romantic." I tell her seriously. " I just haven't had an excuse to show it until now."

I have my arms around her waist and hers are around my neck. Spencer leans her forehead against mine as we continue to sway to the music.

"I love you." I whisper after a few minuets of silence.

"I love you too." I hear before I feel her lips on mine. The longer we kiss the more heated it gets. I can feel Spencer heart beating rapidly in her chest, and I'm positive mine is doing the same thing.

Spencers hands start to tangle themselves in my hair trying to bring me closer to her. I felt Spencer trying to pull me to the ground so I broke the kiss.

"What now?" She asks breathless.

I had to smile. I reached up and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Are you ready to head back to my house for a bit, or do you want to stay here longer?"

Spencer took a second to look around the park.

"I wanna stay here for a little longer." she said walking over to the swing.

I followed her and started pushing her on the swing from behind.

"Ash, why do you stop things right as their about to get good?" Spencer asks laughing and looking back at me.

I'm a little shocked at her forwardness.

"I uh, well I just want it all to be in the right moment I guess. I've never been in a relationship, or been with someone I cared about before. I don't want you too look back on our first time together and wish you had waited. I wont ever push you into doing something your not comfortable or ready for."

By this time she had stopped swinging and had turned to face me.

"I'm ready to go back to your house now." Spencer says dragging me back to the car.

"Are you sure?" I sqeek out surprised.

"Yes Ash. You said we were going by my pace right?"

I nod my head.

"Well then I'm ready. I know that you would never push anything on me, or do anything to make me un happy. Hell you watched me date your best friend for years with out saying anything about how it hurt you. I don't want to waste anymore time not being with you an every way possible." Spencer brings her hands up to cradle my face.

"I'm ready." She says leaning in to kiss me. "Now lets go."


	22. Beautiful Night

**Hey every one. I'm extremly sorry for the long wait. My inspiration for this story tore my world apart recently and if I wrote anymore of this story it probably would have ended up with Paula finding them in the park with a shotgun and Spashley would be no more lol. So I waited until I could finish the chapter. Frequent updates will be coming so I hope I haven't lost anybody. I have a lot of new ideas for this story and its going to get crazy. This chapter is rated M just a warning. And it is also in Spencers point of view. I hope you enjoy. Sorry again for the delay.**

**SPOV**

If I had to describe what I was feeling in one word, that word would be clusterfuck.

My insides were in a clusterfuck.

The whole way to Ashleys house I was looking from her, to my hands, back to her, and out the window. Everytime my eyes landed on her, she got a slight smirk but kept her eyes on the road.

We pulled into Ashleys driveway and she came to let me out.

She had been so great this whole night. I didn't think it was possible to love her anymore after tonight. She had planned everything perfectly and it only made me anxious to see how the rest of the night would go. We both knew the reason we came back to her empty house, but when Ash opened my car door all I could think about was how perfect her hand fit in mine.

It wasn't rough and too big like Aidens.

She never held too tight, or drug me along.

It was just, right.

Before I knew it we were in her house and everything seemed normal. I was half expecting rose petals and someone following us around with a violin. I kept glancing around waiting on someone to pop out. Ashley saw the cautious look on my face and smiled.

"Expecting someone?" She asked taking my jacket from me and hanging it in the closet.

"No I was just anticipating some grand gesture or something." I said waving my arms around.

Ashley just smiled and shook her head and said, "Well you haven't seen my room yet."

With that she took my hand and started leading me up the stairs.

The nervous clusterfuck feeling came back. Right before we entered her room she turned around and faced me.

"This doesn't mean we have to do anything Spence. Okay?"

"I know Ash, but I want to." I told her as I kissed the back of her hand.

The brunette nodded her head and pushed open her door and stepped back so I could go in first.

There were a few candles around her room but other than that there was no light. A bouquet of purple iris's were laying on her bed with a card that had mine name on the envelope. It was actually all very simple.

"You call this a grand gesture?" I teased as I walked over to the flowers.

"Well I figured everything else tonight was a little over the top romantic, so this could be simple. Just us, no big light show, or tons of stuffed animals. Just you and me." She looked down after she said this and even in the low light I could see the blush on her cheeks.

I decided not to embarrass her further and picked up the card to read. I opened the card to reveal Ashleys own messy but some how elegant hand writing.

_Spencer, I hope tonight has meant as much to you as it has to me. Your everything I always wanted. Love Ashley._

It was simple.

It was sweet.

It was everything I have ever wanted someone to say to me.

When I looked back over at Ashley she was grinning shyly at me and playing with her hands. It was adorable to see her this unguarded.

"Thank you Ash. Tonight has been almost perfect." I say walking to the vase in the room to put my flowers in it.

"Almost?" Ashley says in a worried voice.

I turn to walk towards her and smile at the questioning look on her face. She has her eyebrow quirked up and a slight frown in place. I didn't say anything else. I simply walked over to her and took her face in my hands. Her hands instantly found my hips and started stroking the skin where my shirt had ridden up.

Her eyes were a whiskey color right now and I couldn't help but get lost in them for what seemed like a life time. I eventually broke our starring contest to look down at her lips and back in her eyes. She got what I wanted but only brought her lips an inch away from mine. Her eyes were closed and both of our breathing was already starting to get deeper.

I finally closed the distance between us. As soon as our lips came in contact with one another a felt a fire spread throughout my body. Ashley was trying to keep the kiss slow as always, but it just wasn't going to cut it this time.

Ashley brought out a side in me that I never knew I had before. She could get my heart pounding with just a simple look, or a slight touch. But when we kissed it was something I never knew I could feel. It was pure passion, and I wanted nothing more than to share everything I was feeling with her. To let her be a part of me completely.

As embarrassing as this is to admit, Aiden never gave me the big O if you know what I'm getting at. I had always just faked it.

I began to back up towards her bed and took her with me. I knew she would try and go agonizingly slow and stop to ask me 'are you sure' at least five times if she was on top. So I gradually turned us and shoved her on the bed making her go a good distance landing in the center of the bed on her back. To say she was surprised would be an understatement. Her mouth was open and her eyes were wide, and dark. They had lost their whiskey color and were almost black looking now.

"That was so fucking hot." She breathes out as I'm crawling up the bed to her.

I don't waste anytime bringing our lips back together. I almost thought Ashley was going to give in and help me speed things up, until I was being slammed on my back with her smirking above me. She was right. That was definitely hot.

"Spencer, we're going to take this slow. We have until the sun comes up remember?" My girlfriend said glancing at the clock. "So we have another seven hours."

I let a smile break out on my face. My dad did say before the sun came up.

Ashley smiled back and me and slowly lowered her body down into mine kissing me instantly. I let her set the pace this time. She was right, there was no need to rush. We kissed slow and deep. Our tongues dancing with each other softly. I could feel Ashley's shirt had ridden up on her sides and slowly drew patterns over the skin, inching her shirt higher and higher.

I got it up to her ribs before she wouldn't let me take it any higher. I took what I was giving and began to explore her soft, but toned back. I could feel goosebumps break out where ever my hands touched. Our kissing was starting to get more aggressive, and when Ashley bit down on my bottom lip I couldn't help but gasp. I felt the girl above me smile into this kiss at the affect she was having on me. My hands were starting to get more adventurous as they made their was to her tight ass.

The brunette let out a deep sigh as I began to squeeze and massage the firm flesh. Every time my hands tightened her hips would unconsciously come down into mine, making our centers press against each other briefly. The light pressure was teasing more than anything. Trying to get more contact between us I began pulling her into me in a slow rhythmic motion. My hips would rise to meet hers in a synchronized dance. When I was sure I wouldn't have to pull her into me anymore my hands continued to wander the soft skin on her back.

Like I had hoped her hips didn't stop their movement. Breathing was becoming an issue so I reluctantly pulled away from the lips I was becoming very addicted to. Ashley didn't seem deterred by my lack of oxygen. When our lips parted she attached hers to my very sensitive neck, placing kisses and bites in random spots. When she bit down on my pulse point I couldn't help but dig my nails in her back slightly. I heard her breath hitch at my actions as she continued to assault my neck. A small smile played on my lips having found my girlfriends weak spot. I slowly moved my wondering hands up to her bra strap and unhooked it effortlessly.

I felt her tense slightly but continued kissing my neck when my hands went back down to the small of her back. I need to feel her lips back on mine so I caught her chin and guided her back to where I needed her. My hands tangled themselves in the soft brunette locks. I was giving slight tugs eliciting small whimpers from the girl above me. Suddenly I felt a strong thigh slip between my own pressing against the growing ache between my legs.

The surprising movement felt so good a small moan escaped me. I arched my hips into her leg to try and get more friction. Ashley started back up our rhythm as I mirrored her actions. I needed to feel more of her so I tried again to remove her shirt with no luck. When she said we were going to go slow, I didn't think she meant this slow!

Remembering her reaction earlier gave me an idea. I removed my hands from her hair and slowly ran them down her shoulders to her back. I reached under her shirt so my hands were slowly caressing the skin on her shoulder blades. I broke our kiss again and as I was expecting she went for my neck. She placed a few light kisses before biting down firmly. A whimper came from my throat unexpectedly and I raked my fingernails down her back. I low moan came from the brunette which only caused me to dig in harder. Ashley brought her head up to look in my eyes. She had a small smirk and her eyes were black with lust.

"Someone is being naughty." She breathed out raggedly while grinding into me firmly.

My eyes closed and my head leaned further into the pillow. I felt her move so she was straddling and as I opened my eyes again. I watched intently as she slowly slid off her shirt keeping her unclasped bra covering her breasts. I kept eye contact with her as I ran my hands up her thighs and across her toned stomach. I reached the middle of her bra and looked down to it and back in her dark brown eyes.

She nodded her head telling me it was okay to remove the lacy article. I didn't look away from her eyes until I threw it on the floor. I have never seen another woman besides myself except for in movies. None of those movies stars had anything on the girl in front of me.

I timidly reached out to take the perfect mounds in my hands. The feeling of her hard nipples on my palm was very surreal. I gently massaged the weight of them in my hands, getting used to the feeling. Ashley let out a shaky sigh and let her head fall back slightly. After a minuet or two of doing that I took a nipple and rolled it between my fingers.

"Oh fuck." slipped from the brunettes lips as I continued to roll both nipples between my fingers, tugging now and then.

"Does it really feel that good?" I asked seriously.

Ashley brought her hands over mine to stop my movements.

"Sit up" she requested in a whisper. I did as she said and waited. Her hands left mine and slowly went down to the hem of my shirt. She looked in my eyes for permission before lifting my shirt over my head to join the pile of growing clothes on the floor. I brought my arms down and wrapped them behind her back. She leaned in and began to kiss me again.

A few minuets later I felt her hands tracing up my back and stopping at my bra. I nodded into the kiss, telling her it was okay. I felt her slowly pop the clamps of my bra and slid it off. With out breaking the kiss she lowered us back down to the bed. We both let out content sighs as our bare top halves connected for the first time.

Ashley positioned her leg back between mine. Giving pressure but not moving. I felt her soft hand gliding up my stomach and stopping before she reached my breast. She propped herself up on her arm and looked over my body for the first time. I suddenly became very self conscious.

"Spence," I hear her whisper causing me to look up. "You are so beautiful."

The rest of this night was spent tangled in bed sheets and each other. We eventually fell asleep holding on to one another. Ashley was gentle and patient with me. She had made me feel things I never knew were possible both physically and emotionally. I was in a deep sleep when I felt light kisses being placed across my shoulder and neck.

"Assshhh" I mumbled out sleepily. She continued to kiss me.

"Ash, seriously five times is enough." I said scooting further into her despite my words.

"Come on baby you have to wake up." I felt her whisper against my ear.

"But why?" I wined, not wanting to move from the comfort of her arms.

"Because its almost 5 and we have school today."

I rolled onto my other side to face her. Her hair was a mess and it looked like she hadn't slept all night. She looked like an angle.

"What do I get if I get up?" I asked trailing my fingers up her arms.

Ashley got a sly smile on her face and said, "I might give you a kiss if your lucky, but you have to be dressed and downstairs in 10."

With that she hopped out of bed, still naked I might add.

I watched her with what I'm sure was a hungry expression, as she got dressed.

We had taken showers earlier, which was were the fifth time I was talking about earlier took place.

If you have never had sex in a shower, make it a bucket list activity.

Once she got dressed she headed downstairs yelling that I only had six minuets left now. I quickly got up and threw on my clothes with a few minuets to spare. I walked in the kitchen to see Ashley making a pot of coffee and some pop tarts.

"I would have made pancakes or something but I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed." My girlfriend says handing me a mug.

"This is perfect babe." I say sitting at the island.

We start to eat our breakfast in silence before my curiosity gets the better of me.

"So.." I start slowly. "Last night, was I uh, you know. Was I any good?" I ask looking down.

I feel her take my hand so I look up in her eyes.

"Spencer, you made me feel better than anyone ever has. You were perfect." the brunette says kissing the back of my hand.

I smile at her and I feel a blush spreading across my face.

"Come on beautiful, lets get you home before the sun comes up."

We pull into my drive right as the sun begins to peak over the horizon.

"I had a great time last night Ash. Thank you so much for everything."

"It was no problem Spencer. I enjoyed every minuet."

I lean over the console to give her a kiss.

"I love you" I whisper before kissing her soft lips slowly.

"I love you too." She says once I finally pull back. "Now get inside before that sun rises young lady. I will not break my word to your father."

I shake my head but gather my things anyway.

"I'll see you in an a bit." Ashley says before taking off.

I try my best to open my door quietly with all the things I have in my hands.

I really did go a little over bored with the stuffed animals.

Just as I'm about to go up stairs I hear a throat clear from the living room. I nearly drop everything as I spin around. My dad is standing there with a grin and a cup of coffee.

"Good morning." He says smiling.

"The sun isn't all the way up yet." I tell him grinning like a kid in trouble.

My wonderful father just laughs and walks back into the kitchen. I assume I'm off the hook and head up to my room to get ready for school.

I set down my bags and get out my favorite toy. Its a big stuffed bear named Lotso.

In the movie he smells like strawberries and somehow the geniuses at Disney found a way to make a toy that actually smells like strawberries.

Yes I know that the bear is mean in the movie, but my bear is not! He is sweet and wonderful.

Okay I really need to stop acting like a little kid.

I hug the bear and lay down for a few minuets.

Suddenly it hits me why I like the bear so much.

Ashley smells like strawberries.

A smile spreads across my face remembering last night and this morning.

I was so in love.

It was almost overwhelming how much I was in love with her. I just hoped everything kept going as smoothly as it had yesterday.

I couldn't help but get a feeling in the pit of my stomach as I heard my mother walking down the hall and greeting my father. I knew I couldn't keep Ashley and I a secret forever, but I just hoped she would understand it would have to be that way for a while.

I felt my phone buzz in my pocket and wondered who would be awake right now.

_I love you. Xx Ash _

A huge grin spread across my face.

Everything would be okay.

For now at least.


	23. Never Let Go

It has been two weeks since my first date with Spencer, and I have never been happier.

We have gotten into a routine. Every morning I pick her up for school, we sit together at lunch, she comes to my house after school, and I have her home by dinner.

Aiden has even began to sit with us at lunch. Its really nice to be able to be around both of them at the same time again. No one but him knows Spencer and I are together.

And unless we're behind closed doors you would never be able to tell. Its not that I don't want to show the world that Spencer is all mine.

It's just if her mom found out, I know our little happy bubble would be popped immediately. So we hide our relationship. It doesn't bother me right now, as long as she is in my arms at some point in the day then I am happy.

I just got back to my house and Aiden is here. Spencer needed to go home right after school today so I told Aiden to stop by. I open the front door and head to where I know he'll be, the game room. As I get closer I hear the unmistakable sound of Mario.

I plop down next to him on the couch and watch in silence as he beats Bowser in a battle.

"Take that you ugly ass turtle thing!" Aiden yells next to me.

He always takes video games too personally. The boy next to me sets down the controller and smiles.

"How long have you been trying to beat that game?" I ask laughing.

"Since I got here! The shit head just wouldn't die!" He says waving his arms around.

"So how are things with Spencer?" he asks out of nowhere.

"Um, good." I say hesitantly.

"Ash," he starts, "You can talk to me about it. Spencer and I have worked out our problems. I don't even feel mad about it anymore. She and I are better off as friends anyways."

I cant tell if he is just saying this for my benefit or if he actually means it.

"We're good. I honestly have never been this happy." I can't help but smile.

"Good. I can tell she makes you happy Ash. And as long as your happy then I will be supportive of you." My best friend says giving me a hug.

"I actually am taking someone on a date tomorrow." He says with a big grin.

"No way! Who who who! Tell me everything! Is she pretty? Do I know her? How long have you liked her?" I ramble shaking his arm.

"Woah woah woah! One question at a time! Okay, you have to promise not to hit me okay?" He says holding his hands up.

"I make no promises, but I will try." I tell him seriously.

"Okay," he sighs. "Its Madison."

"WHAT! Are you an idiot? Do you not remember how she dumped you? And isn't she with Glen? Isn't she PREGNANT?" I would have continued but he put his hand over my mouth to stop me.

"She and Glen broke up about a week ago. She thought she was pregnant, but it turned out to be just a scare. I'm the first one she called when she found out and we just got to talking. She has changed a lot Ash. She isn't the girl she pretends to be at school."

This was all just getting too weird.

"Does she make you happy Aid?" I ask after some thought.

Aiden gets a goofy grin on his face and nods.

"Then if your happy I'm happy." I tell him giving him a side hug.

"Thank you Ash. That means a lot to me"

"Yeah yeah. If she hurts you, I will break her face." I say in all seriousness.

Aiden just laughs and goes back to playing his game.

"How are you and Glen? Are you two still friends?" I ask after a few minuets.

"We're still cool, I actually need to get going. We're going to the gym soon." He says standing up.

"Aww now what I am supposed to do? I don't want to sit here alone." I pout.

"You could always come with us." Aiden offers slipping on his shoes.

"Yeah right, thats what I want to do. Go watch bevus and butt head get sweaty and talk about god knows what. Thanks but no thanks."

"Your loss. Your could use a little exercise. Since swim season ended you've been getting a little out of shape." He teases poking my tone stomach.

"I have not!" I yell feeling my abs.

"Whatever you say Ash." He says walking out of the room.

Maybe I could use I little bit of a work out, and hey it means I'll get to see Spencer if we're picking up Glen.

"Give me five minuets to change!" I yell running up into my room.

I change into a spots bra and some basketball shorts before looking for my pumas.

Once I find everything I send Spencer a text seeing if she wanted to come with us since we were coming over. I didn't get a response.

Hmm thats odd. She always answers.

Aiden and I hop in his Ford truck and drive to the Carlins.

When we reach the door I can hear yelling inside. Aiden and I exchange glances before ringing the door bell.

Paula rips the door open and glares at me briefly before smiling at Aiden.

"Hi Aiden how are you doing sweetheart." she coos.

"I'm wonderful Paula, how are you today." he says politely.

"I'm doing well. Are you hear to pick up Glen?"

I love how I'm getting ignored completely.

"Yep, the three of us are going to the gym." Aiden answers putting his arm around my shoulders.

I smile up at him for trying to include me in the conversation.

"I see." The devil, I mean Paula says.

She steps aside and finally lets us in. When I walk in I see Spencer sitting on the couch with her arms around herself. She hasn't even looked up to know I'm here.

"I'll go grab Glen for you." The older blonde says.

"I'll come with you." Aiden says leaving me to talk to Spencer.

I walk quickly over to my girlfriend and squat down so I'm eye level with her.

She finally realizes I'm there and her face goes from sad to happy in no time at all.

"Whats wrong baby?" I whisper taking her hands in my own.

"Nothing anymore." She says. She looks around to make sure no one is there and leans in to kiss me. I stand up and sit beside her on the couch. I can't help but notice the way her eyes rake over my hardly covered body.

"And where do you think your going dressed like that?" She asks playfully.

"To the gym. I text you to see if you wanted to come but I didn't get an answer." I told her laying my hand on her thigh.

"Yeah, sorry about that. My mom has been weird talking to me all day and I left my phone in my room."

"Is everything okay Spence? I heard you guys fighting when we pulled up."

"Nothing is wrong. I'll go ask my dad if its okay if I come with you." Spencer hops up off the sofa and disappears up the stairs.

I can't help but feel like something bigger is going on that she isn't telling me about.

"Ash, you ready to go?" Aiden asks as the three of them come around the corner.

"Yeah but I think Spencer might come with us."

As soon as the words left my mouth I saw Paula tense up and go up the stairs.

Shit.

A few seconds later we hear yelling again.

"Good job Ashley." I hear Glen mutter next to me.

"What the hell is your problem?" I ask irritated.

"They have been fighting constantly about you for the last week! Its getting fucking annoying!" My girlfriends brother spits out.

They have been fighting for the last week?

Why didn't she tell me?

"Fine I wont go!" I hear Spencer yell coming down the stairs.

"Don't get an attitude young lady or you will be grounded! Is that understood?" Paula yells coming right behind her.

Spencer clamps her mouth shut and closes her eyes.

She knows that if she gets grounded then our routine will be broken and she will only get to see me at school. And that wouldn't be good for either of us.

I want to hold her so badly right now.

But I know I can't.

She opens her eyes and I try and convey what I want with my eyes.

I can tell she wants the same thing.

"Ashley, I didn't know you were here!" I hear Mr. Carlin say coming down the stairs to join the scene.

"Hi Mr. Carlin." I wave.

"Are you going with the boys to the gym, or would you like to join us for dinner?" He says giving me a look.

Obviously I'm dressed to go to the gym, but he is inviting me to stay for dinner.

This man is my hero.

"I would love to stay for dinner Mr. Carlin thank you very much."

I see Spencers face light up and Paulas face go red.

"Excellent! Dinner should be ready in another two hours. You and Spence can head up to her room and watch a movie if you want." Mr. Carlin says.

Spencer grabs my arm and pulls me up the stairs before anything else can be said. Once we get in Spencers room she shuts the door and locks it.

When she turns around to face me I pull her into a hug. My beautiful girlfriend starts to cry softly in my arms. I wouldn't have even known she was crying if it wasn't for the tears I could feel on my bare shoulder.

"Its okay baby." I tell her rubbing my hands up and down her back.

We stand there for about ten minuets just holding each other before Spencer finally pulls back to look at me. I wipe her tears from her face.

"Whats going on Spence?" I ask looking in her eyes.

She doesn't say anything.

We just continue to look at each other.

"I love you." She whispers out before kissing me.

I was utterly confused, but not dumb enough to interrupt kissing time. One thing I've learned since Spencer and I started dating, when she wants to kiss me, she will tell me when she is done. I thought it was a wonderful plan seeing as how I could kiss her all day long.

I feel her hands skim across my naked stomach and shiver. Spencer smiles into the kiss before raking her fingernails down my torso.

I jump away from the kiss immediately.

Spencer is grinning wickedly at me as I stand there out of breath.

"Your so not being very nice right now." I say trying to control the urge to throw her on the bed and have my way with her.

We hadn't had sex in three days. That was three days too long for me. After our first time together, I couldn't get enough of Spencer.

Apparently she couldn't get enough of me either by the way she was stalking towards me right now.

"You probably should have worn more clothes." She says in a sexy voice.

I can't help but smirk as I start backing away from her. We both knew we couldn't have sex in her house with her parents home. But it was still fun to tease each other.

"Oh I should have? Whys that?" I ask innocently.

I have reached the wall of her bed room and she is still coming towards me.

"Because," She says coming to stand in front of me. She takes a finger and trails it from my jaw, down through my breasts, to the waist band of my basketball shorts. "Its not fair to have to look, but not touch."

I grab her hips and pull her into me hard. Our bodies are fully pressed against each other now.

"Well then," I whisper in her ear.

My hands have found their usual spot on her ass, pulling her into me further. I take her earlobe in my teeth and pull gently.

"Can I borrow a shirt?" I say as seductively as I can. I feel the girl in my arms shiver.

"Maybe in a few minuets." She husks out before kissing me hard.

We were starting to get carried away when I realized where we were. I gently moved Spencer back from me a couple steps. We were both breathing hard and smiling.

"How about that shirt?" I ask.

Spencers eyes are dark as she nods and walks into her closet. I take a minuet to run to the bath room while she is gone to try and collect myself.

I open her bedroom door and close it behind me.

"Paula you need to stop acting this way or your going to loose her!" I hear Mr. Carlin hiss out downstairs.

"Are you really that blind Arthur? That girl is going to corrupt our daughter if I don't do something! If I don't stop this then we are going to loose her anyway!"

I stop walking and listen. So I really am the reason they have been fighting.

"Thats enough! Ashley is a good person. She cares about Spencer and is a great friend to her. You need to see that and stop judging her because of who she loves."

"Are you really sticking up for her right now? I cannot handle this right now."

I hear her grab a set of car keys.

"Where are you going?" Mr. Carlin asks, sounding genuinely worried.

"Out." Is all Paula says before slamming the front door.

Fuck.

From the top of the stair case I see Mr. Carlin walk to the front door and lean his head against it.

Before I can walk to the bathroom he turns around and sees me standing there.

"How much did you hear Ashley?" He asks probably knowing the answer.

"Enough." Is all I say.

"This isn't your fault." He says seeing the look of guilt on my face.

I laugh humorously and look down. "Thanks Mr. Carlin, but we both know it is."

I walk down the hall into the bathroom and close the door. I run some cold water over my face and neck. I have never felt worse in my whole life.

I was the reason Spencer and her mom were fighting.

I was the reason her parents were fighting.

I walked back into Spencers room to find her sitting on her bed watching Titanic.

She loves this movie.

She doesn't look at me as I enter the room, she only holds a shirt out for me to take. I smile and grab it out of her hand to put it on.

I slide on her bed and pull her up so she is sitting in between my legs with her back to my chest. Her head is laying on my shoulder and my arms are around her waste. The movie was on the part where Jack sings to Rose. I lean in Spencers ear and sing along with the movie.

"Come Josephine, in my flying machine, going up, she goes, up she goes." I kiss the side of Spencers neck as she plays with our intertwined hands.

"I'll never let go Ash." She says not looking away from the screen.

The simple cheesy line strikes my heart as I think about what I heard downstairs. I tighten my hold on her as a tear silently makes its way down my cheek.

"I love you so much." I say with as much conviction as I feel.

"I love you too Jack." She says with a smile in her voice.

I laugh and hit her stomach playfully.

"Hush and watch the movie." I tell her. \

"I love you too Ashley." I hear her whisper as she kisses the back of my hand.


	24. Keep Running

Spencer and I finished the movie right as dinner was ready. When we got downstairs Mr. Carlin was setting the table.

"Hey girls I was just about to go and get you." He says setting down the third and last plate.

"Dad why are you only setting out three plates?" My girlfriend asked.

"Oh, your mother got called into work. She told me to tell you goodnight and she loved you before she left." Mr. Carlin glanced at me briefly.

I guess I was supposed to keep what I heard earlier a secret.

"Well more food for us then!" I say as I help set the table.

Dinner was filled with laughs and good conversation. When we were done, I helped Spencer with the dishes while Mr. Carlin went to his room to work. I thought I was being helpful, but Spencer kept splashing me with water, and I couldn't not splash her back, right?

"Ash, look at the kitchen! My dad is going to kill me!" She says wiping suds from her face.

"Well go take a shower and I'll clean up down here." I had gotten her worse than she had gotten me.

I barely had a few spots of water. She on the other hand was soaked. Before she got up she leaned in to kiss me.

"Thanks babe, I'll be right back!"

While she was in the shower I cleaned up the kitchen and finished doing the dishes. It had been almost an hour since Spencer left and I was starting to get a little worried. I went up the stairs to her room and opened the door slowly.

"Spencer?" I heard a shuffling sound from her closet.

When I peaked around the corner I could see Spencer sitting on the ground facing away from me. She was staring at something in her hands but I couldn't see her face.

Right as I was about to walk over to her, someone opened her bedroom door.

"Spencer! I need to talk to you." Paula says entering the room.

Spencer spins around to find me looking at her. Her face is ghost white and she looks scared. Spencer sets whatever she is looking at in a box quickly before her mom comes in her closet.

"Ashley I think its best if you go home, I need to speak to my daughter."

Spencer doesn't say anything. She doesn't move from the ground. She is just staring at the box in front of her.

"Okay, um, I'll see you later I guess Spence."

"Let me walk you out." Spencer says before getting up.

She doesn't look at me the whole way downstairs. We walk out to my car in silence and I could feel something was really wrong.

"Spence, whats wrong? Your scarring me baby." I say making her look at me.

Spencer doesn't say anything.

She only looks at me with an apologetic frown.

I'm really starting to get scared. Her blue eyes are starting to water and her breathing is shallow. Before I can say anything else her arms are around me and she is crying.

I just wrap my arms around her waist and wait.

"Everything will be okay baby." I whisper now and then.

Nothing seems to help calm the crying girl in my arms.

"I love you Spencer." I say rubbing her back.

Spencer then pulls out of my embrace to look at me. She reaches her hands up to cup my face. I get lost in her light blue eyes. They always get a lot lighter when she cries. Then next thing I know I feel her lips on mine.

Its a slow kiss.

But something feels off.

It lasts only a few seconds before she is out of my reach completely.

"I love you so much Ashley." She says before walking inside.

I'm left standing there totally confused.

What the hell was that about?

As I'm driving home I notice more of my surroundings. I don't know if its my brain trying to make sense of what just happened, or trying to make me more observant. I pass four red cars, two moving trucks (weird seeing them at night) three joggers, and one person walking alone.

I pull into my drive way and sit for a minuet.

My mind isn't making sense of anything that just happened. My phone buzzes signaling I have a text. Its from Spencer.

_Hey, I'm not feeling well so I probly wnt go 2 school 2morrow. Culd u take good notes for me? :) xX Spence. _

I smile and text her back that I would and I loved her. Well that explains why she was looking so white earlier I guess. I get out of my car and go up to my room to shower. When I get out I have a new text.

_Glen had 2 go home early, wana chill? -Aiden. _

_Na, Ima go 2 bed. Gnite tho. Xx Ash. _

The next day I wake up and something feels wrong.

I try and shake it off as I get ready for school. While I'm getting ready I send Spencer a text saying good morning. I don't expect a response since I know she isn't awake right now.

When I get to school I search for Aiden, but I guess he isn't here yet.

The day goes on as usual, but I still have that feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Lunch comes and I sit at our table as usual and wait for Aiden.

The feeling in my stomach is getting worse. I see Aiden looking around and when his eyes land on mine my heart start pounding.

Not the way Spencer makes it pound, but in an oh shit, kind of way.

When my best friend sits down across from me I'm all but shaking.

"Have you talked to Spencer today?" He asks.

As soon as he says her name the feeling in my stomach is almost making me nauseous.

I know something is really wrong now. I jump up from the lunch table and start sprinting to my car as fast as I can.

Once I get inside, I slam it in reverse not caring that I just rammed into a car that was parked too close to mine. I begin driving at an un healthy speed towards Spencers house. The closer I get the worse I'm starting to feel. I dig my phone out of my pocket and try to call her.

_The number you have dialed has been disconnected. _

No.

I try again.

_The number you have dialed has been disconnected. _

This cannot be happening.

As I run through I red light I feel my eyes start to water.

She wouldn't leave me.

Especially with out saying goodbye.

She loves me.

She told me she loved me.

I'm speeding through traffic like its nothing.

I wouldn't be surprised if I have a warrant out for my arrest later. I'm almost to her house. Even before I turn on the street I can feel it.

Spencers words last night keep shouting themselves in my mind.

_I'll never let go Ash. _

I hear my tires yell out in protest when I take the final turn into the neighborhood that will lead me right to her house.

_I love you so much Ashley. _

I come to a firm stop in front of the Carlin home.

But the big white For Sale sign out front contradicts that thought.

I get out of my car slowly walking up to the porch. I close my eyes and ring the door bell.

Nothing.

I ring it again.

Nothing.

My finger starts the press on the button repeatedly.

Maybe this will annoy Paula into answering it, and calling off this stupid joke.

Still nothing.

My fist start to have a mind of their own as they begin to pound relentlessly on the wooden door. The reality of the situation is starting to sink in and bring me to my knees.

I'm not crying.

I'm just staring into space.

Shes gone.

She didn't even tell me goodbye.

_I'd do anything for you Ash, this ocean is freezing but I would go swim in it right now if it would make you believe me._

Was it all just a lie?

How could she leave me?

She had to have known yesterday, thats why she told me she wasn't going to school today.

The two moving trucks I saw were headed to her house.

They packed up and took the girl I was in love with away from me over night.

Aiden had to have known last night when he dropped Glen off.

He knew this morning when they were leaving town.

He knew when he got to school.

Everyone knew this was happening and no one told me.

I sat on the Carlins old front steps until the sun had gone down. My mind was playing over ever memory I had that involved Spencer. The ones of us recently, made an appearance the most.

I'm sure it was cold out by now, but I couldn't feel anything. I think I might have been crying this whole time, but I couldn't feel anything.

I saw car lights pull up but I knew better than to think it was her.

Aiden got out of his car and came to sit beside me.

I was angry at him, but I was too numb to tell him to go away. I continued to stare out into the night, seeing nothing.

"I figured this is where you would be." He says looking at me.

I slowly turn my head to look at him. I must look like a lost beaten puppy judging by the way he is looking at me. I turn my head away from him and look back out in the night. We sit there in silence for a few more minuets. Aiden knows better than to try to hug me or talk to me when I'm in this state. I don't want him to touch me, or care what he has to say.

He knew she was leaving.

"She begged me not to say anything to you." My best friend says reading my mind. I glance at him from the corner of my eye.

"She said she couldn't bare saying goodbye. Her mom only told her last night when she got home." Aiden says trying to catch my eye.

That still doesn't explain what was wrong in her closet. I cant bring myself to care at this point.

"Ash say something. Your freaking me out." Aiden begs.

I think about telling him my heart is gone.

I think about telling him how much I hate him for not telling me she was leaving.

I think about telling him how cold I am inside.

But I don't.

I get up off the steps of the house for sale, and walk away with out a word. I get in my car and drive to my empty house. I walk up the long stairwell and into my oversized room.

Theres a box on my bed.

I walk over to the box and look inside. There is an envelope with my name on it. I pick up the thin white paper and tear the top open. I slowly slip out the letter inside.

It smells like Spencer.

The whole box smells like her.

As I unfold the letter I see its from Spencer from the choppy writing. Some of the words are smeared from what looks like tears.

_Ashley, _

_I know nothing I say in this letter will help with the pain I know your going through right now. My own heart is breaking writing this letter to you. Ashley I couldn't say goodbye to you in person. It would have killed me to leave you, we only just now got to be together. After you left my mother told my family we were leaving back to Ohio. She already got her old job back and had ordered moving trucks to be here with in the hour. Ashley I don't want you to think I didn't love you, because I love you so much. I will always love you. There is something I need to tell you. Aiden already knows so you don't have to worry about telling him. Ashley, I'm pregnant with Aidens child. I know this sounds like a bad soap opera right? All we need now is for someone to have an evil twin brother. I know none of this is a joking matter, and it wont seem funny to you at all. I don't want you to try and find me. Me being the mother of your best friends child is even too much for me to deal with. I couldn't ask you to be with me after this. It wouldn't be fair to you. Ash, you will always be the love of my life, and I'll never let go. Goodbye, _

_Love always _

_Spencer. _

By the time I had gotten done reading the letter, I was on the ground. I couldn't breathe.

This explains what was wrong in her closet.

She was looking at her pregnancy test.

She didn't even give me the option to be okay with it.

She told me not to look for her.

She didn't want me to be with her.

Her and Aiden were probably going to get married after they graduated. Aiden would move to Ohio, and they would be a happy little family.

When I finally pulled myself together enough to stand up, I looked in the box. The box contained some hoodies and shirts I had left over at her house, all the toys I got her on our first date, except the bear that smelled like strawberries.

At the bottom of the box was a picture Carmen had taken of Spencer and I just a few days ago. Spencer was sitting on my lap and I had my arms around her. I had just told her a really bad joke, but she thought it was hilarious. She was smiling at me with her hands on my face. I was beaming up at her with a smile of my own.

We looked so in love.

We didn't even know that Carmen took the picture until she gave it to Spencer in a frame the other day. I walked over to my bed and sat down looking at the picture.

She left me.

She didn't want me to come after her.

Who could tell that to the person they love.

Don't come after me.

I opened the drawer to my dresser and set the picture in it upside down. I never knew I could feel like this.

Empty.

Cold.

Alone.

Betrayed.

None of those words even came close to how I was feeling. My phone rang next to me on the bed. I picked it up and looked at the caller ID.

Aiden.

He was the reason Spencer didn't want me to come after her. He was the father of her unborn child. I suddenly felt a rage I didn't know I was capable of.

I threw my phone against my wall as hard as I could. I picked up the box of things from Spencer and started to throw the contents around the room, tearing and ripping whatever I could manage.

Once I had done all the damage I could to those items, I looked around my room. It seemed to be mocking me. It was organized and calm. I went to my dresser first shoving it over with strength I hadn't been aware of.

After that it was anything and everything that got in my way. Lamps, chairs, my mattress, all of it was getting destroyed. I took an extra effort into destroying my bed. The bed where Spencer gave herself to me fully. The bed we spent nights together, even as friends.

The bed I knew I would be dreaming of her in. When my room was no longer recognizable, I didn't feel any better. I felt more angry. I made my way to my kitchen, stopping several times along the way to destroy mocking objects.

Mostly the couch where we slept after we confessed how we really felt to each other. When I finally made it in my kitchen I headed right for the liquor cabinet. I pulled out a bottle of everclear and looked at it. The longer I looked at it the more the memory of Spencer popped in my head.

"_You shouldn't drink that stuff Ash, it could kill you."_ _She said taking the bottle from my hand. _

"_Not if you know how to drink it." I snipped taking it back. _

"_Please, Ash dont." She pleaded with me. _

_I sighed and set the bottle down. _

"_Promise me, you wont ever drink that stuff please." _

"_Fine I promise!" I said playfully annoyed. _

The memory kept playing in my mind fuling my rage. I reared my arm back and flung the bottle into the wall. I turned back to the cabinet and grabbed the next best thing, Absnith.

The first gulp burned and only made me angrier. By the fifth gulp, I couldn't feel the burn, let alone anything else on my body. I got half of the bottle down before I passed out on my floor.

I vaugley remember being lifted by a strong but slender pair of arms, and carried into one of the guest bedrooms on the bottom floor.

That night I had a dream about Spencer. I chasing her and she kept running from me. I could never get close enough to see her face, it was always the back of her head. In my dream it felt like I was running in place. I kept hearing her voice telling me to stop chasing her, but I never did.

I just kept running.


	25. Talking To The Moon

**Hey guys! Wow I loved all the reviews for the last chapter! Even though you guys are angry with me right now, I hope you still continue to read. The story has a lot of miles left in it. If I can get to 210 reviews by tomorrow morning. I will give an update everyday until this friday. Thank you guys so much for all the feedback and reading! Enjoy :)**

**Two Months Later**

* * *

><p>I cant say that I have been myself since that night.<p>

The Ashley Davies that was so full of love and understanding, might as well never have existed. The only person I even allow to be near me these days is Carmen.

She was the one who came to my house that horrific night to make sure I stayed alive. Sometimes I wish she hadn't. She tries to stop the self destructive path I'm willingly throwing myself down, but I wont listen.

My days and nights roll into one with a mix of booze, drugs, faceless women, and sometimes even sleep. I try to avoid sleeping as much as possible.

I have the same dream every night.

I'm chasing Spencer, and she is running.

Sometimes in my more optimistic moments, I think of getting on the first plane to Ohio and searching for her. Going door to door until I find her.

I never do.

Because once my thoughts take me that far, I think of what would be waiting for me if I actually found her. Spencer has to be at least three months pregnant by now.

She would be showing.

A constant reminder of her and Aiden.

Speaking of Aiden, he tried to get in contact with me for two weeks and then gave up. He would stop by, call me, text me.

Anything he could think of to try and get me to talk to him.

I wouldn't.

I blamed him the most for all of this.

I think somewhere deep down I knew it wasn't really him I should be mad at, but then I took a shot of Absnith, and those thoughts were forgotten.

"Ashley its eleven in the morning for christ sake." Carmen says walking into my kitchen.

"I know, the party started two hours ago, your late." I tell her taking another drink.

She makes a move to take the bottle from me.

"Don't you fucking think about it!" I growl.

She knows if she tries to take my booze, my sanity, then she will be kicked out of my life along with every one else. Carmen clinches her fists in an effort to control herself.

She only puts up with my bullshit because she is more afraid of what would happen if she wasn't around to take care of me. I wouldn't ever tell her this, but I was afraid of that too.

"Ashley, you need to grow the fuck up." She spits out before getting a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Piss off." is my slurred reply.

"No wonder Spencer didn't want you to come after her! Look at yourself. She is going to be a parent Ashley! Responsible for another human life! Her mom made her leave, she didn't run from you! She didn't want you to come after her because your obviously not mature enough to handle what she is going through with her. Look at you. Drunk, high, sleeping around. If you love her so much, why don't you try and think of a way to help her with her fucking future!"

With that she threw the water bottle on the counter and headed for the door.

"Where the hell do you think your going?" I say as I clumsily get up.

"I'm going to class. I have a future other than drugs and alcohol. Maybe you should get one too." She shouts slamming the front door.

I let her words replay in my head. As I think, I spin the empty liquor bottle in front of me. The more I sober up the more I see that Carmen is right. I hate when that happens. I pull my phone from my pocket and dial someone I know can help me.

"Hey, Ethan? It's Ashley Davies. No, I'm not calling for my dad. I was actually wondering if you were interested in making a lot of money. I thought you would be."

**Two years later SPOV**

I'm on my way home from work after another double shift. I hope my dad didn't mind staying this late. I wasn't planning on working so long, but I could really use the money.

I gave Aiden the option of being in the babies life or not, but I told him I wouldn't take any money from him. He could buy our child anything he wanted, but I wouldn't accept anything from him.

He chose to not be in our babies life.

Not that I blame him.

I live on the opposite side of the country as he does. He wants to continue with his own future, not the future I have to face alone now.

I know what your thinking, I wouldn't be alone if I hadn't up and left Ashley with no goodbye. She might still be in love with me right now if I hadn't done her wrong.

The truth is, I wanted to tell her goodbye, but I couldn't tell her I was pregnant. I know she would have wanted to help and take responsibility for the baby. I couldn't do that to her. She would have let me tie her down and not gone after her dreams like she wanted.

She might think I was selfish to do what I did.

To tell her to not come after me.

I really did it for her.

After we got to Ohio I told my parents that I was pregnant. My mom told me I had to either marry Aiden or get out of her house, because she would not have a 'bastard' be raised under her roof. I went and found an apartment the next day with my dad.

I told my dad that I was gay and thats the reason I couldn't marry Aiden. From his reaction I really think he's known all along. He still asks me if I've spoken to Ashley from time to time. I still tell him the same answer.

No.

I had to eventually drop out of school and get my GED. I couldn't go to school, pay for my apartment, and take care of a kid. I now have a job at Wal Mart stocking shelves and being a cashier. Stocking shelves pays better, but the hours are insane!

I hardly have anytime to do anything.

I never get to watch TV or go out with friends.

When I'm in my car, all I want is silence.

A chance to think.

I pull into the parking lot of the Oxford Oaks apartments. They really aren't bad. Decent price and right down the street from Wal Mart.

I unlock the door and shut it as quietly as I can. It's one in the morning, so I'm positive my dad and child are asleep. I set my keys on the counter and head for the kitchen for something to eat. I poor a bowl of cereal and grab an apple. I nearly drop them both when I turn around and see my dad standing there.

"I thought you were going to be home at 5 today?" He asks yawning.

"I know dad, I'm so sorry. I just had the chance to get in some more hours. A girl called in and couldn't make it. I figured I could use the overtime." I tell him taking a bite out of my apple.

"Honey, you don't need to work so much okay? If you need help just ask me. I do only live ten miles from here." my dad says placing a hand on my shoulder.

He stayed with my mom.

I know, I woulda left that crazy bitch too.

But he loves her.

"I just want to be able to do this on my own okay? I want to look back and be proud of something."

My dad nods his head and stretches.

"Okay sweetheat. I'm going to get home, do you need anything?" He asks already reaching for his wallet.

"No dad, I'm fine." I tell him waving off the twenty he's trying to give me.

"Well I'll just put it in my grand childs piggy bank then." He says walking off.

I smile and shake my head. Always trying to spoil people.

"Thank you dad. Did you have any trouble with the little monster?"

"Nope, perfect as always."

"Well I really appreciate you baby sitting. I'm off tomorrow, so I'll see you at the park at noon?"

We always go to the parks on my days off.

"You bet honey. Oh you might want to watch the MTV awards tomorrow night, I hear there is this super star taking over the entire music business or something like that."

"What do you mean?" I ask confused.

"She has songs all over the place, and her own producing label. If she isn't singing the song, she either wrote it or produced it. Its crazy, she is bigger than Elvis!" My dad says waving around his arms excitedly.

"Sounds like she is super woman!" I say in a tone that matches his.

"I'm serious! You need to watch it, she is performing a new song tomorrow. You should watch it, it comes on at seven!"

"Okay okay, maybe if someone isn't causing too much trouble." I say pointing to the bedroom down the hall.

"I'll take my precious grandchild tomorrow after the park so you can have a day to yourself."

"A day to myself does sound nice. Okay deal. I need to clean up around here anyways." I say kicking some toys gently out of the way.

"Alright sweetheart I'll see you tomorrow."

"Alright goodnight dad. And thanks again for today." As soon as I shut the door I hear crying from down the hall.

I jog quickly and flip on the light to the room. It's covered in toys. The walls have bright music notes and space ships around the dark blue walls. I painted the whole room myself. I go over to the crying toddler and pick him up out of bed.

"What's wrong Ashton baby?" I coo to my son.

"Bear!" He says pointing to the bear on the shelf.

"Aw did grandpa not give you, your bear before bed time. Here you go baby." I say handing him the bear that still smells like strawberries after almost three years. Its his favorite bear. He loves the way it smells. I set down my son with his bear and tuck them both in.

"Goodnight baby boy, mommy loves you." I hear him mutter his version of 'I love you too' before I shut out the light again.

I go and sit down in the kitchen and continue to eat my 'dinner'.

Time like these I wish Ashley was here.

I finish eating and grab a sweater. I walk out onto the back patio and take my usual spot under the stars. I look up at the sky and see the huge moon looking back at me and begin to talk, just like every night.

"Hey Ash," I whisper out into the sky. "I thought about you a lot day. Ashton is getting so big, I wish you could see him. Even though he isn't biologically your son, he looks almost just like you. He has big brown eyes and shaggy curly hair. I haven't told you this yet, but he has your last name. Ashton Bradley Daives. I don't know how you did it Ash, but some how you gave that little boy a piece of you. His nose wrinkles up when he smiles, and he can already quirk his eyebrow when he is upset or confused. Some day I hope you can see him. Well Ashley, I'm sure Ashton is going to be awake bright and early tomorrow. Goodnight baby, I love you always." I sit there staring at the moon for a few more minuets before I head inside.

I'm sure my neighbors think I'm insane. I'm out there every night, talking to no one. I know it sounds crazy, but some how I know she's talking to me too.

**APOV**

I sit on the roof of my house like I do every night, starring at the stars. Sometimes, if I sit still enough, its almost like I can hear Spencer talking to me.

I have been sober since that day in my kitchen.

Carmens harsh words made me realize that maybe Spencer knew I would fall apart once she told me the news. That I wouldn't be able to handle it.

I still haven't spoken to Aiden, nor do I want to. It's not so much me hating him anymore. It's just it will make me think of Spencer even more. And that would be hard to do.

She is all I think about really.

I'm on call to go into the studio tonight. I have a performance on MTV awards tomorrow, but with all my other projects going on I hardly sleep. Thats the way I intended it.

The night I called Ethan I offered him the chance to make a lot of money. I don't think he believed me that I could pull off what I was offering. I now have over 20 hits out on the radio this month alone. I either wrote them, sang them, produced them, or came up with the score. I have my own label and it has all kinds of artists on it. Country, rock, pop, scremo, rap, techno. You name it I've done it. I personally have sang songs for all of those as well. I even put some time into a little classical piano. And for ever type of single I have an album for.

My favortie albums are my country album, and my rock album. They were my first ones to put out at the same time, and all of the songs are about Spencer, just hoping she might hear one and know I'm still thinking of her. That's the only reason I'm doing all of this.

I know she has to turn on her radio sometime. And when she does, I want her to know that I still love her, and want her back. I tried to find her for a year, but with no luck. I even scheduled my last two tours to go through Ohio. I still haven't heard a word from her. My phone buzzing in my pocket breaks me out of these thoughts.

"Ashley we need you in the studio. Lil wayne and Niki are fighting about the beat again." Carmen says in a frustrated growl.

Carmen is the manager of the studio. She stuck by me through everything and even came on tour with me before I had ASD Records. I bet your smart enough to figure that out. "Fine, I'll be in soon." I say closing my phone. I give one last look at the moon.

"Goodnight Spencer." I say slipping down from my roof.

**The Next Day**

"Ashley are you sure you are going to be able to perform tonight? You only go an hour of sleep last night?" Carmen asks while sitting in my dressing room.

"Yeah I'm fine Carmen. An hour was all I needed."

It was all I needed because I stated to get into REM sleep, and that means I dream, and if I dream, I dream of Spencer. Well you know the rest.

"Alright whatever you say." The raven haired girl says walking out of the room.

Only an hour until I go on.

**SPOV**

The park was a lot of fun today, but my dad told me I had to get home so I could watch the woman on TV. I turned on my radio for the first time in ages to see if I could figure out who this super woman was.

_She is easily going to be the biggest thing since the Beatles. I mean honestly, what other artist could put out that many albums, in all those different categories of music, AND have her own label? _

They must be talking about super woman. I switch off my radio as it goes into commercial. The show would start in twenty minuets. I walk in my apartment and plop down on the couch searching for the right channel. I finally find it and begin to watch.

I guess having a child really does get you out of touch with the world. I hardly knew any of the artist that were there or the songs that got nominated.

Almost all of them gave a shout out to ASD Records. I guess thats 'super womans' label.

_Up next we will have the owner of ASD Records, Ashley herself with be performing a new song that has yet to be heard by this talented young musician. Stay tuned we'll be right back after this. _

Alright so I guess super womans name is Ashley.

It couldn't possibly be Ashley Davies.

Could it?

My heart begins to race at the thought of seeing her for the first time in three years.

No, it couldn't be her.

I get up and start to pace around my living room talking to myself. The announcers voice brings my attention right back to the screen.

_Ladies and gentleman, performing her never before heard song Talking To The Moon, give it up for Ashley Davies._

I can't move.

I can't breathe.

All I can see is Ashley sitting at a piano with a spot light on her.

She looks breath taking.

She is wearing a long black gown with a slender gold chain around her neck. Her unruly curls are up in a sophisticated bun, and her makeup is dark, making her eyes pop even more. The moment she starts to play her eyes close and my legs give out bringing me to the ground as I listen to her sing the opening lines. She takes a deep breath and sings,

_I know your somewhere out there._

_Somewhere far away._

_I want you back._

_I want you back._

_My neighbors thing I'm crazy, but they don't understand_

_Your all I had_

_Your all I had._

_At night when the stars light up my room_

_I sit by myself_

_Talking to the moon._

_Trying to get to you._

_In hopes your on the other side, talking to me to._

_Or am I a fool_

_Who sits alone_

_Talking to the moon_

_Ohhh Ohhhh_

_I'm feeling like I'm famous_

_The talk of the town_

_They say I've gone mad_

_Yeah I've gone mad._

_But they don't know what I know_

_Cause when the sun goes down _

_Someones talking back_

_Yeah, they're talking back._

_At night when the stars light up my room_

_I sit by myself_

_Talking to the moon_

_Trying to get to you_

_In hopes your on the other side_

_Talking to me too_

_Or am I a fool_

_Who sits alone_

_Talking to the moon_

_Ahhh Ahhh_

_Ahhh Ahhh_

_Ahhh Ahhh_

_Do you ever hear me calling?_

_Ahhh Ahhh_

_Cause every night I'm talking to the moon_

_Still trying to get to you_

_In hopes your on the other side_

_Talking to me too_

_Or am I a fool_

_Who sits alone_

_Talking to the moon_

_ohhh ohhhhh_

_I know you somewhere out there_

_Somewhere far_

_Away. _

_**Song Used : Talking To The Moon by Bruno Mars. Look up and listen to this song...its fantastic...just saying :)**_


	26. Cambridge

**I could give you reasons why I haven't updated but they aren't very good. I hope this makes up to my over due absence. I put a playlist at the end so if you want, you can listen to some of the song that 'Ashley sings for Spencer' I put the name of the song and artist. Thank you every one for the reviews they mean so so so much to me and thank you everyone who reads this story.**

* * *

><p><strong>APOV<strong>

I finished the song and quickly left the stage. I passed by all the other aritist that were backstage with out a word. I never liked to mingle and talk much after a performed, and most of them knew that. I walk down the long hall way to my dressing room and am met by Chaz, my body guard.

"You did great Ashley." He says patting my back.

"Thanks Chaz. Have you heard anything new yet?" I ask hopeful.

Chaz knew all about my search for Spencer and both of us were puzzled no one could seem to find her.

"No, sorry Ash." Chaz says sadly.

I let out a defeated sigh and hang my head.

"Okay, well thanks anyways." I say walking into my room.

Right as I'm about to shut the door I hear Carmen and Ethan down the hall. I usually stand around back stage and watch some of the show. But tonight I was drained so I came back to my room, neither of them know I'm here. I heard Spencers name faintly as they got closer.

"Don't tell them I'm in here but don't let them in okay?" I say in a whisper to Chaz.

He nods and turns back around. I close the door so it is cracked and I can still hear what is being said.

"When are you going to tell her Ethan!" Carmen snarls.

"I'll tell her soon. Did you hear that crowd when she was leaving the stage? Why give up that song writing inspiration?"

What the hell where they talking about?

"Ethan are you fucking kidding me? You've been keeping this a secret so Ashley will write good music? Are you insane!" The raven haired girl yells in anger.

"I've known for about a year and a half actually. This little business Ashley has going is going to make us all billionaires. Sorry for wanting her to stay focused instead of going after some girl who doesn't even want her."

At this I rip the door open.

"You know where Spencer is." I say in a soft whisper.

The look on his face is enough. He stays quiet and looks at the ground.

"You've known for a fucking year and a half!" I say getting in his face.

When he starts trying to back away I grab his shirt with both hands and slam him against the wall.

"Where. Is. She." I say through clenched teeth.

I'm so angry I'm shaking. Ethan wordlessly reaches in his pocket and hands me an old envelope. I still have him pinned against the wall with one hand, while I take the envelope with the other. I rip the offered information from his hands. I look at him and back at the envelope. He look absolutley terrified right now. I can only imagine what my face must look like.

I pass Carmen the envelope, but keep my eyes on Ethan. I want so badly to punch him right in his fucking face. When he shakily opens his mouth to speak I clench my fist.

"Ashley, I'm so sorry..."

I cut him off with a hard punch into the wall right beside his head. I wish it had been his face, but he is such a little bitch I know he'd probably sue me for it. I shake my head and begin to laugh humorlessly.

"You don't get to try to fucking apologize to me. You knew Ethan. You KNEW how desperate I was to find her and you kept your damn mouth shut! Your fucking fired! Come near my studio, my house, me in general, and I will sue your ass for everything your worth!"

With that I snatch the envelope out of Carmens hand and go in my dressing room the change my clothes. Chaz steps aside to let me in and I hear Carmen follow shortly after and shut my dressing room door. I quickly slip my dress of my body and put on an old pair of jeans and a rolling stones tee.

"Ash, I didn't find out until right after the show I swear." Comes from behind me.

I turn around to face her. She has the saddest expression on her face.

"I believe you." I say and turn around to begin my search for my socks.

"Their over by the chair." Carmen says reading my mind.

I slip them on as fast as I can and begin tying up my red converse. I'm trying to tie them so fast my finger wont coordinate with the laces.

"Fuck!" I yell in frustration as I give up and tuck them into the tongue of the shoe.

When I look up Carmen is typing furiously on her phone.

"What are you doing?" I ask standing up.

"Well I'm getting your private jet to the air port, canceling all up coming events for the next month, arranging a press conference, and sending an email to your lawyer to put a restraining order on Ethan and make sure his contract is revoked no matter what the cost. Anything I forgot?"

She says not looking up from her phone. I get the biggest smile on my face and reach for the envelope and tear it open. My eyes scan through the words until I find what I'm looking for.

"Yeah can you arrange for a taxi to pick me up from the air port, and take me to the Oxford Oaks apartments in Cambridge, Ohio please?"

When I look up at Carmen she is smiling too.

"You got it." She says going back to her phone.

**SPOV**

The show was long over but I couldn't get up from my place on the floor.

Was that song about me?

Of course it was about you, you idiot!

You do the same thing she does every night.

You talk to the moon.

Ashley was talking back to me.

I can't help the smile that breaks out across my face at the thought.

She's still in love with me. I'm glad my dad took Ashton tonight, I don't know if I could have functioned after this.

Wait, my dad knew. He knew who she was. He knew she was performing tonight and thats why he offered to take Ashton.

That's why he kept asking me if I had heard from Ashley.

My mind is going nintey miles an hour in a million different directions. She is still in love with me. Why hasn't she tried to find me then? What other songs has she written about me? What else have I missed in her life. I hop up off the floor and grab the one thing I know will answer all of my questions. My computer. The first thing I do is go to Google and type in her name.

Thousands of matches come up. I click on the first video link I see. It says 'Interview about what inspired Ashley Davies.' When the video loads I brace myself to see her face again.

_Ashley, how do you come up with all these amazing songs? _

The young interviewers asks right off. Ashley gets a sad smile as she looks off into space.

_Well someone inspired me. Someone very special. _

The camera view changes back to the young guy.

_Most of the songs you sing are pretty depressing, as some people have described them. Why is that?_

The camera angles so you can see them both as Ashley fidgets uncomfortably at the question. Before she starts to talk again the camera is back on just Ashley.

_Well...She left, well was taken away from me about two years ago, and I haven't heard from her since._

_Have you tried to get in contact with her at all recently? _

_Of course. Every song I sing is my own personal message to her. Its up to her whether she wants me in her life now. _

_Now your first big hit was a hard rock song by the name of Ohio Is For Lovers. What made you decide to release that song as your first hit? _

_It was the first song I wrote after she left. It was kind of like my way of telling her I still love her. _

_But what about your song Snuff? If all of the songs you've written have been inspired by this girl that you love, what made you write this one? _

_Snuff is about how I reacted and felt during the first couple months after it happened. I was such a mess. _

I feel my heart drop into my stomach drop when she says this.

_But don't you think it may have given her mixed signals? _

I really need to listen to this song. That doesn't sound like a love song to me.

_It may have given her mixed signals. That's why I chose to come out with All I Ever Wanted next. It was a change up in genera and it clearly says everything I feel. _

_It was a great choice. What made you start singing country music? _

_I wrote Love Don't Run. _

_What is that song about, well besides the obvious. _

_Um, right before everything fell apart, she was so scared to tell me something, and this was my way of letting her know if she would have just told me, then I wouldn't have gone anywhere. I would still love her, no matter what. _

_Well Ashley I appreciate you coming to talk to us today and I hope things work out for the best for you._

When the interview ended I went to youtube and listened to every song of hers I could find. I have now been crying for three hours. All of her songs are beautiful and heartbreaking all at the same time. I felt like the worst person possible. I had no idea any of this was even going on. The only television I ever watch now days is cartoons for Ashton. I didn't really want to watch anything.

When I wanted to listen to music I would go put in an old CD that would remind me of Ashley, but I never felt the need to turn on the radio. If I had just heard one of her songs a long time ago, where would we be right now?

Lighting flashing outside draws my attention away from the computer screen. A few seconds later a loud clap of thunder rumbles through my small living room. I can hear the heavy rain hitting the roof. I get up off the couch and stand in front of the window watching the storm. My computer is on a play list of Ashleys songs. I stand there with tears rolling down my face as I listen to the love of my life tell me over and over again how much I've hurt her, and that she still loves me.

**APOV**

I didn't wait around to pack clothes, or a tooth brush or anything like that. I don't even know if she is going to let me stay around that long to need those things. The more I think about seeing her, the more the doubt is starting to flood my mind. If she wanted to speak to you, she would have by now. She had to have heard at least one song. She would have known straight away it was about her.

So why hasn't she called? The longer I think about these things, the more I start to think I'm crazy for doing this. I had four hours and thirty one minuets on the plane to think about it, and then the hour and thirteen minuet drive to get there.

The closer we got to Cambridge the harder it started raining. When we passed the sign that said 'Welcome to Cambridge' it finally sank in. I was about to see Spencer. My heart started pounding and the elephants in my stomach were there with a vengeance it seemed.

"What apartment number?" The gruff voice questioned.

"Th-Thirty five fourteen." I stuttered out.

It was nearly two in the morning right now. I didn't care what time it was.

I was going to see Spencer.

"We're here."

Apparently I'm going to see her right now.

I handed the guy three hundred dollars and slowly got out in the pouring rain. I shut the door and the cab sped away. I stood there looking at the door trying to get up the courage to just walk towards it. I was still standing in the parking lot. I stood there for nearly ten minuets.

Suddenly the porch light came on and the handle slowly turned. The painted black door slowly opened, but I couldn't see anything inside because of the light. A figure slowly started to walk through the thresh hold of the door. I cant tell you when my legs started having a mind of their own, but they started carrying me towards the figure.

Slowly the figure started to move towards me, and the further it got away from the bright light, the more I could see it.

Long blonde hair.

Round face.

Slender tone body.

Blue eyes.

We were still a good ten yards away from each other.

But it was her.

A smile so big, my cheeks could have ripped broke out on my face.

"Spencer." I said barley loud enough to be heard above the pouring rain.

As soon as her name left my lips I saw a smile that matched my own break out on her face.

I don't know who moved first, but the next thing I know im sprinting full speed until she is in my arms. We're both squeezing each other so tight, but neither of us care.

I suddenly begin to sob. Her being in my arms instead of my dreams is so surreal.

"Shh its okay babe I have you." She whispers in my ear.

Spencer begins to rub her hands up and down my back. After a few minuets, I'm back under control. I pull back enough to look at her beautiful face.

My hand unconsciously reaches out to cup her cheek. When our skin connects, Spencer closes her eyes and leans into my touch. The blonde girl turns her head and kisses the inside of my palm.

"Spence."

When I say this her eyes open and lock onto mine.

I don't say anything else. My hand snakes around the back of her neck slowly bringing our faces closer together. I'm looking from her lips to her eyes the whole way towards her.

I give one last look in her eyes before I crash our lips together.

**Best I Ever Had by Gary Allan**

**Snuff by Slipknot**

**How Do You Sleep by Jesse McCartney**

**What Shes Doing Now by Garth Brooks**

**The Memory by Mayday Parade**

**All I Ever Wanted by Basshunter**

**Love Dont Run by Steve Holy**

**Ohio Is For Lovers by Hawthorne Heights**

**Coming Home by City and Colour**

**My Hearts a Stereo by Gym Class Heros and Adam Levine**

**Letters To You by Finch**

**Somewhere With You Kenny Chesney**

**Whose Kissing You Tonight by Jason Aldean**

**I Still Miss You by Keith Anderson**

**Hear Me Out by Frou Frou**

**Speeding Cars by Imogen Heap**


	27. Understand

**Thanks everyone for the reviews! They really so mean a lot to me. Even if its negative feedback *cough cough* OneLiner. ;)**

* * *

><p>Some how we managed to get inside Spencers apartment with out breaking our kiss. I kicked the door closed behind me as she led me blindly through the the hall into the living room.<p>

Our kisses were getting rougher and more desperate. Spencers hands made their way into my hair as we lowered ourselves onto the couch. I was beginning to need oxygen at this point so I started kissing her neck, leaving little bites here and there.

"I love you so much Ashley." Spencer said in a ragged breathe.

I froze all my movements.

Thats the last thing she said to me two years ago before she left. I quickly got up from the couch and walked over towards the window.

"Ash." She said in a worried voice.

I had my back to her now.

"Do you remember the last time you said that to me?" I asked in a monotone voice.

She stayed silent.

"The last time you said that to me, you had a hell of a way of showing it!" I said turning around to look at her.

Spencer was still sitting on the couch with tears starting to roll down her face.

"Ashley, I meant it. I still mean it. I thought I was doing you a favor." She said standing up.

"A favor! Do you know what I fucking went through? If thats your way of doing me favors, please don't do me anymore!"

I felt my eyes start to water thinking about the day I drove to her house.

"That didn't come out right. Please Ash, just hear me out okay." Spencer said taking my hands. I aloud the contact but didn't look in her eyes.

"Okay Spencer. Explain to me why you left me with no goodbye. Explain to me how you could break my heart, and leave me with a box of stuff and a letter. I'm really dying to hear you explain this." I spat out bitterly.

"I didn't even know we were coming back here until you left that night! I was already scared enough to tell you about me being pregnant. How was I supposed to tell you that I was leaving, and have our last conversation be how I was going to be a mother? I couldn't put that on you. I'm so sorry for leaving the way I did, but you have to understand its what I thought was best at the time okay? I know it was stupid but I was so scared. You'll never know how much it hurt me to let you go. You may not believe me but it's true."

Spencer was crying so hard at the end of her speech I could almost not understand what she was saying. I pulled my hand away from her and walked a few steps away.

I was still so angry at her.

"Why didn't you call me?" I asked brokenly.

I wrapped my arms around myself as I fought off a wave of sobs.

"I didn't think you would want anything to do with me." She said in a low whisper.

I looked down at the floor shaking my head back and forth.

"Spencer I have been telling you in every way possible I wanted something to do with you. How in the hell could you not know I still wanted you in my life?" I asked in disbelief. "Did you not turn on a radio or television for the past two years? I have been trying to find you for months and months. I would have been here sooner but Ethan fucking, you know what that doesn't matter. I have been doing everything I could to tell you how I felt. And I never heard a word from you. So forgive me for not believing you, when you tell me you love me."

I was shaking now. I kept trying to angrily wipe the tears from my face, but they were falling much to fast.

"Ashley, I haven't had the time, or felt the need to listen to the radio or watch tv. I dropped out to get my GED because I needed to work to pay for this place." She says waving her arms. "I have to take care of someone else other than myself now. My mom kicked me out when I told her I was pregnant, and I told my dad I was gay. Which I think he already knew. I spend all my time with my son and doing whats right for him. I never even knew you were singing all those songs about me until tonight. My dad is baby sitting and told me to watch the show. I'm not telling you this to make you feel sorry for me, and I don't expect your forgiveness right away. But please at least let me try to make it up to you, please Ashley."

I sat down on the couch with my head in my hands. All the things I had just heard needed a moment to process. I felt her staring at me, and could see her shifting from foot to foot from the corner of my eye. It was like I kick in the gut to know that all the energy and emotion I put into those songs were a waste of time.

It was all for nothing.

I didn't want to understand where Spencer was coming from, but it was slowly starting to happen. She had lost everything.

"What about Aiden?" I asked looking up to her.

"What about him?" she asked confused.

"Is he not helping you? Does he not even care?" I asked leaning back into the couch.

"I uh, told him he could choose if he wanted to be around or not. He chose not to. I mean he sends me money and stuff every month with letters, but thats it. I just put the money in a savings account." she said playing with her hands.

"What a dick." I muttered.

Spencer let out a short laugh. "Yeah, in a way I've always been glad though."

"Whys that?"

"Made everything a lot less complicated. I think he knew it would work out for the best if he just stayed out of the picture. Aiden always says in his letters that when he gets older, and wants to meet Aiden, then it would be okay with him."

Spencer hesitantly sits on the couch next to me. I look over at her and stare into her eyes.

"You really hurt me." I say wiping the remaining tears from my face.

"I know." her voice laced with regret.

"Don't do it again."

"I wont. I promise."

A smile breaks out on her face when I grab her hand in mine.

"So does this mean you forgive me?" She asks hopeful.

I think about it for a few seconds before I answer.

"No. At least not yet."

Her face falls into a sad smile.

"I do love you Ashley. I'll prove it to you, no matter how long it takes."

"Okay." I say with a smile.

I squeeze her hand before standing up.

"Where are you going?" she asks panicked.

"Its late and I don't want to keep you up. I was just going to call a taxi and go get some dry clothes and a hotel room." I say pointing behind me.

"You can stay here you know. I'll let you borrow some pajamas, and we'll wash you clothes for you."

"Spencer I don't know."

"Its fine really I'll sleep out here on the sofa and you can have my bed."

She walks off before I have the chance to reply. While she's gone I start wondering around the small apartment. I stop when I notice a couple pictures on a side table. I flip on the lamp beside it and pick up the first picture.

Its of Spencer and a little boy, that I'm guessing is her son. He looks a lot like Spencer except for the eyes and hair. He has her nose and lips. His face structure is almost exactly the same. Cute round face with high cheek bones. They are sitting on a bench at the park smiling for the camera.

Spencer is holding him on her lap and he has his hands up in the air laughing. I can't help but smile at the sight. I set the picture down and pick up the next one.

This one is just of the little boy, but he is asleep. He has his hand curled into a rock on sign, and a blanket over him with the letters A.B.D on it.

"I love that picture of him." Suddenly comes from behind me.

I jump and set down the picture.

"Geez you scared the crap out of me." I say laughing.

"Sorry, I just came to give you some clothes." She says handing me some sweat pants and a beater.

"Thanks." I say as I take them from her.

"Whats A.B.D?" I ask pointing to the picture.

"Oh its his initials." She says smiling at the picture.

"You gave him Aidens last name?" I ask puzzled.

I notice her tense up and start playing with her hands.

"Um, no actually. Uh the bathroom is down the hall and my bedroom is right over there. Feel free to shower if you want too. I'm going to go change."

Before I can say anything else she walks off.

That is going to have to stop.

I walk in the bathroom and flip on the light. I look rough. My make up is smeared everywhere from the rain and crying. My hair is starting to curl and has some serious afro potential right now. I decide it's be best I took a shower.

The hot water helped sooth my body. I still had so much going through my mind. The main thought that kept coming up was, Spencer is in the next room. It seemed unfathomable that she was actually here. I kept thinking that when I walked out of here I would wake up and this all be a dream. I got out and put on the dry clothes she had given me. When I left the bathroom I heard some noise in the kitchen. I stood in the door way and watched her.

She looked so beautiful.

Her hair was up on top of her head in a messy pony tail, with a loose fitting CCR tee with a pair of black sweat pants. She was looking at some papers in her hand with a worried look on her face.

"Whats wrong?" I ask from the doorway.

She jumps and puts the papers down.

"You scared me. And its nothing just some bills and things. Are you hungry or anything? I was going to make some spaghetti." She says pointing to the stove.

I looked at the clock on the wall.

"Your going to make spaghetti at four in the morning?" I ask with a smile.

Spencer just smiles and shrugs.

"Do you want any?"

"Well duh!" I say walking over to sit at the counter.

I watch in silence as she begins to prepare our food.

I hate and love, that things can fall back into place so easily for us. If I ignore the fact that she has been gone for two years, its almost like we've never been apart.

We eat in silence and smile when we catch the other starring.

"Do you want anymore?" She asks getting up from the table.

"No thanks, i'm stuffed. It was really good thank you."

"No problem. Um, you can head to bed if you want. I'll clean up in here and crash on the couch."

"Are you sure you don't want me to take the couch Spencer? I mean it is your bed."

"Ashley, it's fine really. Go lie down and I'll see you in the morning."

I smile and point outside. "It is morning."

Spencer glances out the window and shakes her head.

"Okay smarty pants, I'll see you this afternoon. Now go." She say waving her hands at me.

I walk into her bedroom and turn on the lights. She has a simple black and white comforter with a few art pictures on the wall. I go to the bed and pull back the covers. Once I get settled I turn off the lamp and close my eyes. My mind wont stop racing. I keep tossing and turning but it feels so wrong being in here without her. I can smell her on the pillow but I can't feel her next to me. It feels like a horrible dream all over again.

After about an hour I can't stand it anymore. I quietly tip toe into the living room and see her turning over and over again.

"Spence." I whisper out into the darkness.

"Yeah Ash, are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine, I just uh. Well I was wondering if you would um, come sleep in here with me?"

"Um, yeah of course." Spencer gets up off the couch and follows me into her bedroom. We both wordlessly get under the covers. I let out a sigh once I get comfortable.

This is the best a bed has made me feel in years.

"Goodnight Ashley."

"Goodnight Spencer."


	28. Fools Rush In

When people tell you, "You can do better. You deserve so much more." In reality, you're right. But sometimes when you love, you love the person for who they are despite what they've done wrong to you. That's what love does to you. It's not about who you deserve, it's about who you want, who you need, and who you love.

I felt it before I realized what it was. I had my arms around someone. Their head was tucked under my chin and a warm hand on my exposed stomach. I took a deep breath through my nose. Spencer. I have no idea how we got like this but I wasn't complaining. I was still very upset with her, don't get me wrong. But this, is what I've been dreaming about for the last two years. Waking up with her in my arms. Spencers hand slowly starts stroking my tone stomach.

I tighten my grip around her, and let out a content sigh. I can tell she is trying to pretend to be asleep by her deliberate slow breaths. She forgets that I can feel her racing heart against my side. I smile to myself and try to hold in my laughter as she lets out a fake snore.

"Spencer I know you awake." I feel her jump and freeze in my arms.

She slowly starts to peel herself away from me.

"Sorry, I just woke up like that, and I didn't want to wake you up or anything. I'm sorry. I should have moved. I'll uh, get up now." She rambles trying to get out of bed.

"Wait a second." I laugh out, grabbing her wrist. She looks up at me with worried eyes.

"Spencer I don't want things to be this weird with us. I know some things are going to take time to heal, and we are definitely going to have to get to know each other again. But it doesn't mean that I don't still want the same things as before." I say grabbing her hand.

Spencer laces our fingers together and smiles at me.

"Ash, we still have a lot to talk about, and there are somethings you still need to know." I nod my head and look down.

"How about we talk over dinner tonight?" I ask looking up into her blue eyes.

Spencer gently takes her hand from mine and stands up to walk around the room.

"Ashley as much as I would love to just focus on us, we have to work in some other aspects into our relationship now." She says starting to pace. I was about to ask her what she meant when I heard the front door open.

"Spence, we're here!" I hear a familiar voice boom from the living room.

"Um, thats my dad, if you want to take a shower and borrow some clothes I'll make some lunch, and I have someone I want you to meet." She says pointing to the living room.

"Okay, yeah just give me a few minuets." I crawl out of bed and hope into the bathroom located in her room.

While I was in the shower I couldn't keep from pinching myself. I mean this all seemed a little crazy. When I got out I saw Spencer had set out some clothes for me to wear. I really needed to make a trip to get some clothes.

When I walked into the kitchen I heard Spencer singing Fast Car by Tracy Chapman. When I looked in the kitchen I saw her holding the little boy from the pictures. She looked so happy and carefree. The little boy was smiling and laughing as they were dancing around the small kitchen. Spencer twirled and caught sight of me. She sang the next verse of the song looking at me.

"I remember we were driving, driving in your car. Speeding so fast it felt like I was drunk. The city lights were laid out before us and your arm felt nice wrapped around my shoulder and I, had a feeling that I belonged, and I had a feeling I could be someone."

I smiled and clapped. The little boy in her arms stared to laugh and clap as well. Spencer blushed and looked down. I stepped closer and looked intently at the smiling boy in her arms.

"Ashley, this is my son. Ashton." My eyes snapped up to look into hers.

She just continued with the introduction.

"Ashton, this is Ashley." Ashton giggled and pointed at me

"Ashy" I wiggled my fingers and gave him a smile. He looked even more like Spencer in person. Next thing I know I have little arms reached out towards me.

"I think he wants you to hold him." Spencer said smiling.

I took a step backwards shaking my head.

"Oh no, Spencer, I uh, I'm no good with kids."

The further I got away the sadder Ashton looked.

"Oh gosh he's gana cry isn't he?" I asked frantically.

"Ashy, hold you!" the little boy pouted. "

He wants to hold you Ashley." Spencer said giggling.

I hesitantly stepped forward and held out my arms. Spencer gently placed the boy into my arms and he immediately wrapped his arms around my neck in a hug. I think my heart just grew another size. I could feel my eyes start to water a little as I rubbed his back and leaned my head on his little body. I had no idea why I was feeling so emotional.

Ashton leaned back and looked at me with a little smirk.

"Dance, Ashy." The little boy told me.

I looked at Spencer and she just smiled and shrugged. I looked back to the little boy in my arms. His brown eyes were shining back at me. I couldn't help the smile that broke out on my face. I began to do this weird little hopping motion around the kitchen. Spencers hysterical laughter stopped me.

"What? What am I doing wrong?" I asked self consciously.

"You look like your trying to get out a wedgie, or have bugs in your pants or something." She says between breaths. I stop my awkward motion and pout at her. She notices and stops laughing.

"Here let me show you." She says taking Ashton from my hands. I figured she was going to dance with him again, but surprised me when she put him in his bouncing chair. Spencer walks over to me and takes one of my hands in hers and puts the other on my shoulder.

The blonde in front of me waits paitenlty for me to make the next move. My eyes never leave hers as I slip my arm around her waist and place my hand gently in hers. We gently begin to sway to music no one can hear but us.

"Sing to me Ash." Spencer quietly requests.

"What do would you like me to sing?" I question just as soft.

"What your feeling right now."

I take a few seconds before a song comes to mind.

_Wise men say._

_Only fools rush in._

_But I can't help, falling in love_

_With you._

_Shall I stay?  
>Would it be a sin.<em>

_If I can't help _

_Falling in love_

_With you. _

_Like a river flows_

_Surely to the sea_

_Darling so it goes._

_Some things _

_Are meant to be._

_Take my hand._

_Take my whole life too_

_For I can;t help _

_Falling in love _

_With you_

_Like a river flows_

_Surely to the sea_

_Darling so it goes_

_Some things _

_Are meant to be._

_Take my hand_

_Take my whole life too_

_For I can't help_

_Falling in love _

_With you. _

_For I can't help _

_Falling in love_

_With You._

When I get done singing Spencer has the slightest hint of tears in her eyes. We've stopped swaying and are just holding each other now. I slowly bring my hand up to cup her cheek. I smile when she closes her eyes at the contact.

When she opens her baby blues, I see her glance down at my lips and back to my eyes. I feel something tap my leg and look down. Ashton is looking back at me with his big brown eyes smiling. I smile at Spencer before kneeling down to look at him.

"Sorry buddy I forgot my dance partner."

The little boy lets out a giggle as I pick him up. I start to gently sway the both of us around the kitchen. Spencer leans on the counter and watches us with a small smile playing on her lips. After a good ten minutes of laughing and dancing with Ashton, Spencer takes him from me.

"You little mister need a nap."

She says tapping his nose with her finger.

His face falls at the word nap and I can't help but let my heart melt at the pout he is giving his mom.

"I'll be right back I'm going to go put him down, feel free to get something to drink, you'll have to excuse the lack of food. Well I mean if you don't mind mac and cheese, or scooby snack gummies, then you can eat some of those." She says laughing nervously.

"I'm sure I can find something." I say ushering her out of the room.

I walk to a cupboard and grab a glass and get some water. A few minutes later Spencer comes back in the kitchen,

"Hey Ash, I'm going to run out to my car real quick, if he cries or anything just come get me."

I just nod my head as she leaves the room. As if by magic, as soons as she shuts the front door, I hear Ashton crying softly. I set down my glass of water and walk down the short hall to his room. When I open the door and turn on the light I see his room is covered in hand painted space ships in a galaxy of stars.

No doubt Spencers art work. I walk over to the toddler and pick him up.

"Whats wrong little man?" I ask the sweet boy.

"Bear!" He says sternly pointing to his shelf of toys.

I turn around and see instantly what bear he is talking about. I set him back down in his bed and walk to get the bear. Its the same bear Spencer got on our first date together. I cant help but smile as I catch a wiff of the strawberry smell still coming off of him.

"He loves that bear." I hear from behind me.

I qucikly turn around to see Spencer standing in the doorway. I don't know what to say, so I walk back over to Ashton and give him his toy. I tuck them both in under the blanket that has A.B.D on it and told him "Sleep sweet buddy."

Spencer is no longer standing in the doorway when I turn around. I shut out the lights and softly close the door. I make my way in the living room to find the blonde looking at pictures on the side table. When she hears me coming closer she turns around. I take a seat on the sofa and look at her. She looks like she needs to tell me something.

"What is it Spence?" '

"Remember how yesterday, you asked if I gave Ashton, Aiden's last name?"

I simply nod my head.

"Well I uhh..."

Spencer start playing with her hands nervously. Just as she's about to say something her cell phone rings.

"Excuse me a second."

I watch as she walks into the kitchen to take the call. I wait patiently and can vaguely hear her excited voice. When she re enters the living room she has a large smile on her face.

"I don't have to work today." She tells me happily.

I hear a buzzing noise and start looking around.

"Do you hear that?" I ask standing up.

I follow the noise until it leads me to my jacket over in the corner of the room. I guess I must have thrown it off the night before. I smirk at the thought and pick it up. The buzzing noise happens to be my cell-phone. I completely forgot about it. I actually forgot that their was a world out there at all. I fish out the device and answer it immediately.

"Hello?"

"_Finally! Do you know how many times i've tried to get a hold of you? I thought some old hillbillies had kidnapped you or something!" _

I hold the phone a ways from my ear and wait for her rant to end.

"Carmen, Carm calm down. I'm fine."

I glance at Spencer and she points to the kitchen and walks away.

I hear Carmen talk a calming breath.

"_Sorry. How did things go? Where are you? Did you guys get married yet? Is she married already? Is Aiden there? Tell me everything!" _She blabbers into the phone.

I roll my eyes even though I know she can't see me.

"I don't really know whats happening myself. Its like we're normal and back to how we were, but there is always that underlying tension, and I don't know how to get passed it. It weird, but so great at the same time." I take a seat and rest my forhead on my fist.

"_Well I mean what did you expect? You guys have a lot of shit to work through. It has only been one day Ash. The longer your around the easier it will get. Speaking of how long are you planning on being __away? People are already talking. And not to mention, regardless of what all the women I've slept with think, I am not super woman. I don't know how long I can keep up with all this shit by myself." _

"I'm not sure how long I'm staying yet. I know you're already very busy, but do you think you could have a car sent over here. You know just in case something goes wrong? I already have my credit card and that stuff on me. I just need a mode of transportation."

"_I already had one sent out, the keys are in the gas tank thingy, and I had a GPS put in there with updated routes of Ohio in there." _

"Are you sure your not super woman?" I ask shaking my head.

"What kind of car did you have sent out anyways?" I ask looking out side.

I don't see anything like what I would drive.

"_Well I didn't know exactly know what Ohio is like, so I kind of thought to the extremes. It should be parked at the very end of the parking row." _she says hesitantly.

I open the door and look out to the end of the row.

You've got to be kidding me.

Sitting at the end of the lot is a black lifted 2011 Chevy Silverado 2500hd. I walk outside and climb up the floor runner to look inside. The seats are a silver leather with black leather framing it. The carpet is black, and it brings out the silver dash more. I hop down and examine the mud tires supporting the two foot lift.

"Carmen where did you think I was going, Antarctica?"

"_I don't know! I just thought this was best a the time, get off me I'm under a lot of pressure!" _

"Your right, sorry Carm this is perfect thank you." I get the keys from the gas compartment, that happens to be a little above my shoulder height.

How the hell am I going to drive this thing?

"_Oh and I put a surprise in the back seat for you." _ She says with a smile in her voice. I step up on the floor runners again and peer through the dark tint of the windows.

It's a car seat.

"Thanks Carmen. I really appreciate everything. Don't be afraid to call me if things get to bad okay? I'll be home after a while. I just need to get things figured out here first. If the press gets to be too much just tell them I'm in New York visiting dad or something. He wont know the difference anyway."

"_You got it. Take care Ash, I'll see you soon." _

"Bye Carmen." I flip the phone shut and take a step back to look at the beast. I shake my head and walk back inside. When I open the door I see Spencer pacing back and forth.

"Whats wrong?" I ask worried.

Her head snaps up and her eyes lock on mine.

She breathes a sigh of relief and stops walking.

"Nothing, I just thought, I dont know I thought you were going to leave or something." She admits looking down.

I hold back the bitter remark, about how it isn't me that leaves with no good bye.

"Nope your stuck with me for a while. Carmen had a car dropped off for me. Well its actually more like a tank. I was actually wondering if we could go get me some clothes and stuff today? I came un prepared." I say playing with my hands.

"Yeah that sounds great, we can head to the mall after Ashton wakes up if you want." I walk over to the sofa and take a seat and she soon follows.

We both sit in silence for a bit. I can feel her looking at me every so often. I finally relent and look back. Spencer smiles softly at me

"I've really missed you Ash."

"I've missed you too Spencer."

The girl next to me leans over and rests her head on my shoulder. I hesitantly reach out and grab her hand. As soon as our fingers interlock a wave of peace comes over me. I really have missed this. I hear her let out a content sigh when I start to rub my thumb across her hand.

"Spence?" I whisper out causing her to look up.

She hasn't scooted back any so our faces out very close.

"I've missed you." I murmur out before slowly leaning in to her.

I gently brush my lips across hers and it feels like I'm finally complete again. She kisses me back just as soft. It only lasts a few seconds before I pull back and rest my forehead on hers.

A smile on my face. Maybe everything can work out for the best this time.

Songs used

Can't Help Falling In Love- Elivs Presley

Fast Car by Tracy Chapman


	29. As Long As You Love Me

**So I know it's been forever. My computer got a virus and I haven't had the money to fix it. I am going to buy another here within the next couple weeks so more updates will be following! My lovely sister has allowed me to use her computer for the night, and I'm going to write as much as I can. Not going to lie….Justin Bieber's song As Long As You Love Me inspired me to write this one. Got to love the Biebs. Anyways! On with the story!**

A soft cry breaks us apart from our embrace. Spencer smiles apologetically at me, and goes to check on Ashton. Around twenty minutes later I hear little feet headed towards the living room. I turn my head in time to see Ashton barrel around the corner with arms up, and smiling. I immediately pick him up and set him on my lap.

"Did you have a good nap little man?" I ask tickling his sides. The only response I get is a squeal of excitement.

Spencer lets out a soft chuckle from the hall way. "So, you guys ready to go shopping?" the blonde says after a moment.

"Toys!" bursts from Ashton's now wiggling body.

"I guess so."

The three of us make our way to the front door after grabbing purses and diaper bags. I'm carrying Ashton and the car keys while Spencer carries the diaper bag.

"I can hold him Ashley you don't have to do that."

I shoot her a glance and shake my head. "I know I don't have to. I just want to." The smile I get from my favorite blonde is heart melting. Once we reach my truck Spencer stops dead in her tracks.

"Seriously? This is what Carmen sent you? Where did she think you were going, Antarctica?" I can't help but laugh.

"I said the exact same thing." I tell her as I open the passenger side door for her. I wait a moment but she doesn't get in.

"What's up Spencer?" I ask as I adjust Ashton in my arms.

Spencer looks down hesitantly and says, "We have to take my car, Ashton needs his car seat."

I smile and open the back door for her. "Carmen already took care of that for me."

"Oh, that was really thoughtful of her." Spencer says happily and climbs in the front. I pull myself into the back seat and place Ashton in his seat. I never knew how many buckles came with these things. After a good three minutes of struggling, Spencer finally helps me out. "Those things are rigged my NASA or something." I grumble as I start up the truck. I back out of the spot and head for the main road.

"So where we headed Spence?"

"Turn left up here and head straight for about 12 miles."

We drive in silence for a bit after that. "Hey Spence, you know what the best thing about trucks is?" She shakes her head no. "They have middle seats." I say matter of factly.

"Oh really, and why is that such a great thing Ash?" I roll my eyes at her coyness.

"Come sit next to me at the next stop sign." I almost whine.

Just as I requested, Spencer slides over next to me at the next stop. I place a hand on her thigh and resume driving. "Much better."

We reach the small shopping center a few moments later. I get the basic essentials I need and a few jeans and t-shirts. The entire time I had Ashton either on my hip, or holding my hand. Spencer relentlessly tried to tell me that she would take him. Every time I told her the same thing, no. I was growing so attached to the little brunette that it made me wonder how I could ever leave. I quickly pushed leaving to the back of my mind as we passed a toy store.

Spencer had to run to the restroom quickly so I took the opportunity to let Ashton pick out a few things. Well, a few things turned into a lot of things. I looked at all of the bags in front of me, and said to Ashton,

"I think I'm going to need more hands bub." He of course, just laughed and played with one of the paper sacks. Kids, always entertained by the simplest things. Spencer was not pleased when she came back from the restroom to say the least.

"Ashley what is all of that?"

"Um, well I thought I could, well Ashton really seemed to…I wanted new toys?" Spencer just rolled her eyes.

"How much was all of that stuff Ash?"

"Why does it matter? I just wanted to do something nice for him. It's not like I don't have the money." I said, starting to get a little angry.

"Yeah well we don't need your money; we were doing fine on our own. I know I may not have the nicest place or drive the most expensive car, but I have what I have because I did it on my own. And as much as I appreciate you spoiling Ashton like that, I won't be able to spend all that money on him in the future. I don't want him to be expecting to get toys like this all the time, and be disappointed when I let him down and can't get him the things he wants."

With that Spencer picked up Ashton and walked away. I sat down on the bench next to me and put my head in my hands. I had no idea it would make her that mad. I knew she was proud of doing everything on her own, and felt independent. I just didn't expect that kind of reaction. I took a deep breath through my nose and sat up. I gathered all the bags and took them back inside the toy shop.

The man at the counter was less than excited to have to do the return of all the toys. I walk back out of the store to see Spencer sitting on the bench I had previously occupied. I just grab the diaper bag off the floor along with my bags of clothes and start towards the car. If she can get mad at the drop of a hat, then so can I. Neither of us says anything on the walk to the truck. I open the back door so she can buckle in Ashton, since we both know I have a new hatred for that seat. I set my clothes in the floor board of the other side in the back.

Once I start up the truck I glance at Spencer. She is looking out the window with her arms crossed. I sigh in frustration and put down the console in the middle seat. She wasn't going to sit next to me anyway. The ride home was quiet. Ashton was asleep, so I decided to turn on the radio quietly.

_Ashley Davies has gone missing right after the biggest night in her career. No one has seen or heard from the star since just after her performance last night. It is rumored that Davies fired her manager and took off on her private jet to some unknown location. Sources close to the star say, she has needed to take some personal time for a while now. Her absence has put a big burden on her CO-CEO of ASD records, Carmen Sanchez. There is talk of several artists revoking their contract due to lack of personal attention the past two days. All of us are wondering, what is so important to Ashley Davies that she would jeopardize everything she has worked so hard for. _

I switch off the radio with a huff. It had only been two days and everything was falling to shit. At the studio, and with Spencer. I just couldn't win today. We pulled into Spencer's small complex lot and I turn off the truck and grab the diaper bad while she gets Ashton. I leave my clothes in the truck though. Once inside, the blonde goes and puts her son in his crib. I set the bag down and stay standing by the door. When Spencer comes back into the room she won't make eye contact.

"I'm going to go stay at a hotel." Comes out of my mouth without any emotion.

That got her to look up.

"What?" she says barley above a whisper.

"I feel like I'm wearing out my welcome, and over stepping boundaries or something. So maybe a little distance would be good for us right now."

"Yeah because it was so wonderful the first time." She says bitterly.

"That was your choices not mine!" I yell at the girl in front of me.

I take a breath and calm myself down. "I'm sorry for yelling like that." I say as I lean against the wall.

"It's okay Ash. I'm sorry for what I said in the shop. Just don't leave. Sit down please? We can talk about this. Just please don't leave."

I glance up and see the broken look on her beautiful face. I walk over and wrap her in a hug. "I'm not going anywhere Spence. I am just frustrated right now."

We both go and sit on the couch facing each other.

"Listen Spencer," I start out firmly. "I know you are proud of doing all of this on your own. I know you have sacrificed pretty much everything you have to get where you are. I am so proud for you. I should have asked you before I bought those things for Ashton, I know. But not because it's about the money. It's because I love you, and even though I just met Ashton, I love him too. We could be broke, and have no place to live, and as long as you loved me, I would be happy. I am risking everything I have worked for just being here with you. I don't want you to think I'm trying to make you feel any sort of guilt for that. I just want you to know that you, and now Ashton, are more important than anything else I have in my life right now."

I barley have time to finish my little speech before Spencer wraps her arms around my neck to hug me.

"Thank you Ash. Thank you so much. I love you, so so much. I'm sorry, I just, and I don't know how to explain what happened. Please forgive me?" I rub the now crying blondes back and hold her tight to me.

"I forgive you baby. Just try and talk to me before you get so angry." I feel her nod into my shoulder before pulling away to look at me. "Ash, I need to tell you something."

"Okay, you can tell me anything Spence." I see her take a deep breath before she whispers out.

"Ashton's last name… is Davies. He has your last name."


	30. 180

I feel like the air has been sucked out of my lungs.

I see Spencers mouth moving but I don't hear whatever it is she is saying.

My last name. So does that mean that Ashton is technically my son?

"Hold up." I say as I stand up from the couch.

Spencer is stuck looking at me with wide eyes. Probably afraid I will bolt. Not going to lie, I kinda want to right now.

"I know this is kinda shocking right now, and I know this is the last thing you expected, but if you just let me explain everything really quick-"

I hold my hand up to cut her off and walk to the window.

"Spence can I have some time to process this? Please? " I ask already heading for my truck. I feel an hand on my arm and stop.

"You're coming back right?" She asks with pleading eyes.

"Yes, of course im coming back. I just need a moment. This is just a little too much right now."

She just nods her head and lets go of my arm. I get in my truck and start to drive. A million and one thoughts are running through my head right now. I come to a stop sign on a dirt road and decide to see where the dirt road leads.

After driving for about two miles I come to stop at a little pond. There is a big oak tree with a fallen branch almost the size of my truck, right by the edge of water. The truck rolls to a stop and I kill the engine. My feet feel heavy, even in the soft green grass surrounding the pond. I immediately scale the tree and walk out on the fallen branch.

As I sit down, the rough bark catches my pants. I stare at the water for a long time before it finally hits me. I climb down and get in my truck. Once I start to drive, my phone starts to ring. Its Carmen. "Hello?"

"_You're not going to like this." _ She says and I can hear people and cameras all around her.

"Of course not." I mutter and sigh. "Whats going on?"

"_I know you really want to make things work with Spencer, but I can't handle all of this by myself." _

I take a deep breath and tell her what I had already decided.

"I know Carm I'm going to tell Spencer I'm leaving right now. I'll be home before midnight and I will get things back on track first thing in the morning."

I've come to the conclusion that you can't put your life on hold for anyone. Not even the person you love most in the world. She needs to figure out her life, and I need to figure out mine. If it just so happens to be with out each other then that's how its going to be.

I know I've done a complete 180 in the past hour, and its not even because she told me that he has my last name. I'm actually pretty happy about that. It's because if she really wants me in his life, and in hers; she is going to have to make the effort.

She is going to have to get what ever issues she has with herself sorted out as well. The snapping at me for no reason, the hiding things from me. The come here go away trip that we seem to have on repeat? Yeah all of that needs to go somewhere, and stay there.

I hang up with Carmen right as I'm pulling into the complex. Ashton is playing in the grass area outside of the apartment door. Spencer is sitting in her lawn chair watching him with a content smile on her face. The content smile is replaced with a look of concern as I get closer.

"Ash is everything okay?"

"I'm going back to LA tonight."

Her face is confused and hurt, but right now I don't think it can change my decision.

"Is this, is this because of what I-"

"No Spence," I take her hand in mine, "this has nothing to do with that. Its just I have responsibilities now. And I also think you and I need to just be friends, for now. Its like I don't even know you anymore. And in a way I don't. We need to get back to the basics before we mix all the other into an already complicated situation."

I know what I'm saying to her right now is hurtful. I know what I'm saying right now goes against everything I've been trying to accomplish for the last 2 years. But you know those life changing moments, that hit you like a truck; out of nowhere? This was one of those moments.

"When are you leaving?" Spencer asks, holding back tears.

"Right now."

I hear her let out a shaky breath as she drops my hand and turns around.

"I guess you should get going then."

I shake my head at her answer, and walk over to Ashton.

"Hey buddy." I say as I kneel next to him. "I have to go now. But I'm going to miss you, and your mommy very much." At this he looks at me with teary eyes.

"Ashy leave?"

"Yeah, Ashy has to leave."

As tears start to spill down his little cheeks, I feel my own start to prick my eyes.

"No!" He all but shouts, "Stay here." He grabs my hand with his smaller ones.

"I can't. I'm so sorry Ashton." I guess Spencer heard the huskiness in my voice and decided to step in.

"Honey, Ashley has to go back home now. Give her a big hug and tell her bye bye."

Ashton launches himself into my arms and I can feel tears soak into my shirt.

"Bye bye Ashy, I love you." With that he runs off into the open apartment door.

I feel my legs shake as I stand and wipe the tears from my face. "Tell him that I love him too okay?" I request to Spencer. She simply nods at me and walks inside after her son.

As I start up my truck to head to the airport, I can't help but think; why does it feel like I'm the one running away.


	31. Like A Star

_**This chapter is inspired by the song Stay by Mayday Parade. If you feel the need you should check it out**_

_**Thank you every one for the reviews and everyone who is still with this story after so long. I appreciate your awesomeness**_

I glance at my cell phone as I walk into my house. 3:36 a.m.

Wonderful.

Just before I put the small device back in my pocket, it starts to ring. The shrillness of it makes me leave myself a mental note to change it.

"Hello?" I say, even though I know its Carmen.

Why do people say hello nowadays anyway? We know who it is. Your caller ID and connections to Facebook tumblr twitter…sorry, getting off track.

"_Are you just now getting home from the studio?" _

I mumble an affirmative as I go to the kitchen to make myself a drink. I fill the glass half way with Jack Daniels and make my way to my office.

I kick my shoes off once I'm seated and stretch my feet. I let a satisfied sigh as my toes crack and pop. Setting my phone on speaker and placing it on my desk, Carmen's tired voice fills my office. We talk business for a while before she finally says what I know she called to say in the first place.

"_Are you drinking again Ash?"_

I glance down at the empty glass on my desk.

"I had some Jack, but I don't think I'm going to get anymore."

I know she worries about me. It's been a month since I got back from Ohio without a word from Spencer. I know, I'm just as shocked as you are. (That's sarcasm.)

"_Ashley.." _

"I know Carm. I know, but I'm not going back to that place. Listen I just need sometime. Can you bring by those Mayday Parade files in the morning? They want to sing a song I wrote, so we have to get all the legal stuff out of the way as soon as we can."

I hear her let out a sigh and ask, _"Do you still love her Ash?"_

She asks me this with hopes that I will say no one day. That I will move on one day. The leather of my chair groans as I sit back and think about her repetitive question; my answer is always different, but never negative.

"Carm, all the love is still there…I just don't know what to do with it now."

"_Maybe try to focus it on someone else?" _

I think that option over for a second, but quickly dismiss it.

"Listen I have to go. I have a meeting at 8:00 a.m. that I can't be late for so I need to try and get some sleep and you need to go back to sleep. Don't worry about being in the office before eleven tomorrow ok?"

"_Yeah okay Ash. See you tomorrow, well later today." _

I let out a moan as I stretch in my chair, feeling the tense muscles in my neck ease for a moment before standing up. I grab my empty glass and head to the kitchen to put it in the sink. As I pass my hallway mirror, my reflection catches my attention.

I stop and look at myself for a good minuet. I trace the dark circles under my eyes with my free hand. The white in my eyes are more red these days, and I can see my cheeks starting to sink in just a bit.

"Is she really worth doing this to yourself Davies?" I ask the person in the mirror.

She doesn't answer me. Giving up on getting an answer, I continue my mission to the kitchen. I notice the mail on the counter as I place my glass in the sink. One of the maids must have gotten it for me. Anticipating most of them to be bills, I only halfway pay attention as I shuffle thru them.

A postcard falls from somewhere in the middle of the pile and onto the floor. I feel my knees pop as I bend down to get it. I roll my eyes at this. What am I, 200 years old? I stand back up and study the front of the card. It has a nice moon and some start shining brightly on the front. I flip it over and I see some very familiar hand writing.

**My love's like a star**

**My love's like a star **

**You can't always see me**

**But you know that I'm always there**

**When you see one shining**

**Take it as mine**

**And remember I'm always near**

**If you see a comet**

**Baby I'm on it**

**Making my way back home**

**Just follow the glow **

**It won't be long**

**Just know that you're not alone**

_**Lyrics at the end by Demi Lovato. Don't be afraid to let me know what you think **___


End file.
